Jo--The problem is, I keep craving GOOD beer! LOL! I lived in Ireland for a year, and after that I became sort of a dark beer snob; I really want a Smithwicks or a pint of Guiness. Plus, I am pretty sure it is more than the taste that I am craving! I quit smoking last September, obviously quit drinking the day we found out about the baby, and since I am unable to exercise as much as I like, I just miss having some sort of a vice for my stress. Still; I may finally be desperate enough for that O'Douls! My mom owns a bar, and she can order in a LOT of NA beers, so I just asked a few days ago for her to get the list and see if there are any dark or amber brews available. That would be nice.

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Krissy

Geez, Jo. I just looked at your ticker; you are getting SO close! Our bellies look so similar, I keep forgetting how much further along you are!

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Krissy

Krissy-I crave a beer at times too. DH and I both love beer and at times its been hard watching him chill out in the back yard with his beer this summer. I also was use to coming home after a crappy day of work and having a beer or glass of wine to unwind for the day. It is hard to find other ways of dealing with your stress when you can't just run to the fridge! I have heard too that beer is supposed to help bring in breast milk.

I shouldn't complain but I'm so bored at work. I switched positions and now it is really easy. Which is nice as I get to play a lot on the computer and do baby stuff but it makes for a long Friday afternoon!

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I've had a few cravings for wine. The grocery sells a really good non-alcoholic wine called Fre. Ya'll should try it! Its actually seemed like the real thing when other people are drinking.

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Krissy- I KNOW!! I fluctuate between being so excited to meet this little man and then I get petrified of how little time DH and I have just the two of us. We still have to sign up for childbirth classes and the hospital tour! Slackers, I know...

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I hear you on being petrified. Our house is a construction zone, and now DH is talking about how he wants to rip down one of the walls in the nursery to re-do the plaster! I told him if he rips down that wall I will divorce him. I just cannot handle another house project, especially in the nursery!! I love that he wants everything to be perfect, but at this point he has started so many projects that I just don't know how everything can possibly get done! And I want to figure out the daycare situation, but we are still waiting to hear back about DH's raise (maybe today?)
We did sign up for childbirth classes in August. With my schedule, it just doesnt work out to do them any later than that. I also signed up for a breastfeeding class in August. I have no idea what exactly that entails, but it is two hours and it was free.
Oh, and my sister is throwing me a shower July 31st (its a thurs. night). My doctor doesnt want me traveling more than 2 hrs away after 31 weeks, so she decided to just move up the shower. It sounds like fun; she is having it from 7-9 (my friends are drinkers, so they will love an excuse to come out and have a drink on a Thursday night after work), and she is serving all blue drinks, and having all kinds of desserts and chocolate dipped fruits! YUM! My mom is going to make flourless chocolate torte and pineapple dipped in white chocolate and rolled in coconut! Im not sure what other desserts, but she said there were going to be a bunch! What a fun idea; plus, she didn't really feel like serving dinner, this way people can come after they have eaten and have some dessert and a drink. I still need to go to BRU and finish up our registry. We also registered at Target, since there is not a BRU in my hometown. Sorry this got so long; I guess I got excited!

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Krissy

I can't wait for our showers either. My friends are drinkers and we're doing it on a Saturday afternoon so afterwards we can hang out, chat and they can of course have some cocktails.

Krissy-We have about a thousand different projects started too. I'm hoping to at least get the closet painted this weekend and then we need to put up new shelving in there. Then the baby's room will essentially be ready for when the furniture comes. I've given up hope that the bathroom will ever get finished. Thank god we have 2 full bathrooms!

Ok question about feeling the first kicks. I'm not sure if I've felt those yet or not. But earlier in the week for a couple of days I would get these quick little jabs off on my left side. It wasn't painful just sort of those "oh wow". And I'm wondering if those were the baby. I'm getting anxious to start feeling movement rather than the flutters and I know they'll be asking me at my OB appt. Friday. Don't want to look like a dumbass and say "well may be".

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Heidi--I would say that was the baby. However, when I was worried about it, I told my doctor that I wasnt sure, and he offered some real assurance. Just be honest; tell them what you felt, and that your not "positive" it was the baby. Im sure they will tell you it was. He had to kick me pretty hard before I felt comfortable saying it was FOR SURE the baby, so I know what you are going through. If you've never felt it before, then it's the baby. Think about it; you've been alive for a long time, if it were gas or something you would have felt it before! Pretty soon there will be no question. Now, Ely kicks me so hard it almost takes my breath away. I am a little concerned about how it is going to feel when he gets even bigger! Also, I could set a timer by him. He kicks at the same times every day. At first, I mostly felt him when I was laying down (on my left side) to fall asleep. But now he goes constantly. I think he already needs ritalin In all seriousness, though, it is my favorite part of being preggo, so I hope she starts kicking you harder soon!

Amber and Jen--Are you feeling those little kicks, yet?

Well, this morning my mom offered to pay for the first 6 months of daycare at Montisorri. I cried like a baby! I feel really weird accepting it; especially since we both have good jobs and should be able to pay for it ourselves. We are not accustomed to accepting money, but when we bought this huge house to fix up, we assumed that we would be broke for a year or two, and we weren't planning on this pregnancy. We weren't going to even start "trying" until this winter, at which point we would be a lot better off. My tenure vote is this year, and if I get it (which I should), it means a huge pay increase, so we just need to get from here to there. It is so nice of her; especially since they just lost about everything in the flood, and the city is going to make them move out of the flood zone. I am going to cry again just thinking about it!

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Krissy

Hey everyone!

I'm in a great mood this morning!

Heidi - I think it sounds like you felt the first kick! Congrats!

Krissy - I felt Jackson kick for the first time yesterday!! Its's kinda funny - I was about to get a bikini wax & I was in my usual state of thinking "why do I do this to myself" & he kicked right before she started!! He kicked several times last night & this AM. I love it!! DH hasn't felt it yet, but I am paying attention & hope he will soon!
That is so great of your mom to offer to pay for daycare! I'm sure thats a big relief & one less thing you have to worry about now.

Jo - I understand where you are coming from. I am scared DH & I will lose something with all the life changes, but I am really hoping it just makes everything better & stronger.

Our couples shower will be on a Saturday night in early Aug. Our friends are drinkers & DH is looking forward to going out with everyone or having an after party at our place. I am really looking forward to it. I'll be bringing my non-alcoholic wine so I can pretend!

I just ordered the furniture for the nursery. We should get it in a couple weeks. We are going to pick out the glider fabric later today. I feel like things are finally moving along!

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Jen & Krissy-Thanks. I agree that it was likely the baby as those were weird pains that I've never had before. I'm trying hard to pay attention at this point since things should start happening.

Krissy-I always feel weird about taking money too as we live comfortable but I know with the baby, day care etc. that is all about to change. So when my grandma and mom both said they were helping with furniture I didn't turn them down. And I would definitely be grateful if someone wanted to initially help out with day care. That's really nice of your mom.

I forgot to mention this as well and would like people's opinions. The only family in the area are DH's sister and grandma. Grandma has been saying for the past several years she is ready to sell the house and move north of here with DH's parents. She seems to finally be serious and wants out of the house before winter. Well this is sort of going to leave his sister homeless unless she goes too. I don't really feel sorry for her because she has lived with the family all these years, job hops and hasn't really had to take care of herself. They all have spent thousands of dollars bailing her out with cars and paying off credit cards. She blames everyone else for her problems. She works in a factory and makes hardly any money. It won't be enough for an apartment with her other expenses.

DH thinks we should allow her to move in with us for 6 months. I told him no because she wouldn't be able to pay us anything, therefore we can't afford a 3rd adult living here with the baby expenses. Also its not going to help her save money as she already has that arrangement living with grandma. He rationalizes it by saying she can help me with the baby. But I told him if I need help we can call her for a break and secondly what help is it going to be when we will all be working full time. To me it's just another person in the way. Plus we live in a small 3 bedroom ranch, which means there is no privacy.

I told him we are starting our family finally and I don't want anyone (my family included) living with us. He disagrees and doesn't think that should be a reason. I really don't feel sorry for her as she has been given many opporunities over the years to figure out what to do with herself, would of had college paid for if she stuck with it etc. Instead she wants to be lazy and blame everyone for not being able to make it on her own. She knew this day would be coming and I think at her age of 27 it's sink or swim time. I know DH would never do this against my wishes but I fear that SIL will put in a bad position by asking and I'm going to be stuck being the bad again. How do I better explain this so DH understands in male terms?

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Krissy- that's wonderful that your parents are willing and able to help you for a while with childcare expenses. As a soon-to-be parent I am beginning to already realize that helping your children out is never seen as a hassle, it's part of your lifelong responsibility. My parents have always been great at helping out when needed.

Heidi- first off, congrats on feeling your daughter! It is such a wonderful feeling. Dominic is getting to the point where I can see my tummy move anytime he moves. It is amazing how fast they grow! I am with Krissy-there are 5-6 times throughout the day when he will move around. I wrote them down to see if he keeps the same schedule once he's out.
As for the SIL, that sucks. My brother is kind of the same way. He had the opportunity to go to college just like my sister and I and said it wasn't for him. He went to school for air conditioning and has a job at a local appliance store installing and repairing appliances. Not much money in that. He has a crappy, run-down money pit of a house that he is trying to fix up. He is barely making ends meet. But if we give him any money at all he will blow it before the day is over. Cigs, beer, whatever, but never saving it. My folks had to cut him from all support for a little over a year before he started to do for himself. Not saying that he is successful by any means, but at least he doesn't ask for money everytime we talk to him. I say just try talking to DH and let him know that sometimes tough love is the best thing you can do for someone. Like you said, it's sink or swim time. She's old enough to rebound.

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Jen--Congrats on feeling those first kicks!! I think that DH was able to feel Ely about 3 weeks after I first felt him, but even then it was hard because I couldnt predict when he was going to kick. Finally, we just started sitting with his hand on my belly after dinner, and eventually the baby moved. Of course, now he moves all the time.

Jo--I can see the baby move, too! It surprises me that I can see it so early, but then again, this is one huge baby My belly gets lopsided a lot; Can you see little feet or anything yet? I can't make out actual body parts, but when he moves from one side to the other my belly moves, too. IT IS SO WIERD! I guess I really am all baby!

Heidi--(Sorry, I know this is going to be a long response) I would ABSOLUTELY say NO! It's only my opinion, but if you continue to help out someone who is clearly old enough to help themselves, they will never learn anything. After all, wouldn't you rather just live off of people than work hard? As long as she has people enabling her, She isn't going to realize that she needs to get it together. I teach at a community college, and have a lot of students who fit into this "nothings my fault; the world has been cruel to me" category. Grow up; the world has sh** on everyone, but everyone else has to still get it together at some point, what makes you so special! Plus, I would just tell DH that it is too much pressure and stress to put on your relationship. Having a baby is going to change things dramatically, and cause a lot of stress (even though it is good stress). Adding another "child" to the situation is only going to make it harder; even if she can help babysit sometimes. Plus, it puts you in the middle of a family situation that shouldn't be your problem. What if something happens with her living there, and you think it was wrong but DH doesn't? Just another thing to fight about. If it were me; I would tell DH that I have waited my whole life to be a mother, and the first few months of our childs life are a precious time that ONLY COMES ONCE--I don't want to share that time with my SIL in our house. Again, only my opinion, but if I were in your position I would have no problem looking like a b****. You have to stand up for yourself.

I went to BRU and finished my registry today, and bought some REALLY cute stuff on clearance. He won't be able to wear it until next summer, but it was too cute to pass up. What is everyone doing about breast pumps. I heard that sometimes insurance will help pay; anyone checked into it?

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Krissy

Jo-It is amazing to continue to watch my body change and feel the different things. I cna't wait til I feel it more often and regularly!
His family keeps saying that they are going to cut her off yet they don't. She has only come to us once for money but of course she couldn't even keep up her end of the bargain to repay $150. I feel the same about tough love and needing to stop. For some reason his mom has a hard time. She's not a very strong person in general and I don't think she handles the guilt trip SIL puts on her when they do try to cut her off. So instead of feeling her wrath they enable her more.

Krissy-THANK YOU. I feel the same way and second everything you said. We have worked hard for what we have. No one has given us hand outs. We've had our share of ahrd times and crap happen and no one has come to our aid or rescue. And in fact his parents do very little for us becuase they spend all their money supporting her. I pretty much told DH that about us starting a family and we've been waiting for this day for over 2 years and I'm not about to share it with SIL. I think it is hard for him as a guy to also understand the privacy issues that come with being a mother and trying to breast feed and all the other stuff in general. I also had not thought about if there are disagreements how that will effect us. Which is a good point to bring up. Not that I'm a clean freak by any means but she does nothing to help at grandma's house and feels its not her responsibility since she works full time. That house is gross and I will not live in filth!

Jen-Yeah to feeling Jackson. I'm really digging this part og being pg and can't wait to feel more of the movements.

Thanks as usual for input. I sometimes just want to make sure I'm not going to far.

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Heidi-I just have give my two cents on the SIL situation. First off, if she is a freeloader used to relying on everyone then once she moves in there is no way she is going to leave within 6 months. And all the issues relating to her stepping up and being responsible aside, when the baby comes you won't want ANYONE living with you for 6 months. You'll be up all hours of the night, you'll be half-naked most of the time if you are BF or pumping, emotional, exhausted, etc. You will want the freedom to be yourself, and you won't want another person in your space, especially if it is a small one. If your Dh had an idea of what it is like with a newborn in the house, he wouldn't think it was a good idea either. Sorry if I am sounding harsh, but I think it is a bad idea especially if you are already against it. And I think Dh will thank you for putting your foot down when the baby comes. Plus you'll really want that bonding time with Dh and the baby. Maybe if Dh spoke to his guy friends who have kids, it would help a little?

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Heidi- You have every right to say no, and no matter how much anyone may think you're a B***** for it, you're not. For starters, 2 adult women in one house is asking for problems. Especially when its somebody you can't tell to go screw themselves. You can get rid of a roommate, but you'll be connected to this woman the rest of your life. As if it wouldn't be bad enough to live with a person having all these qualities, combining that with a newborn? No way. Nuh-uh. You and dh will be stressed, tired, irritable, and any and everything else imaginable for the first few months. That situation is a bomb ready to go off. I have a brother who is alot like this and his gf isn't any better. My dh and I both REFUSE to ever let them live with us. We would take my nephew but they are S.O.L. She is family and all but she is a big girl who may struggle but can take care of her seat. If he is so set on helping, buy her some Ramen noodles, and cereal when she gets hungry. She'll learn to budget and live at her means eventually. Saying no doesn't make you a bad guy in the least. If anything you're probably doing her 20x better than anyone enabling this behavior. Sorry that was so long....

Krissy- A few weeks ago I felt the flutters a little but now I FEEL him. It's like when you hold a water balloon and feel the water "swoosh" when he rolls. then there are the little taps. I have also noticed he likes to lay front to back. Like his head/but(no clue which!) is directly below my right hooter and his other end is on what I believe is my kidney. That side is just a little bit bigger than the other. Then he'll go to my left. But usually he seems to stay on the right. It's really odd. I like it.

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Snowie- where are you?? I know you are getting close. Are you the next one up after Cole?

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