any time...

Jer- I assume that is your son in the pisture???? TOO CUTE!!!

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Marie, I hope you dont take this the wrong way but if you absoulutely know it is right than it will still be right a couple of years from now when you guys are married and you are done with school. My husband sold his business a couple of years back and went back to school to get his teaching credentials, anyway I was really anxious to get pg then so that there was not a big age gap with my kids but dh didnt want to worry about insurance or a job while I was pg and I am so glad I waited. Pregancy is a very emotional time to begin with without adding any undue outside stess to the situation.

If you guys are ready to committ then I think that is great. I was only with Dh for 6mths before we got engaged and we would have done so even sooner if we could of.

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haha...no. my nephew.

Well....we officially began trying last night...and we will try again Tuesday when we're together. We both have good insurance and good jobs...so that is covered on both parts.

Also, I think the proposal is almost here. We were walking at riverwalk here in augusta yesterday and he got really quiet so I asked what he was thinking about...he looked at me and said "asking you to marry me." So, I feel it's going to happen soon.

I know he is ready...I think he's just trying to wait it out a little for whatever reason...or maybe he's waiting to get a ring. We've already talked about the date in which we want to get married, where we want the wedding and reception and all the other little details. So we have everything but the proposal.

He's not the type to propose without a ring. So, I figure maybe that's what he's waiting for. Either that or he's waiting until I'm not expecting it.

Either way, I know we're both ready. There's no doubt about that.

When he told you what he was thinking about I would have said yes. That sounded like a proposal to me. Good luck

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Oh I just re-read what you wrote about not proposing with out a ring.

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I'm with Marci on that one! I would have said " So were you asking?" and then maybe he would have told you #1- yes! or #2 what he was waiting on! But that is just me!!!!

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Okay...so, no proposal.

He talked about it only about 150 times...but no proposal. He said he's going to soon...he just doesn't want me to be expecting it.

I wanted to wring his neck and say "What the hades are you waiting for?!?!"

On the up and up though we did have plenty of time to spend together and BD. We also had a nice long relaxing walk on the beach...so, the trip was nice overall. I just wish there had been a proposal.

I'm still hopeful of there being one soon.

I think it's the ring. I think he's waiting either to get the money or time to buy the ring...or to have it resized. We'll see I guess.

Wish me luck you guys...I'm in the 2ww.

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Lost~ I wish I could have some words with your dh. No offense to you. But I would have married my dh if he would have got my ring from the bubble gum machine. Sometimes men just don't get it. I hope that's the only reason. Best wishes to you.

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Well...I'm pretty sure that's the only reason. Everyone who knows us tells me that I'm a lucky girl and that they can tell he's so in love with me. So...I'm confident it will come. If it takes a while...it just takes a while.

Marie~ Was that you?

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..

HaHa...yea it was me. Sorry about that, lol.

I'm going out of my mind!!!

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Marie - how long have you and your boyfriend been dating, exactly? It sounds like he is not ready, for whatever reason. But hey, me and my DH dated for 11 years before we got married! So just because he does not want to get married now doesn't mean he is not interested in you. In fact, if you push the issue too hard you just may scare him off. Men, go figure.

I really sense everyone trying to tip toe around the issue - but it sounds like you want it DESPERATELY and he does not, or at the least, not now. Why is it so important for you to get married immediately? Especially to this man? And even more so, why do you want a baby with someone who is not even sure they want to spend their life with you?

You are a loveable girl. Please don't get wrapped up in the fantasy of husband, house, and baby - yet. It's a great fantasy that can be a wonderful reality - but an ABSOLUTE nightmare if with the wrong person.

I think your anxiety around the entire issue is because you know deep inside that you want this and he does not. When the time is right, there should not be all of this stress, anxiety, and fuss. For either of you. Maybe you all would do better if you just focused on your relationship here and now, not just marriage, etc. If you strengthen and make beautiful what you have now, then marriage is bound to happen.

I only say all this because I have also read your myspace blogs and he seems to cause you so much grief, and your relationship (or your feelings around the relationship) seems to be in turmoil often. Or maybe you are causing yourself the grief? I know how we girls can overanalyze all things out of our control. You just seem like a nice girl, and I hate to see you torture yourself. Having a baby is a HUGE commitment, much bigger than marriage, a boyfriend, than ANYTHING you will ever do. My advice (and you can tell me to shove it ) is to navigate your life into calmer waters before ttc. And by calmer, I don't mean marriage. Just peace and maturity.

Best wishes and I send prayers for your relationship! You deserve the best.

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~Meagan
Mama to 3
DS Rolando - 12
DD Soleil - 7
DS Joaquin - 10 months

Hey Meagan...thanks! I understand and appreciate the advice...I think part of it is like you said though...I'm causing myself the grief...so, there goes.

Marie, be careful. Sometimes, you just have to fish or cut bait. There are certain things that you can't wait on someone else's time. I think you need to say all the things to him that you are writing here. Ask him outright why he hasn't proposed. Or just ask him to marry you. If you fear that he'll say no, then, well...that's a whole other issue worth investigating. But wondering what he's waiting for must be driving you crazy. Some men will string women along w/ promises of marriage that never come just in case some "better" prospect might come along--that is not to say that this is the case. He may have a perfectly good reason, but I think he owes you an explanation if only because you're now in a situation where a baby is a likely possibility.

You don't have to answer, but does he know that you are ttc? If so, than what justification does he have for not wanting to get married? Have you discussed what will happen if you do conceive? How you two will take care of this baby (esp. if he doesn't hurry up and marry you)? I realize that in this day and age, it's not always love, marriage, and then the baby carriage, but there should logically be a strong commitment from both parties before purposely bringing a child into this crazy world. If he doesn't know you're ttc, I think you're treading really scary waters here.

I'm sorry if I offend you with my advice. I certainly don't mean to. I just hate to see you or any other girl end up hurt by empty promises. But I know, you clearly see you and your SO as being different, and you may very well be. But it's so easy to get caught up in our heart's greatest desires only to find out too late that what we ended up with was not what we had thought. I hope and pray that this man loves you and truly plans to marry you. Just make sure that when he says he wants to marry you or even just be with you forever, that he isn't muttering under his breath "some time in the far future..." Sometimes, you want something so badly that you convince yourself it's in your grasp... Best wishes to you, hon.

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Well...thanks you guys for all of your advice. I found something out that I was going to try to keep out of the forum...but you all are very nice and supportive so I have decided to let everyone know.

He's married.

This is something that came as a complete shock to me...I'm still in shock. Considering that YES to answer your questions, he did know we were TTC and he was praying for it more than myself I think...he is married. I found out Sunday night...so that would be the reason he was waiting to propose.

This wasn't the best news to get in the 2ww. I don't know what to do now...we didn't talk for three days beccause I left him a message telling him it was over. He texted me today telling me that he loves me and hopes we can work something out.

I won't be the other woman. I wouldn't be with him even if he did leave his wife because I would never be able to trust that he wouldn't do it again.

I don't know how I let myself get into this situation.

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