We have all been blessed to run across a site called conception-tips.com. Most of us came here for a few tips to get pregnant not really looking for friendships that would end up changing our lives. (or at least it changed mine)

Over the years the site has transformed to being primarily a site for new mommies since most of who came here for tips have graduated.

Unfortunately there is a handful of us - actually 2 handfuls of us. That have been trying to get pregnant for over 2 years.

We have supported our fellow sisters, cried with their dissappointments, supported them as we tried to dust them off and put them back on the track of trying again, we have celebrated their successes and were happy to see them go. While we remain...waiting...

There are times when we are the forgotten ones. Let's not forgot the main part of this cake is the "conception" part. Being able to continue the bonds and friendships we created last thru during pregnancy and early motherhood are the icing.

I invite those of you who are "infertility survivors" to step back in time and remember what it was like. And to share your story. To not brush it off with "it's all worth it".

Cause when you are in the trenches, there are certain days when it's hard to believe.

I hope that those of you that have wisdom to share with people in your offline lives about IF share it with them. So they know they are not alone. Do not tell them to relax but give them something real they can work with.

I will be attending Night of Hope on Thursday night. it's a fundraiser with members of the Resolve Southwest region.

And for those of you who haven't seen this, I hope you take the time to click on this link.

http://www.tearsandhope.com/emptyarms_video.html


Hugs to all.

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Betsy- thanks for re-posting that link. I've seen it here before and really needed that today. I am gearing up for O-time and am in the hopeful stage. It's good to know that others have struggled and now have little ones. I just wish it could happen to us all, soon. Prayers for everyone are going up!!

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I'm fortunate that I didn't have to go through all the same struggles some of you did, but I remember that the 6 months I did struggle were heartbreaking. When I saw this link, maybe 18 months ago, I remember bawling and thinking that I was going to share it with our families the next month if we didn't get pg - b/c I couldn't stand hearing "When are you going to have a baby?"
Now I have 2 friends, 6 months in who are facing similar challenges. My heart goes out to them and to all of you. Of course this video still makes me cry.
This morning I was at church with Hannah and she was so perfect and wonderful I was in awe at how blessed I am. She does things I never thought a baby would do.
Of course the challenges I face now are different. As I struggle with trying to be a good mommy, a good wife, and still a good teacher, I've suffered emotionally and spiritually. I'm not as good as a friend as I used to be, and sadly, I hardly ever find the time to pray - but when I do, I think of you over here, and when I sit quietly rocking Hannah in her room, I think of you and pray that one day, you will all be doing the same thing and praying for those that are still in the middle of the challenge.

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That video always makes me bawl! And Kelly, so did your post. i'm with you, I don't pray nearly as often as I used to, but when I do, I think of you women over here. Betsy is the best buddy anyone could have, and a great mother. You ALL deserve babies of your own, and God willing one day you will have them. i wish i had a crystal ball and could tell you when your struggles will be over, but I don't. So until then, you're in my thoughts, you're in my prayers, and we LOVE you ALL!

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Thank you Betsy. You made me cry. But that isnt hard to do these days.

I never in my WILDEST dreams thought I would be "one of those women." Now I am one of them. Infertility is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with, and learn to live with. This experience has shaped me so much, and I will carry it with me for the rest of my life. Regardless of whether or not I will ever have a child of my own, I think I will always consider myself infertile because of how it has emotionally impacted my life. Does that make any sense???

I CANNOT IMAGINE my life without all of you. You are my family and some of my closest friends. THANK YOU for caring unconditionally and understanding the pain and heartbreak.

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Betsy, I cannot even imagine what you ladies have been through but know that I pray that each one of you will be blessed with a miracle soon.

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*tears*

I love y'all.

I think I might literally be in the loony-bin without you. C-T has been my sanity and my insanity, all at the same time. Does that make any sense?

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Are there any other IF "survivors" who would like to share about their experiences? I think it can be encouraging to those of us still struggling...

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I just wanted to say that although I dont know your heartache's from an infertility perspective, I DO know how it feels to long for a baby of your own. When dh and I were younger he didnt want to have children AT ALL, back then I was fine with it. I didnt think I could talk to him about it, so I just hid my feelings for many years.

But as I got older I started longing for a child more and more. I would sit at work and bawl my eyes out, come home and bawl my eyes out. Every where I looked someone was pregnant/ going on mat leave or inviting me to their babyshower, I had baby on my mind 24/7. The more I thought about it the more I cried. Having a child is something we should ALL be blessed with.

I dont visit the infertility section of the boards often, but I think of EVERYONE often and pray that they will be blessed with a miracle of their own. You ladies deserve the world and you are NOT forgotten.. we wish the best for you all.



Kelly that is so sweet that brought tears to my eyes. Im sure a lot of us mom's have done the same thing. I know I do.

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I have struggled with what to post in this thread. Those of us who remain on the infertility side each have our own different reasons for being there. Some of us struggle with recurrent loss, some are afraid to lose again, some have no answers, and some have answers and no solution. What we all share is the feeling of something missing.

I am speaking only for myself, but it is not just the experience of pregnancy, or a baby that is missing. It is that my future is so murky, my plan for a family is on indefinite hold. It is the feeling that more and more holidays will pass without traditions to hand down, that first birthdays, first steps and first words will never be celebrated, that I will never experience my child's first date, or graduation, or marriage. That no one will ever call me mommy. That I will never have grandchildren. That no one will be there to care for me in my old age. That I will be forgotten, and my time on this earth will have no real meaning, because it all ends the day I pass on.

As miraculous as babies are, it is so much more than not having a child. To be infertile is to be forced to shove your natural maternal instinct so far down into your stomach, if only for self-preservation. To be infertile is to invest time, money, pride, and all of your hope into something that, dammit, impoverished, or malnourished, or drug-addicted, or abusive, or alcoholic women do on a daily basis. To be infertile is to bury your anger in a "plan", so you don't lose your mind. I am angry that I have to struggle this way, and I am angry for all of us here. I know it doesn't help to be angry, but it's the only word for how I feel.

On the infertility side, we have all lost our innocence. In some ways, I resent the use of the word "blessed" because it indicates that somehow we are waiting to be worthy enough of such a blessing, and I simply don't believe that because to believe that would make me hate God. I believe that there is a scientific reason I am losing pregnancies, and if it is fixable, then science will help me find the answer. What is so unfortunate, is that if I am ever able to make it past the first couple of weeks, pregnancy will never be a joyful experience for me. It will be one that is rife with anxiety and fear.

I do not have any advice to give anyone. Despite the fact that I'm supposed to be hopeful because I now have the help of an RE, I don't feel hopeful, I feel on the verge of losing my marbles every single day.

I am editing this to add - this thread has more than 100 views, and only 9 comments. I'm not sure what to make of that, other than people have no idea what to say, or have forgotten what it feels like to be on this side.

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Emily, I am so sorry for everything that you have been through. I think at times we don't know what to say so we just don't say anything at all. {{{Hugs}}} I hope the RE finds answers for you and that each of you on the infertility side will get pregnant soon.

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Can one of the mommies please post this link in the baby section? DJ Baby Clothing Company They sell T-shirts that were specifically made for the Resolve organization and a certain amount of dollars goes back to the organization. I tried posting it in the marketplace but I needed a password

Thanks


Wanted to post Sarah's link to her journey for those of you who haven't read it.
IVF- Documenting the Journey

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Em - All I have is prayers.

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I have never had to struggle with infertility and my heart goes out for anyone that does. Everyone is in my thoughts and prayers.

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Done! The "new stuff" section is under construction for the future

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