There was a time when pregnancies were considered natural, normal occurrences. Pregnancies were often "unplanned" surprises and no one thought much about it. Motherhood was honored. Children were considered by many to be a "gift from God" to their families and a sign that life should go on.

In these earlier times, there were no doctors present at conception, no scientists experimenting with human sperm and human eggs, or implanting human embryos. There were no "traditional surrogates" whose lowly occupation was producing their own sons and daughters to be used by the infertile elite. There were no social workers or adoption attorneys waiting for "their" babies to be born, so they could turn the babies over to infertile people willing to pay money for "services" that would get them a baby to adopt.

Over the history of America - and much of the so-called "civilized" world - things changed. Women were criticized for having too many babies or too few. Women were criticized for not "planning" and pregnancy was considered a "crisis". In other words (despite male involvement in the sex act) it was the woman was expected to take sole responsibility for pregnancy prevention and for any children that might be born. When abortion was illegal, women had to resort to unsafe procedures if they wanted to comply with societal expectations about who may reproduce and when.

In the 1950's, 1960's, and early 1970's women and teenage girls who were single and failed to seek illegal abortions usually had their babies removed from them by a punitive society. The single mother was referred to derisively as an "unwed" mother and was sent to a "home" for "unwed" mothers and detained as an "inmate" until her baby was born. She may have been given no instruction on labor and delivery, to punish her. As further punishment, if the mother was white her baby was taken for adoption. Her motherhood was considered "illegitimate" or "illegal". Her child was called a "bastard", "the baby" or simply "it".

In the 1970's it became more acceptable for a mother to be single, and many people dropped the derogatory term "unwed" mother. The adoption businesses lost business and went searching for new sources of babies for their customers. Inter-country adoption became more fashionable.

With the availability of legal abortion, women were under more pressure than ever to "plan" and still frequently expected to take sole responsibility for babies born to them. It was said that women had "choices". But unless their "choice" was abortion, women who were young or single and pregnant might very well find themselves being pressured into adoption, just like their sisters in the decades preceding them.

Today, the societal pressures on women have picked up. In America, the adoption businesses have gotten federal funding for "Infant Adoption Awareness Training" and are promoting "open" adoption to lure the naive mother-to-be in and get more of their "product" to sell. As infertility increases, the market for newborn babies and the raw materials to make babies increases.

Those who stand to profit in some way have begun to resurrect the old prejudice and hatred of single parents, claiming there is a "national problem" of "unwed" mothers. National statistics for pregnancy to single women are reported as "unplanned" pregnancies and it is often reported that their babies are "unwanted". In reality the labels "unplanned" and "unwanted" that are applied have nothing to do with "planning" or "wanting". By the time they are born, most mothers want their babies very much.

"Unplanned" pregnancy - why is it called "unplanned"? Today motherhood is no longer honored. Pregnancy and childbirth has been reduced to a "job" for the lowest status members of society. Children are no longer considered a gift from God to their mother, father and family, but a product to be sold. Pregnant women and new mothers may be referred to by the derogatory labels "birthmothers", "biological" parents, "surrogates" or even "egg donors".




About the Author:

L. A. Frisch operates a website for single women and teens, providing help and information for "pregnancy without crisis" and is a member of OriginsUSA a group of American mothers opposed to discrimination against single parents.

What should the woman who gives birth to the child be called if she gives the child up for adoption,then? Giving birth does not make you a mother anymore than a man being the one to inseminate a woman makes him a father. Mothers and fathers are the ones who raise the children, who provide them with a home, food, clothing, love and security. The people who provide these things are mother and/or father. This is not saying that the one who gave birth didn't love her child. Sometimes the mother is doing what is best for the child by giving it up for adoption, but when you do that, you lose the title of mother. When children find out that they are adopted, there has to be some name/title that they can use to refer to the woman who gave birth to them, so why not use "birthmother" and such. I don't think it's derogatory at all. I agree, it sounds weird, but what else can you say?

I totally agree Wendy. So called "unplanned" pregnancys happen all the time and those families that can afford, emotionally and financially, to have another child will still be great parents. Woman that have "unplanned" pregancies that can not afford, again emotionally or financially, to care for these children are doing damage to themselves and the baby by keeping it. I think that the term "birthmother" should not been seen by anyone (and I do not think any parents that adopt do) as bad. All of the families I know that have adopted hold the "birthmother" up with so much respect. This person has given them the most amazing gift in the world and she got to take care of the baby for the time that the adoptive parent was not able too yet. I even have a friend that adopted a child that was exposed to a lot of drugs in utero and she has so much respect for that birthmom who knew she was in no place to take care of a child.
The author of this article fails to take into account the pain that infertility causes and the fact that adoption is something that is ordained by God.

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