Krissy and Sarah-Avery was breech at my 20week u/s and I felt pretty sad at the idea of needing a c-section (even though I know it wasn't a given at that point because it was still realy early) so I think it is normal to mourn the loss of not experiencing the birth in the way you always imagined and hoped. One of my closest friends labored at home for 2 days, and had prepared for a homebirth but had to go to the hospital and have a c-section in the end. She is due with her second in a few weeks and we are all really HOPING she gets to have her homebirth this time. It is really quite amazing how "perfect" everything has to be for her midwife to allow a homebirth to happen, which I think is a good thing for everyone's health. I've really learned so much about it all from her.

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Jen--you probably will want to be 2 cm to be induced. My doc told me that usually when you induce someone who hasnt shown any signs of softening or dilation it will end in a section. I dont think induction was ever meant to be used to make things more convenient, but as we have used it more (as a society), our csection rate has gone up---probably because we induce people who arent actually ready. I would think it would make it much easier with Jackson, though. Are you EVER going to show us your belly???

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Krissy

Wow, I think I am in the minority in my thoughts and feelings on this issue, probably because I have never experienced any of the above. On the going into labor naturally vs being induced, I think I would lean towards going into labor naturally BUT not if that means going 2 weeks over my due date! On the issue of a vaginal birth vs c/s...honestly, I am scared to death of having a vaginal birth. I keep hearing, reading, listening to the "C-section is major surgery" and "the recovery of a C-section is a lot longer" and "you won't be able to pick up your baby" but I am less scared of a C-section than I am of a vaginal birth. If I indeed had a c-section, I wonder if I would feel differently or cheated for not having a vaginal birth, but as of now, if I got to have a C-section, I'd be okay with it. I think the only thing I desire to experience are a few contractions of labor, LOL. That's it. I'm such a wenie.

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Melissa--I am a huge weenie, also. That is part of why I dont want another c/s. I had months of pain when picking up my baby, who weighed more at birth than the after-surgery weight limit. I want to be PRESENT for the birth of my child, see his first breath, the way he looks when he comes out (and have him see ME first), and the immediate ability to hold the little thing that has been growing in me. Birth is a natural process, not an illness. For me, a csection made that moment medical instead of personal, and I will always be jealous of DH for being able to see him before me, hold him before me, etc. It is not easy to feel present when your guts are on the table and there is a huge blue cloth seperating you from the event. Not to mention, babies born via csection have more problems with bf'ing and often with breathing issues at birth, so it is safer for them to be born vaginally. Ely DID have those breathing issues they warn about, so I was unable to see him for about 6 hours after he was born. It was agonizing, but since they had to do a spinal for the surgery, they could not get me into nicu to see him, and I had to wait until he was stable enough to see me. I just felt like it was all way too medical.

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Krissy

Krissy-you are right, there is no bigger "high" than the moment your baby is born. With Avery, I was on stadol so wasn't as present but with Violet I only had the epi so was fully present. Definitely one of the best moments of my life! Oh and I am weenie too. I can't even watch them take blood from me without passing out.

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Bina--that is awesome that you got to experience that. I wanted that moment SO much; that is one of the main reasons I didnt want any drugs (and because it felt wierd to avoid aspirin for 9 months because of the baby's health and then all of a sudden pump your body full of narcotics!) And wanting that moment was the only reason I went two weeks over my due date. My doctor assured me that choosing to induce when I was not dilating or anything would pretty much guarantee a c-section, and since I didnt want that, and baby and I were both so healthy, I waited and let nature do its thing. Besides, 40 weeks is just an estimate. I dont regret doing things that way. At least I dont feel like I ended up with a csection because it was convenient, and I have absolutely no guilt (I know some women do). But I do wish I had that moment, and I hope I get another chance

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Krissy

I had 2 c/s, I've never experienced a contraction, and I don't feel like I missed out on anything. My recovery was easy both times - the first 5-6 days were hard, but after that I was fine to just take it easy for another week and then right back into the swing of things. Both my girls were perfectly healthy. The problems Lily had w/ BFing were from me supplementing her during her jaundice, not b/c of my milk supply or anything else. Lily is only 5 weeks old, but so far, neither of them have had any health issues other than Hannah's ear infections.

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I hope I didnt sound like I was implying ALL people who have c/s have the same regrets as me. I think many people who have c/s wouldnt change a thing, and have had great luck. Everyone has different experiences. I just wanted to post to make sure I didnt come across like I was speaking for everyone who ever had a c/s--I obviously can only speak for myself Birth choices are very personal for everyone.
Kelly-you are lucky that you felt so great after your c/s! I STILL have pain every month; it is terrible. They think I may have had some endometriosis, and the c/s "let it out", so now my uterus is adhering to the scar. Ugh. That is part of the reason we are going to ttc so soon, just in case there are problems. I sometimes wonder if my recovery wouldve been as difficult if that hadnt happened? Or if Ely hadnt been so heavy!

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Krissy

Krissy - that stinks a/b the endo making the pain worse. Hannah was not as heavy as Ely, close to 9 lbs, but I will say that my recovery was much easier this time and Lily was 7#10oz. I never thought a/b her size having anything to do with it, but you may be on to something there. I wanted to express, especially for those who are becoming 1st time moms soon, that my c/s experience was a positive one.

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I've been induced twice and it really wasn't that bad. Both times I ended up delivering a lot quicker than what they thought I would, so I must be fast. LOL I'm almost afraid of what would happen if I went into labor on my own. The first one wasn't a usual case though--the baby had already passed away and weighed only a pound. My body wasn't ready at all to deliver, so they started with cervadil (I think--it's the one to ripen the cervix). I went into labor on my own then, so I didn't need pit. They said that would take 24 hours and it only took 13. With the twins, I had pre-e, so they had to induce. By that time I was so uncomfortable and ready for them to be born, I was more upset that they wouldn't induce sooner. I was only dilated to 1 I think, so I had to start by being dilated some more. I had a choice between the cervadil and something else. I chose the cervadil because I had had it before and it had worked then. They started it at 8 pm and thought I would need several rounds of it-one every four hours. But, by midnight, I had dilated enough to start the pit. I delivered at 8:39 and 8:43 the next morning. So it wasn't long at all. I didn't think the pain was that bad either, but I had an epi for the twins and nothing for DS. I delivered vaginally both times. Actually, now that I think of it, with the twins I had three risk factors that usually mean c-sect--induction, twins, and one was breech, but I was able to deliver vaginally. I had a wonderful doctor though. Even though I didn't have a birth plan, we had talked about how i wanted to try a vag. delivery even though there was a good chance of Matthew being vag. and Rachel being c-sect. After Matthew was born, he reached in, grabbed Rachel's feet, and pulled her out while I pushed. So my dr was my hero! LOL. I'm not quite sure how to say this, and I hope I don't offend anyone, but I think part of why my dr was willing to deliver me vag is because the hospital where I was is in a very liberal community and they see more people who want to do things naturally, etc etc etc, so they are used to it and more wiling to try. It's also a teaching/research hospital, so they are more up to date on things as well.
Whew! Sorry I'm so long winded here!!!

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Well what a busy day its been here...
Thanks ladies for being so supportive. I really do appreciate it. I slept so long today that i'm sure part of my emotionalness yest was exhaustion, however I really amupset about all of this. So...
I'm not really sure who asked bc I just read a ton, but we don't live far from the hosp at all... 10 mins max (well except if we get this 2 ft of snow???) I kinda wish that I would have been in the mind set at the time to ask what Drs reasoning was, but I really didnt give it much thought at the time bc I never would have assumed that dh would have reacted as such. He did say today that he's been praying for Evan to stay in till term (he doesnt get the 37 wks thing), and i'm absolutly sure now, after him saying that, that this is all bc of MIL. She gets him so wound into faith sometimes that he doesn't want to believe the reality of whats really going on. (Not that i'm against faith by any means, I just don't believe that it should dictate my life, esp when its coming from MIL). Whatever the case, I talked to dh for a little bit today and I told him that all in all he needs to go into the Dr's ofc with an open mind on Mon. and not just thinking that he's going to make the decisions. If that becomes the case, I'll ask him to leave. He told me that he knew I wouldn't, and he's prob right, however, I think that its impt for us both to be prepd with questions and facts/infor onthe incudtion b4 we make a decision.

So I had my aunt and mom take me to the store to return a few things and pick up what we still needed... I'm super psyched to say that all I need are refills for the Diaper thing (which they were out of), and maybe one or two more changing pad covers... I'm getting super excited that I can actually say i'm ready. I even unpackaged all of the bottles and such and have them out on the table ready for sterilization tomo...

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ash- i def think its your mil that is making eric talk the way he is. you are full term, i wouldnt worry at all about being induced. thats your choice. i know the confusion you feel, when the dr offered to induce us with izzie i was up in the air. i ended up going for it so we could plan for a sitter better. my opinion is to go for it. you are already 5cm, no it is not 100% that you will have a quick delivery but there is a greater chance that you will dilate further and not know it then by the time your water breaks or you have pain, you could be very far along and close to delivery. (just think, soukiazian could del your baby if you went in the er- just lightening the mood) but either way, i know its a tough choice. i dont think their is a right or wrong choice. let me know what you decide

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JJ, I agree with your doctor's mindset going into induction making all the differance in the world. My doc doesnt put people on a clock like I hear a lot of docs do, and he is very willing to try whatever it takes to avoid a section. My first was sunny side up so she took 4 hours to push out and he had me in every postition imaginable to push. I think I begged for a section at one point but the baby was handling it just fine and he knew he could get her out. I am so glad he was willing to perservere from midnight until 4 am.
I also know a lot of people that had sections and dont have any regrets, they all think that they got a healthy baby and that is all they really wanted. One of these is my friend that is a chiropractor. She was overdue by 3 AND A HALF WEEKS!!! She has not even taken a tylenol in over 15 years so she did not want to be induced, they finally talked her into it. She labored for 3 days and then finally got an epi, she dialated really fast but the baby never really engaged. Finally they did a section and come to find out Bradley's cord was super short, like half the length as normal so he couldnt decend, it may have killed him. She is now pg again and planning a home birth if things go as planned, but she is realistic that even though the section was hard to recover from she has baby B and in the end that is all she wanted.

My point is that we all choose differant paths for delivery, but in the end we only can do what we feel comfortable with.

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def, well put

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Ashley- I'm still confused. Why is your dr. talking induction? He's afraid you won't make it to the hospital in time? I thought the incompetent cervix issue had to do with delivering prematurely. I've never heard of anyone requiring induction for fear of labor moving too quickly. Or am I totally off base here?

I just would make sure that it really is a necessity, and what is best for the baby. My dr. seemed like a great guy until the end, when he was mad at me for making him come in and deliver on his day off. I had specific instructions from the specialist as to what day I must deliver, it was a matter of "life or death for baby" (his words exactly), and yet I still had to end up in a total battle w/ both doctors at the end, b/c it became an incovenience for my OB. So maybe I'm just jaded and pessimistic about deliveries, but I worry about them getting too happy about being able to pencil it in, rather than let nature takes its course. Sorry, I'll just keep my mouth shut from now on. I'm probably not helping you any, am I.

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Sara--I agree, did you know that in the U.S. our c-section rate is highest at shift changes? Seriously, that cannot be coincidence; dr.s shift just HAPPENS to be getting close to ending, so all of a sudden you need a section? Doubt it!

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Krissy

Sarah, I wish I could answer that. I think thats why I'm so confused and prob part of why dh and I are in disagreement. I honestly don't know what warrented him to talk of induction. He just briefly mentioned it and said that we'd talk more at my next appt which would be on Monday. Thats when I decieded that I needed to prior educate myself as best as I could so that I could be prepared when I did go back. The whole part about dh being against it honestly has nothing to do with the good or bad of the baby (i think), but more so of the fear of everything as well as the impact that MIL and my mom have on him.

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Ash--my doctor "offered" induction starting at 39 weeks, he said he would do it, but that it wouldnt work and I would probably end up in csection. I think many docs just offer it, like Sara said, to be able to pencil you in, and because so many women want it.

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Krissy

Krissy, he actually said that it prob wouldn't work??? Thats kinda scary. I'm so afraid of c/s, but I've kinda put it out of my mind esp since I'm already 4-5. I'm really just praying now that I go into labor sooner than later and then not have to worry about any of this. I also don't think that he feels that its what we want esp since I was so pro-midwife in the beginning and bc she is who persuaded him into letting us wait things out when we went in at 36 wks. Also with dh voicing his questions at the last appt about the induction being "necessary" vs having the option to wait. Thats why I kinda feel like maybe theres something else that he's just not telling us yet. Whatever the case, he said that we'll talk more about it on Monday, so I just need to prep myself and be on the same page as dh by that time.

On a side note, I just told Crystal that I slept ok last night but I was a bit uncomfy bc my belly was super hard (almost like one consistent contraction) up high, like by my diaphragm, and maybe down midway. I also was concerned bc I hadn't felt the baby move so I had dh get the doppler out this am so I could hear him. His hr was mid 140s but faint, I think maybe I had his back side near the probe?? After I ate, he started to move around alot, so I feel better about that. I've been laying on the couch most of the am, bc Eric yelled at me for going out yesterday and told me that I need to get back into "bed rest" mode. I have had a few mediocre contractions this am and a bit of back pain, but nothing that seems too unnorm yet. Guess we'll see what the day brings. I don't wanna get too excited about anything bc I'm not ready for yet another let down.

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Ashley, I dont think you need to be on bed rest at all anymore. You are over 37 weeks now so I am sure Evan would be fine if he decided to come now.

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