Lindy- honey whatever it is God can take care of it. Lean on him at this time! I too have been married for twelve years and things happen and there are ups and extrememly low downs. We would NEVER judge you only support you!! BIG HUGS sweetheart! I too am an emotional eater and if that is what you need to get you through this....Will gaining more weight help you? No it will make you feel worse so try really hard to focus on the problem not food. I do pray everyday allday and will pray for you out loud right now. I pray for you some comfort and wisdom. I barely know you but I love you and hate to see you upset.

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Cassie I am SOOOOOOOOO proud of you! Now workout before you get Rhylee so you will feel DOUBLEY good! You are doing great. Don't be so emotional just know that we are pushing you a bit. We all need it once in awhile. Secretly I think you wanted it. Think about how great it will be when this is a thing of the past. I don't know about you but I wasn't born with good genes like some of the girls on here. My whole family and dh's whole family are extremely overweight. I have to decide and I did about ten years ago to not be like them. I am the only NORMAL sized person in my family and when I am around them it makes me sad for them. They all hate how they look and I wish I had the magic words for them. My granny works out EVERYDAY and has lost a whole person. She wears a 14 which is GREAT when she used to wear a 22! She walks 4 miles a day EVERYDAY and has had both knees replaced and has a fallen arch so if SHE can do it we all can!

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Karen - THANK YOU! I secretly did need a push and I WILL exercise before I get Rhylee. Last night I also picked up the dumbbells after the elliptical and lifted them straight out from my side about 10 times. Your story sounded SO much like mine, the whole family overweight and struggling and I WANT to be different!!! So I will work hard.

I'm not sure if Rhylee will struggle or not...dh has a skinny gene on both sides of his family! MOST of the women are TINY. I pray pray pray that she gets it, not that it makes any of them any happier than I, but one less thing to deal with I guess.

My coworker just came ask if I wanted doughnuts... I EASILY said no! One downfall about my job is pretty much DAILY vendors bring in food. Doughnuts, pig in the blanket (Calachies), hog head cheese, boudin, cracklin, breakfast sandwhiches...and they don't just put it in the kitchen, they will come to your office and ask if you want some. LOL!!! I'm pretty good at saying no though.

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Cassie - Kudos to you for saying no - I would have a hard time turning down the free food!!! We get bagels here every Monday and pizza every Friday. I think I'm going to allow myself one slice today and get a salad to go with it.

I made it to the gym last night even though DH wussed out on me and I had to go by myself! I did 30 minutes on the elliptical and I was dying... so out of shape I'm glad I went since we ate Chinese leftovers for dinner. I weighed myself on the scale there and with my clothes and sneakers I was exactly 160. What day do you guys think is the best weekly weigh in day - I have to select it for WW Online. I was thinking maybe Fridays that way if I have a good week I can treat myself on the weekends.

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Irene-WTG on getting on the elliptical, you can do it!! Most us would weigh and change tickers on Friday. I am a weigh-everyday- kind of girl, lol.

Cassie-Dh and I were just talking last night about Avery and hoping that she doesn't struggle with weight issues. He is already worried that she eats too much!! Me and my side of the family have fast metabolisms, but Dh's side struggles a bit.

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Bina - me too although I will only post weekly. I meant to weight myself this morning nekkid so I would feel like I already lost haha!

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Bina - Rhylee could eat constantly, I too hope this is NOT an indication of anything!!!!

Irene - I think Thursdays would be good for you...that way if you did good and you feel you need a treat, since the pizza is coming you can do like you said, have a slice and a salad!

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Cassie - Luckily, I can still have a slice of pizza and stay within my points for the day... I just have to stop myself from grabbing 2!! I think I'll just do Friday so if I end up using most of my flex points on the weekends that will hopefully make me be good the rest of the week

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Screw it. Seriously. Screw it. UGGGGG. I did pretty good last night. Had a salad and a grilled chicken breast. And then finished the cake. This AM, boss(dad) brought donuts. I tried to walk last night, started out slow near the house and my knee on my injured leg started KILLING me! WTH?

Lindy- Oh, hunny I'm sorry. Don't feel guilty and beat yourself up. We WILL stumble. Look, you can't emotion-eat all the time, but at least when you REALLY need some help, you aren't downing a bottle of jack or shoving some blow up your nose. k? I really hope you two work things out. If you need somewhere to vent, you can always PM me. Hang in there, girl.

Melissa- So, you mean your doc is stuck on being hung up on "you need to lose weight?" Maybe you need another doc?

Hello to everyone else! I'm just too far behind here.

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LOL Karen. I know, I'm being bad. Too 'small' for my britches...I'll gain a pound and then get smacked back to earth.

I'm sorry the few who feel so down. Beating yourself up is NOT helpful to an emotional eater, though. I know it's easy to say that. I still do it sometimes if I slip. I wish I knew what to tell y'all to make it feel better. Keep at it.

Lindy ~ I'm sorry you're having such troubles with DH. I certainly know how that goes. I've been having mega troubles with mine for almost a year and a half now. I know how it can suck the life out of you. And not sleeping, and all that. I'm so sorry {hug}.

I made chicken cacciatori last night, but only served the rice and garlic bread to DH. I just had the chicken part. And was totally satisfied. That's usually how I do it.

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Claire - at least now that you've finished the cake its gone from the house and you can't eat anymore! Now the trick is to make sure that you don't have anything like that around. Try to take it easy until your leg is better... you don't want to slow down the recovery.

Steph - I give you major props for taking this time when many others would have been beaten down and doing something to improve your life.

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Awww...gosh, you say the sweetest stuff, you know that? Thank you.

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Ok, so here is the story. Well I am not going to give the exact details on this portion bc of the nature of the thing that happend. He isn't cheating, thank the Lord for that. I caught him doing something that I thought he wasn't doing. I don't know if it is his age or what but I....................I don't know. I love him but it doesn't feel the same after last night. I know that trust was lost. I told him he needed to call his brother last night and ask him for advice bc his brother has been married 7 years. Long story short he says he is going to quit, but he has said that before. I tell you what I really had a long talk with God last night. Last night DH listened from 9-12:45 without saying much. So anyway, I think if he doesn't change and show improvement we are seeking a counsler bc I don't want a Divorce. I took my vows seriously, and I knew the first year would be the hardest. I am trying to be a better wife and mother. I think the mother part has worked out better than the wife part. Maybe I am just too judgemental. All I have been doing is . I don't cry. I am not a crying person anymore. I really appreciate everyone helping me through this. Ok enough about me I will respond to everyone else now!

Cartersmom- Oh, thank you so much. I really appreciate your prayers. I cried. I feel like an emotional wreck right now. Thank you again.

Gem- How do you make it through when it comes down to you have had problems for so long?

Claire- I guess your right about the booze and the blow! I actually laughed at that. I am just trying to deal with this right now. Thank you. You are a wonderful friend.

momof3- I resisted for over an hour before I ate. I felt guilty the whole time. I only ate 1.5 cups of dirty rice and drank a small dr pepper.

I really appreciate all of you girls. I don't have any friends here so it is nice to go to a place where I have so many friends. So far today has been good, I have only eaten a handful (literally) of Life cereal and a sm glass of V-8 Splash juice. I don't have an appetite today. I may not be able to make it to the gym today though. I will be online all day today so I will talk to yall later. Thanks again.

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Lindy
"Let's kick some fat butt!"

Lindy- Oh, hun-Are you telling me that your big emotional binge was 1.5 Cup of rice and a Dr. Pepper? Girl, no worries! I thought you ate like a whole carton of ice cream or something (I have) I am hoping you get things worked out with DH. Good for you for taking your vows seriously. Yes the first year is the hardest....well, for us it was. But vowing to keep the vows and work it out is what it takes.

Steph-You are my hero.....have I said that enough? I want a blinkie that says : The Steph Fan Club! as long as I can be prez!

Irene-Thanks! You are right. At least the stuff is gone now!

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Lindy ~ Honestly, I have no idea what has kept me going. Sometimes just a refusal to roll over and die. Sometimes fear and being frozen in my tracks. I know I'm a true believer. But sometimes I get so down. There was a point last year before I became more disconnected and got numb (survival, I think it's reversible), where my guts actually physically hurt so much -not like having an ulcer or something like that, it was one of those emotional hurting things - anyway, it was so unbearable at times that I'd actually have thought where I'd wonder if gouging around in there with a kitchen knife would hurt less, or deaden the pain. Now, don't anyone do that. I'm just saying I wondered about it. The only thing that could ease it was him. Codependent mess? You bet your a$$. Anything I could do about it? Nope. Needed to stop enough pain frequently enough to keep taking breaths. I needed every drop of my strength to breathe and take each step. I know nothing about success, so don't go by my words; I wouldn't presume to tell anyone what I've done is right or wrong for me or anyone else. I know I am a fight-to-the-death kinda girl. Sometimes to my own detriment. In a few years, I might be in a position to give advise. By the time my book comes out, I'll know probably. I'll do two drafts of the 'what happens if your husband does everything he can to ruin your lives?' chapter. Don't know which one will end up in the book. But right now, all I can say is things are -maybe- starting to look up just a little. We've got a LONG LONG LONG LONG way to go. Sometimes I get REALLY depressed; and he's only been home a week. I'm skeptical. I'm hesitant and suspicious. I'm irritable. I have no vision of the future. He...seems to be different, more clear, and making progress. Some of the same old crap is still there. I'm treading lightly in my head, not in fear, but to not throw myself into a blind belief that he's 'all better' and this isn't going to be hard as hell. We need professional help for certain, together and apart. Hopefully, that will come very soon. I'm babbling. Sorry. I wish I could give you a magic formula. I don't know. I won't know for quite a while about the outcome of my choices; all I know is I don't think I could have done anything else. Still feel like a dope sometimes about what I've done or not done when I'm down or angry, but when clarity comes, I couldn't have done anything but what I have, right or wrong. I wish you the best of luck and strength in your journey. PM me anytime.

Claire ~ Thanks. I've fought for a lot of things for a long time; the weight is one of them. If anything I do will help someone else strike gold, I'll run around talking about it forever! If I ever do have my own fan club, you may be the president. LOL!

BTW, I forgot to tell y'all: I bumped my pushups up to 8 last night, and feel fine. YAY! In a week or a week and a half, I can probably be doing 10 nightly, and 10 that one night a few weeks ago nearly killed me; I couldn't move for 4 days... Yay me! I need a push-up queen blinkie.

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