Rebecca - I feel exactly the same. I haven't really done too much job hunting yet... I've been looking around at job postings and started updating my resume but I'm not going to actively start until after we get back from Montana... of course thats only a week away now.

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And that's when I do feel like such a shit head. I have the hardest time, typing, "Congrats, I'm so happy for you" Although I am, I just can't seem to type it out. So I do apoligize for all of the bfp, not commenting on them. But for some reason I can't. Although I was proud of myself for giving Christy congrats, but then again feel horrible for not saying it to anyone else.

Urgghh!!!

I'm thinking that if DH and I do decide to move right now, that maybe that could be one way of putting ttc on the back burner.

Irene - I was starting to wonder where you went.

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Karyn~The bad thing though is that the first RE (or actually the office staff I'm sure) put everything through insurance first, even though we all knew insurance wouldn't pay for it. Because of that, I'm now labeled as an IF patient through my insurance company and everything is scrutinized. Some of my IVF meds are normally covered under insurance because they are used to treat other things, but since I'm labeled "IF", they won't pay it.

Emily~Yes! I was reading your post and almost screamed yes! You took the words out of my mouth. As far as which path to follow, I've had people say "just adopt". That came from one pg person and one never-tried-to-get-pg person. It takes a lot of soul-searching to know which path to take and if you've never had to soul search about IF, you don't understand that it's not "just" adopting or "just" doing ART. As for being around other babies or children, it varies by the day. Some days I'm ok, others I'm not. For awhile it was four and five year olds playing outside with their parents that bothered me,because I wonder when I'll get my family to play with. It also bothers me to see parents treating their kids poorly and/or screaming at them. I hear that a lot Once, years before I was even married, I was at a friend's house. She had other friends (a couple with a child) over too. The couple was saying to the kid how exciting it was that she was spending the night with mom and dad, rather than grandma for the first time ever (and she was 4 years old). In the meantime, she had a bandage on her arm, from her blood draw earlier in the day. She was really hoping that the test would confirm her pregnancy. She didn't even take care of the one she had and she wanted another. It bothered me then, and it bothers me even more now. (sorry for the novel!!!!)

Irene~I'm sorry you're feeling down. {{hugs}}

Rebecca/Mary~Me too. I just stopped reading the other sections of the board. Easier said than done at times.

I'm supposed to call my RE by tomorrow if I don't get AF. Since I o'd late I'm thinking she'll come over the weekend. I felt crampy a couple of times today, so I know she'll be here soon.

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Hi girls! I've missed you!

Rebecca ~ A dream in San Fran? How come I wasn't in it???

Karyn ~ I missed Gerard-y!!! I totally hear you about the holidays. Cap'ns aunt and uncle and cousin are the worst. I might be spared of the cousin this year b/ she lives in TX and is giving birth in Jan, so I'm hoping she won't be able to fly out here.

Becky ~ I'm sorry about the low day *hugs* I completely understand.

Betsy ~ I'm one of those depressed people, it sucks. I love what you wrote...ditto what Becky said, I'm so crappy with words.

Em ~ You too! Between watching CSI and reading this, I'm going to have puffy eyes in the a.m.!!!

Irene ~ I'm sorry you are feeling down! I can't wait to hug you! But for right now, *hugs*

JJ ~ I got the cramps too (for the last couple of days) and today the spotting started. Trying not to lose it and keep myself really busy which isn't too hard to do. You know what really gets to me? My denial. Despite the fact that I have clear signs pointing to AF, I still have that hope that maybe it is different and I'm just so crushed when she finally shows. I wish I could just accept it now and not be so crushed later. Sorry I got off topic and I know you didn't ask, I was just commiserating with the cramps.

Lisa ~ HI!!! How are you???

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Melissa - Because you're coming to Pittsburgh! LOL

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Had the HSG this morning. That was the most uncomfortable thing I've ever been through in my life. The doctor that did it was not MY doctor, and I seriously think that a tree would have more personality than this guy. But at least it's done and over with. There's no blockages, so that is a good thing. But I already kind of assumed that there were no blockages, since I don't have a problem getting pregnant....I just can't STAY that way.

So, we'll see what they decide to do from here. They did a bunch more blood work today too. I probably won't hear from the office until Monday, and then we'll figure out what's next. And I'm getting married next Saturday, so whatever is next will have to wait until after the wedding.

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Mel~Yep, I get the denial. Here's what goes through my head every month...Cramps? Must be implantation. Spotting? Implantation bleeding. Full force AF? Maybe I'm one of those who is pg, but still gets AF.
Although, I have to say, I lost that optimism several months ago and now I just assume AF is coming.

Jen~Sorry about the doctor, but at least no blockages! I can't believe your wedding is only a week away. It's coming up fast!!

Still no AF today (I'm not surprised). I'm supposed to call if it comes over the weekend or on Monday if it doesn't come. I'm sure it'll be tomorrow or Sunday.

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JJ - I'm with ya... just assume that AF is coming.

Jen - I'm glad it wasn't too bad, but wish you had a better doctor. YAY to no blockages!! One thing that I learned from my RE is that my adhesion shoudl have been seen on the HSG, but it wasn't. I just thought the hsg was to check shape and blockage. I hope it means that there was nothing unusual in there for you as well!

I just got home from graduation. It was BORING! Although, several of us got a little teary-eyed! One of the girls in my class was a Theatre major and sang a song for us.. It was really sweet. My mom went and never even said congratulations. I honestly think she only went because dh asked her to and she felt obligated because she's my mom. Dad bailed at the last minute, too. Luckily, I have a very supportive dh. I came home to roses and champagne! Dh did take one picture of me with some of the girls from class. I'll try to get it loaded tomorrow.

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Bec~ I am so proud of you! Deciding that you wanted to go to school, working hard, and graduating! I cannot believe you have already finished! Congratulations!! ((hugs))

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Hi ladies! I hope everyone is having a good weekend. I've been a bum... yesterday I watched college football all day, and today I'm trying to catch up on laundry before I head to the grocery store. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day for me (going to be in court all day), so I'm trying to be as stress free as I can right now.

My temp showed that I Oed... We got some good bd in, and I'm praying that by some miracle this month is my month. Dh's birthday is Friday, and it would be such a nice gift. *sigh* Not that I would find out anything for his birthday, but it would be a nice belated gift!

Oh... Dh's work laid off 8 people on Friday. They said the are going to do another round this week. Ugh. I don't think dh will be one of them, but we are worried none-the-less. We get our insurance through his work.

Irene - be sure to take a lot of pictures in Montana! I've never been there, but I've heard it is absolutely gorgeous!

Mary/rac/JJ - I quit reading the regular ttc board. I hate to be like that, but I can't help it.

Jen - yay for no blockages! I'm sorry about the doc, though.

Hi everyone else!

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Mary - good luck in court tomorrow! Lucky for me, it's a bank holiday and I get to stay home with my dogs.

Unfortunately, I can't quit reading any threads. Since I'm a moderator, I have to read everything. Maybe it helps give me thicker skin???

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Rac - have fun tomorrow! I took my kids for a walk today, and now my Golden needs a bath... bad! She got in the creek and played around, and now she has mud all over her belly. Gotta love them!

Thanks for the good luck wishes. It is relatively simple procedures (no judge), but I still get nervous. I guess that will go away with time and experience.

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Mary - I'm getting ready to take my babies to Starbucks. Well, I'm getting the starbucks, but they love car rides. We went yesterday, too. I wish I had a place where they could play in water. I've heard there's a dog park not far from here, but I can never get dh to go and do stuff like that.

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Rebecca ~ Oh I see! LOL, okay I got a chair massage yesterday for 10 minutes and the first five minutes were pure torture! Until she asked me how the pressure was, I was in complete pain.

JJ ~ That is so me! My body gave me the big F U, yesterday. My BFF and I were at a scrapbook convention and we were looking at sample layouts. When we got to the baby section and big cramp hit me. Lovely. My body just wanted to give me a little reminder of what won't be happening. I just cried in the shower this morning. On one hand I wish AF would get here and I could move on, but on the other hand, I need some time for Cap'n to call his doctor AGAIN and request that his b/w be mailed to us. I wish I could call and bitch someone out. If we don't get that b/w, that will be 3 cycles wasted.

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Mel~Ouch about where you were when the cramp hit! I'm always worse before AF, but once she's here I'm always better. What blood work does dh still need? I'm sure I read it, but I forgot.

Rebecca~We've got a couple of dog parks near here, but our dog just absolutely freaks out whenever she sees another dog, so we never go there with her Congratulations on graduating!


Mary~I guess it all evens out though-when I first came here, I never read the IF board. It scared me too much!!! Now I consider it my own little safe world.

Lauren~Are you back to waiting?

AF came today, so I started my bcp's. Kind of ironic, huh? Didn't someone here have a blinkie once about that? At least insurance paid for it. Heck, who am I trying to kid, $30 is just a small drop in the bucket. LOL

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JJ~ Here is the one I have used

I *think* af is here for me too! I am SO HOPING That it is!! I started spotting yesterday, and today has been a little heavier. It doesnt seem like full force af, but seems stronger than spotting... I cannot decide if I should start bcps tonight or not...

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