So today was one of those days that as a ttcer - I HATE

I had to go to my cousin's baby's christening. It is so painful to sit and watch everyone run around with their babies, and instead I am running round taking care of my grandfather.

But besides that - today I experienced something new. The women in my family that were there know that we have been trying for a long time. But this time - no one asked how we were doing with ttc or what was going on with it. No one asked anything - as a matter of fact - i sort of felt avoided. And that upset me. (why don't the care how much pain i am in? do they realize I am in pain? do they realize how painful it is just to be there? and then no one ask - How are you? )

most times, I am upset with insensitve comments like "just relax" or "it is in God's hands" but today I was upset because no one acknowledged me

Now don't get me wrong - I am not looking for everyone to feel sorry for me -- that is the last thing I want (I already feel sorry for myself enough on occassions like today ) but I guess I would like to feel acknowledged or for someone to say "if you need to talk"

Sorry for the vent - but I have never been upset before because no one asked - I guess today was different because I was prepared today to answer questions (without crying) - and no one even cared enough.

kristen

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Kristen,

You shouldn't have gone. Like the slideshow that Lisa had put up...it's not selfishness it's selfperservation.

I've avoided any baby events the last 4 months. I just can't do it.

And I have felt the same way upset when people ask and upset when they don't. If they would have asked you probably would have been on here complaining about that. it's a no win situation. Just gotta take it one week at a time.

~Betsy~

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I totally agree with Betsy. I get upset when people don't ask, and then upset when they do and make those "supportive" comments. It really is a no-win situation.

I'm sorry you felt so bad at the Christening. It really is hard to go to baby events. I decided to cancel on a friend last night b/c she has a baby, and was having two other friends over with their babies (I only know these girls through her, so I'm not friends with them.) I was planning on going, but then realized how truly awful I would have felt. So I skipped out. I am so glad that I did.

Hang in there, sweetie.. we know your pain!

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Sorry... I didn't mean to make that all about me. Just to say I know exactly how you feel!

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Sorry to hear you are feeling down Kristen. I think people not acknowledging or asking you is similar to how they react to others grief. People are uncomfortable and don't know what to say to, so just choose to not say anything or avoid you because its not "comfortable" I hope this makes some kind of sense!

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Kristen,

I try to avoid anything with babies as well. Especially when the event is focused around babies. I agree with everyone here that it's the catch-22, you are hurt if people ask and you have to talk about your situation, while at the same time, if everyone ignores the struggles and challenges in your life, then you feel awkward and as though others discuss your situation while you are not present.

I have found through my friends and family that haven't said anything that they just didn't want to hurt me or make the situation uncomfortable by talking about my infertility. I would hope it is more because they DO care about you (and just don't know how to show it) that they don't say anything rather than they just don't care. I hope your day ended a little better!

Hugs,
Melissa