I'm starting to think/recognize that I may be dealing w/ a little PPD. I don't feel sad, rather I feel anger & resentment toward DH, the dog, and sometimes the baby. Last night I got really angry at DH and for no reason. I was thinking horrible things like telling him to leave and never come back. I'm just glad I didn't say any of them. Just last week I realized that I need to give DH a break sometimes, too - I expect him to give me or the baby 100% of his attention when he's home. I'm sure he needs some "me" time after being at work all day. Last night I told DH that not being skinny and not being able to pump were the 2 things that were really stressing me out and that's why I was so angry at him. I do not want to take any kind of meds if this is PPD. Anyone dealt with this before? What are some things I can do to deal w/ this naturally? I don't want to ruin my relationship w/ DH. Hannah will grow up and leave one day, and if I don't have a good marriage, I will be all alone.

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Kelly Iam so sorry you feel that way, but truthfully I felt the same way in the beginning and it took me a bit to get things in order. I know your dealing with trying to pump and its stressing you out and I would suggest calling the lactation cons. again ( I cant believe she didnt call you back) on the PPD side of things, if you feel you have it, I would speak with your dr, I know there are some meds you can take that dont affect you BF hannah. Try not to stress to much, easier said than done I know, a lot of us have gone through something similar & it will all work out. Are you able to get out and go shopping or go and get a pedi for yourself and dh watch hannah? even just getting out like that may help you, and yes our dh's need a break too, mind you I feel not in the same way as us, but i remember going through what you are going through and it is hard but try to do things for yourself. You will appreciate things more.. I know Cassie had what she thought was PPD in the beginning too so maybe she has some advice for you. Sorry if that was no help. You are strong and things will be fine! HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Kelly -(((((HUGS))))) I don't have any experience with PPD but I just wanted to know I am thinking of you.

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Kelly - Talk to your doctor. She will get you some help. It is good you are realizing it. You don't want to go on for months like that. Thinking of you.

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Kelly, I know that you dont want to go on meds, there are a lot of natural options out there. Exersize is supposed to be really helpful in getting over it. There is also some vitamin combos that are supposed to work. I never saw a huge differance with the natural methods and went on prozac eventually. It worked really fast for me and I am so glad I took it. I have now taken it with all three kids and am fine with needing it now.

I think it is hard to admit that we need something when this is such a "happy" time in our life but when you need it you need it. It is such a hormonal time, your body puts out the same amount of hormones that are in a whole pack of BCP everyday when you are pg and then it just stops the minute the baby is born. That is hard to adjust to. Please dont hesitate to talk to your doc if you need too. It is so much more fun with your baby in that first year if you can enjoy them and not feel so emotional.

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Oh, Kelly you poor thing.

I agree with what everyone else has said...mention it to your dr and see what they say. It's better to be safe then sorry! Hope you start to feel better soon. ((((HUGS))))

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Kelly - I don't really know if there is any advice I can give you, but just to say that you are not alone. I did get on meds for about a week, but there was a weekend that I sent Rhylee home with my MIL and the next morning I didn't want to get out of bed because I knew I would have to start all over again with her. I cried for about 2 days straight I think, then something snapped and I felt so much better and that's when I got off the pills. I still have MANY moments where I'm angry with dh because he's not very hands on and he has hobbies and friends to go do things with and I don't. Sometime when Rhylee doesn't do what I want her to do I get frustrated and just this week I just had to go put her in her crib because I didn't know what else to do with her....the dog...yeah he gets it too. I know you don't want meds but like Tammy said, speak to your doctor. Maybe they know of some natural ways...maybe they have "studies" on these types of things. The only thing I can say is make some time for yourself. Go out with friends, have a date night with DH. As far as BF'ing...I know you want to do it really badly and you are doing great, but I wanted to also, but it was the most stressful thing for me and once I stopped trying, it did get easier for me...Sorry about the novel, but I want you to feel better!!!

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Thanks, girls, for all your support. I don't know what I would do without you. I'll keep you up to date on what's going on with this.

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((hugs))....the girls gave some great advice. i didn't deal with PPD, so i can't give any advice really..just that i'm thinking of you...

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IMOPO... I'm not a Dr by any means, but I feel that too many women are wrongfully diagnosed with PPD after having given birth. Take a look at the lifestyle change that has just occured. Usually after having a baby, it's the woman who is at home caring for the baby by herself while her DH is at work. You're sleep deprived due to getting up several times a night with the baby. A lot of fathers don't even get up in the night with the baby. Then these women deal with the baby all day. The baby cries and you have to figure why the baby is crying. It's all you can do to even take a shower during the day. So many times mom doesn't even get to eat when she's hungry and when she does eat, her meal gets interrupted by crying baby. Don't even think about dinner happening tonight b/c it just aint gonna happen! Grocery shopping or running errands with a baby? Forget it! I highly believe most of these women have EVERY reason to be having these feelings of being overwhelmed and upset with their DH's. Working or not, I feel like a lot of these men need to step up to the plate and help out more. I wish some of you lived closer to me, I would gladly help out! Okay, off my soap box now.
Kelly~ I hope you're doing better and you're getting more help.

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Gina Well put!!

I totally agree with you, dr's miss diagnose things all the time or jump to the conclusion of PPD and offer pills, and what you wrote is what I went through, so I know , I was in those shoes 1 year ago, the beginning is hard and we have to adapt to our new lives!! It does take time, but soooooooooo worth it!!!!!

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Well said Gina.

kelly- I hope you are feeling better!!

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i had PPD with my daughter. i am sorry you are going through this. I know that a natural way to help alleviate the symptoms is to use a natural progesterone cream. I know i am also talking about that stuff....but that is what we recommended to moms when i worked in the herbal shop. Its safe when you are BFing too. just make sure to wash your hands and not to get it on your breasts. I havent used it for PPD , hopefully i wont have that problem this time around, but a lot of my friends have used it and it has helped them tremendously. Hope you feel better soon. I remember how hard it was.

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Kelly - How are you doing these days?

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Laura, Gina - thanks for checking in

Lynn - thanks for the info

I've felt better this week. One thing I've done is to get up as soon as DH leaves and get started on my day while Hannah is still sleeping instead of going back to bed with her - I feel like I get a lot more accomplished.

Also, I got to go visit my friend and her baby who is the same age and it was nice to be able to talk a/b everything we're going through.

And talking to my friend a/b pumping and realizing that I'm not the only one who has a hard time helped a lot, too. We'll see how the next week goes.

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Gina - your right. I don't beleive I really had it. I think I was just going through the motions. I was drained from trying so hard to BF and I felt like I NEVER got to see dh. He was either working or sleeping. The thing that really scared me is when I didn't want to wake up b/c I didn't know what to do with her. Then it was like a light switch and now I can't get enough of her!!!

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Kelly ~ That is great!! Hope you can get out and do more of that!! Glad you found something that is working for you so far and it doesnt involve pills! It does take sometime to adjust to the new lifestyle of having a baby

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Kelly~ That's awesome that you have a friend that has a baby the same age. That's probably the best medicine right there. Just someone else to talk to. I hope things still continue to improve for you. If you find that you're still in a funk after a while then by all means go see your Dr and have you hormone levels checked.

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Ok, I've got a question for you guys. Did any of you new moms bawl EVERYDAY after bringing your baby home? I can't seem to stop crying, and it's always about something REALLY stupid. Like yesterday for example, I started bawling because DH had literally done EVERYTHING for Jaicee all day long, except feed her. He got her up in the morning, got her dressed, did her hai (even put a cute bow in it), and everything. I felt like such a bad mom because I hadn't even changed a diaper. Now I'm sitting her bawling again because I'm talking about it. My dr told me to expect to be weepy, but is this NORMAL? Right now I'm completely terrified because DH goes back to work on Monday and I just don't know what I'll do with her by myself all day and all night. He's on a graveyard shift and works 12 hours, so literally I'll have her all night long and all day long by myself because he'll need to sleep. I know mom's do this all the time, so why does it seem so hard? i don't feel any resentment towards her or him, I just literally would love to have a day where I didn't need to bawl for some stupid reason. HELP!!

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