I met a guy a few months ago and to cut a long story short we seem to hit it off great; then unfortunately he had a family breavement and since then we seem to have grown apart. I keep thinking he is with someone else.

Although my heart tells me he is not, as it does not seem physically possible for him to be stretched so much by family friends and a new relationship.

He went away a week ago to down time from everyone and last week took his son on holiday. He has been back 2 days now and still hasn't contacted me in over 2 weeks. My heart is breaking but I refuse to call him, as it seems that I am doing all the chasing and seeing if he is ok at times he doesn't reply to my text messages or phone calls.


Is this over or should I try one more time? I dont want to feel like I am becming a pest to him but I feel like he doesn't want to contact me but my emotions are all over the place as before this happened he was telling me how wonderful I was is this just pillow talk?

I want to believe in him because he has been through so much this year with being the sole carer for his son until Feb then having o give him back to his son's mother after she got herself organised then looking after his sick relative until they passed away and now having to deal with the aftermath I know it is going/is difficult but is asking to be contacted being selfish or should I give him space?

Please help. I feel so lost and no one understands me

There seems to be more than meets the eye, I would gracefully bow out if it was me.

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Ebony-my theory is that when you are with "the one" everything comes pretty easy-you are made to feel wanted and loved. The fact that you feel you are a "pest" to this man is not a good sign. I would try to detach from him and focus on your friends and family. If its meant to be, he will come back and then you can have a conversation of how this isn't really working for you and what you need/expect from a relationship. Good luck with whatever you decide!

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Ebony~ I think the fact that you are questioning things at all should definitely raise a "red flag." Trust yourself when you are listening to all those qestions in your head, and try not to make any excuses for him. ....how's that saying go? something about letting the bird fly away, if he comes back on his own, he is yours to keep...if he doesn't come back then he wasn't yours to begin with...? I probably butchered that...lol... you deserve someone who cares about you no matter what is going on in their life! You'll find him!

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It seems as though he would of contacted you by now, IDK guys can be so weird sometimes, Unlike women who usually need closure to know if a relationship is over or not, a Man on the other hand may not always feel that they need that and they may think that by not calling the women anymore that the women will automatically know that they dont want anything to do with them anymore. If I were you, I would call him just so you can get some closure, dont beat yourself up over this, If calling him is going to make you feel better, then I say go for it!!

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Well I needed to know if I had done somthing wrong to make him act this way so I rang him and when I heard his voice I ached with pain I asked him why he was ignoring me ad he said that he was not ignoring me so I asked why didhe not answer my text messages or phone calls and he went quiet.

I decided to take the bull by the horns and ask out right "do you want me in your life or not do you want me to be a part of your life if ot then I will walke away" at this point his voice changed as if he was scared at this point. I said to him "wel I guess you have answered my questions by not asnwerig me you cannot even answer me when I am asking you a question" he paused and said "that is because I dont know where you got all this from I do not understand why you are saying these things. I repeated the question to him " do you want me in your life" and he said to me " what do you want?" my blood started to boil at this point and I told him I neded to get off the phone as I was emtionally drained and could not talk anymore and that I would call him later in the week he was saying something to me but I hung the phone up - by Wednesday I had calmed down a bit well enough to talk to him again I said to him "I sent you text messgaes and calls and he that he never replied" - he said "I know I got all your texts and missed calls" so I asked him why did you not reply to me then I said one of th messages and I remembered it word for word I asked you to call me because I needed to talk to you but you never replied and out of all the messages I sent you this was the one time I really needed you" agai I was left with silence inside I was rejoycing in the fact that I had exposed his ays but at the same time I was hurting as I would never had wished things to go this way.
He said thathe had time to think beng away but his feelings for me and how he feels about me has not changed only what he wants to do with his career and I felt still that I was not a part of it.

It has been 3 weeks now now and he has not called me after tellingme he would and I have not called him I know everyone says your better off out but it hurts it really hurts here has not been a day that I do not cry my emotions are so weak now as silly as it sounds I wear my mascara to work soley so I do not cry in the office at work I feel like I am in mourning as the pain just will not go away and it creeps up on you. I know time is a healer but I feel we could have been good together maybe if he did not have a breavement in his life.

Here I go again sorry the water works have started again I never thought this type of break up could hurt so much.

My head is trying to tell my heart its over but my heart just keeps hurting ;-(

Ebony-I'm sorry your heart is hurting. It sounds like to me you are mourning what you hoped he would be & what you dreamed for your future together. It is always hard letting go of someone that we care about & it will take time. Make sure that you seperate the truth from your dreams. This guy doesn't deserve you. He is not respecting you as a women. I know deep inside you are a strong women that demands way more from a man, take some time & reconnect with that women. You don't need a man to make your life complete & you definitely don't need a man that doesn't cherish you for the wonderful women you are. Chin up girly! I hope you heartache heals soon.

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