My husband and I have only been married for 3 months, but we believe we're ready for a baby. We're 23 and both adore kids. I just want to know what to really expect. I could talk to my friends and mother/mother-in-law, but I'd rather talk to people I don't know because you'll tell me the truth! haha

What are the worst and best parts about being pregnant?

Is intercourse really unbareable after childbirth?

Do men generally get jealous or distant after the baby is born? I've never heard this, but in thinking about it..it came to me that maybe my husband will feel second to the baby. Not that he's immature but right now he has ALL of my attention and after I have a baby, my main focus will be him/her and I'm thinking it could be problematic, even if just slightly. (I really would hate for our first fight to be about me spending more time with my baby then my "baby" haha)

What advise can you give me when it comes to conception? I looked in the tips forum, but there aren't really any tips in there..

I have not had the pleasure of having a baby yet so I cannot attest to the pain of child birth, all I will say is that some woman do it more than once, so it must not be that bad. To address the intercourse after child birth, I think after you heal then it is no different than before. To address some men being jealous, yes they were use to getting all the woman's attention, but most adjust.


Looking forward to posting with you as we go on this journey of trying to get pregnant along with the other ladies here.

Hi Sugarcoma, welcome to the boards. My DH and I were younger like you when we started our family (I was 22 he was 27) and we wouldnt change it for the world. So here let me give you some honest answers the way they were for me.
Pregnancy is not perfect, there are some bad stuff with it (with my second baby I threw up for 6 mths) but there are so many great things about being pregnant that it is all worth it. I have never felt sexier than when I was pregnant (I know sounds weird but totally true) and maternity clothes now a day are so cute. Also feeling that baby inside of you is so incredible, there is nothing like it.
Child birth hurts there is no getting around it, but epidurals are so easy now days and I really dont feel like it changed how I bonded with my babies or felt about my labor process. In fact because you cant get up and walk for a while I was forced to lay there and let other people do stuf for me and that is not my personality so baby and I had lots of time to see each other and start to get to know one another.
Sex after child birth is no differant for me (by the way we a lot of bd when I was pregnant sorry TMI)
My Dh never felt left out after baby got here but he was as excited as I was all along. I do have a very good friend that has major problems with her DH because of baby but he never really wanted to have kids in the first place and she promised him all along that she would do everything and of course that is way to hard, so they fight constantly.
Basicaly what I am saying is that being prengant is so fun, but having the baby and raising a child in the most incredible journey. I cant hardly wait to start it again.
Good luck with your desicion

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Sugar - PG comes with many ups and downs, as does childbirth and motherhood. I recommend that you purchase a book called "What to Expect when your Expecting". I found that helpful in both of my pregnancies.

Sex is good during and after PG - unless you have medical complications, but that is true for any couple, right? And sometimes your libido sky rockets, and sometimes it can't be found (aahh, you're covered in vomit, your bb's are leaky and haven't slept in days can leave you feeling a weee bit unsexy).

As to your DH feeling second best or left out, he will be equally in love with this baby! Love as you knew it will change after you give birth to his child! For my DH and I, a bond developed that we had never known. Granted, you NEED to still make time just for you and DH - because he can and will be slightly neglected when a child is born, especially in the first few months. Talk about with him now - so he is prepared that if and when it happens he can understand that it's not because you don't love him. Hence the invention of DATE NIGHT and babysitters!!!! Good luck! Join us when you're ready on the TTC forum! Babydust!

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~Meagan
Mama to 3
DS Rolando - 12
DD Soleil - 7
DS Joaquin - 10 months

With my first child, I had alot of dryness and zero libido after birth. Then, of course, there was the leaking breasts that no longer belonged to him. And after breastfeeding, the bbs sagged and the belly never quite fully went away. But DH was very comforting and understanding, though.

Having a baby can be very draining, and I won't lie to you and say that nothing will change. Your relationship does change; it's bound to because you go from two to three. But it's up to the both of you how you will deal with the changes. Having this baby that is a part of both of you can make life messy, but also quite wonderful. But you have to go into it with both eyes open and be accepting of the fact that change is inevitable. If you are used to and expect having a lot of alone time and plenty of time to romp around in the bedroom and do things spontaneously and be romantic and wear nice lingerie and put on makeup, well, perhaps you might want to wait a little longer (it's not that you can't do these things with a baby; it's just harder). With a child, you also find that you can't even argue like you used to or discuss things so openly like you used to--that's just the way it is. But, you find, instead that when your dh brings home some take-out, or calls you in the middle of the day, or picks up the dry-cleaning, or comes home just dying to hold your baby, you just about melt like an ice cream cone. I can't go back to a pre-baby marriage, but you know, I don't want to. Our lives are enriched, and the love that we feel for each other is so much deeper and sweeter than what we had before. Enough so that I'm now pregnant a second time. And looking forward to it--although, I'm not enjoying getting fat, but its just par for the course.

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