ok, I have a situation that is bothering me. I can not sleep next to my dh. I lay in bed wide awake and toss and turn, think, and then I walk around the house. I usually end up going to sleep on the couch in a flash, wake up 3 or 4 hours later and then fall asleep in bed with him. This really really bothers me. We have been married Since April and my kids and I moved in with him in March. What bothers me the most is this is the same cycle I was in with my ex. (However I never slept next to him) I think the situation was much different back then (I hated my ex with a passion) and I slept of the couch for almost 2 years. Why do I do this? Even after an exhausting BD session, I'm wide awake most f the time. What gets me is its messing up my BBT's I know for a fact. Last night I was sleeping good on the couch until 2am when my DD got up. I didn't go back to sleep until almost 5, I usually temp around 6 when I alway wake up to go to the bathroom, and I even took another BFN test at 3am! I have been known as a wonderer since I moved in with my DH and it's starting to disrupt his sleep. Any ideas and suggestions? I tried taking the over the counter sleep aids before TTC and they don't help but make me groggy during the day cause I still don't sleep. Please Help!

__________________
Wtsparkle -going for 3!

Do you think its more of an emotional/psychological issues since you say you hated your ex and also slept on the couch when married to him?
If its a comfort thing, or feeling that DH is in your space do you need a bigger bed?
My guess is that it may be more psychological since you are able to fall asleep easily on the couch, and your body already has that pattern established from when you were with you ex? I am biased since I am a counselor but I think a counselor could help you figure out how to set a new routine and break the old one.

In my case, I don't sleep well when DH is out of town or not in bed with me. I guess we do get used to sleeping certain ways.

Good luck and don't stress too much about it since stress is likely to make it worse.

__________________

I have had terrible sleep patterns most of my life. Sleep walking, talking. You name it.

When DH first moved in with me, he was a floor sleeper. I hated it!!! But we slept together on the floor for a while and moved into the bedroom about 4 months later. Maybe he can move into the sofa area with you. And slowly progress to the bedroom.

Two other things that have helped with my sleep patterns is we removed the clock from the bedroom. So I no longer wake to look at the time. I also use a blind fold. and that prevents me from waking to shadows or any lights from the window.

Also on a side note my ex was also a sofa sleeper. I also hated it. I took it very personal. Well now it turns out he's a sofa sleeper with his new wife too. They bought a sectional and they each sleep on one side of the sofa.





http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/12a710

__________________

hi sparkle...
do you have any respiratory issues, like asthma etc...that make sleeping on the couch more comfortable (or back pain, leg pain, etc)??....maybe only once you get really comfortable, able to sleep there, are you able to fall back asleep in the bed with dh??.....


in my first marriage, my h used to stay up a couple of hours after i went to bed, usually watching tv/playing video games... i HATED it.......you should talk to your hubby & see how he feels about it...can you go to bed with him to snuggle at least til he falls asleep??......

good luck...

__________________
have a happy day :0) Theresa

Sounds like Theresa has a good idea. I always tell my dh that I didn't get married to go to bed alone. So we go together. I hated him working out of town so much b/c we didn't get to sleep together. He'll be working shift now so I'll still be alone sometimes, but he'll be there most of the time. Talk to your dh and see if you two can figure something out.

__________________

Sparkle - I have struggled with insomnia most of my life – even back during childhood, before I knew there was anything wrong. I thought all children stayed in bed awake for a while, and played, and were exhausted when they got home from school. I would go to bed at 9:30pm hoping to get to sleep by 1:30am. Some nights it was 3 or 4am… I was sleeping so little in my early twenties, I was getting sick all the time. I have the flu three times in six weeks. That was when I went to the doctor. I was on Ambien for a year, during which I did a lot of research and tried a lot of things and used the sleeping pills to give myself new habit and retrain my body.

The couch thing, I recognize. You, my dear, have insomnia. It can be triggered by many things, and it’s different in everyone that has it. I think if you take this in a different direction, you might take some of the anxiety off yourself.

I would start doing some research on insomnia, and learn about how to teach yourself to sleep better. It goes beyond the old ‘drink a glass of warm milk’ thing.

Here’s a couple basics:
1) Your bed and bedroom should be for sleep and sex. No talking on the phone or reading or watching tv.
2) Go to bed around the same time each night. Get up around the same time each morning.
3) ***Give yourself a ‘sleep ritual’. One of my secrets was to read a book – a fluff book, that could in no way stimulate my worries. I would get ready for bed, face washed, teeth brushed, turn off almost all of the lights, drink a cup of chamomile tea, read a little on the couch, then go directly to bed. It worked for me – I was single then. Now, I can't sleep if people are making noice and DH in in the bathroom. etc.
4) Make sure you aren’t too hot or too cold. This is a biggie for me (I get hot). Often, by the time I realize I are uncomfortable, I’ve have already kicked over into ‘I’m not going to sleep now’ mode and I’m screwed.

I’ve had another ‘flare up’ in the past year (triggered by Dh and stepkids and stress, and loud people, and lifestyle changes, etc.). I started on Ambien a few months ago to get me back down out of hysterical stage so that I can ‘get back on the wagon’. I liken it to being an alcoholic: I’ll be an insomniac forever. Sometimes, I’m just on the wagon. I never know what’s going to set it off, or what I can get away with, without making it flare up. *hugs* You might check with your doc… Good luck!

__________________

Great advise Stephanie!



http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/12a710

__________________

Thanks you so much for the advise! I am truly looking into my surroundings and my sleep ritual. I have it set in almost stone for my kids, now to get myself somewhere. We are in the process of getting our new house in less than 2 weeks (YEA!!!) and I've already told DH that the tv doesn't go in our room,but in the study. He is agreeable to this. We don't watch the tv in our room at all now, but I will be glad when it is gone. I was totally excited by the fact that I fell asleep with DH last night for about 4 hours and then did the wandering around item. I have decided that I'm obsessing the charting, bbt, etc way to much and have decided to ease up on it. I feel lucky to already have 2 kids, but decided when the time is right another one will come. I'm going to still keep up with everything, just not t the extent and maybe that worry with go away during the night. Heck...you know as I type this I feel like a big dip...my computer! I have never had my computer in my room and guess where it is now? I'm sitting on my bed this very moment. OMG! DUH! I think I will remove it tonight. We have another one in our outside office (just not a/c) to use. Going from a 1,000 sq foot house to a 2,100 sq ft is going to be a blessing for things like this! THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL THE INPUT! (I'll quite blabbing now)

__________________
Wtsparkle -going for 3!

Having a TV in the room is bad sexual Feng Shui! Couples with TV in their rooms have sex 50% less than couples with no TV in their room.

Like I'm one to talk...I lost that TV battle when the World Cup started!



http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/12a710

__________________

Depends on what your watching

__________________

ROFLMAO@Cass!

__________________