Hi girls. okay, this might be a bit long.

Well, I don't really want to scare anyone who may have this procedure in the future, but it HURT. When I had my HSG I had no pain at all, so I figured this would be the same, but it was really awful. First they give you a pregnancy test - which was BFN, so that was a great way to start. Speculum in, no problem. Then the doc like pushes your cervix forward so he can find the opening, and I think he clamped it or something, and then tried to push the straw through. He said my cervix looked like it wouldn't need any numbing medication, but he couldn't get the thing in, so THEN he decides to numb my cervix and I'm convinced they used shots like when you get novacaine in your mouth. So he pinched me twice with whatever numbing crap they use, then shoved the straw through, then inserted whatever the scraping/suction thing is and HOLY CRAP I really thought I might pass out. I figure it was kind of like getting a mini-D&C without any anesthesia.

When he finally took the thing out, they left me to compose myself and I just broke down and was crying so hard I was essentially dry-heaving. I could feel that I was bleeding, and I got up to try and clean myself and blood just gushed down all over the floor, so of course I was mortified and running around half naked trying to mop up the mess with crappy doctor's office kleenex. I got dressed and tried to leave the room but when I opened the door there were three nurses there with these sympathetic looks on their faces and I just started to cry again, and didn't stop crying until I got home and ate some ice cream.

The pain was bad, and I did cramp and bleed the rest of the day, but what was really hard for me was somehow I felt violated. Like who is this person that is ripping apart my womb? And to not have Juan there...was 100X worse and he knew it the minute I called him. I was kind of a mess all weekend, and crying for no apparent reason. Then AF started yesterday, so I'm sure all the PMS hormones that had been running through my body didn't help.

The ONLY good thing about this is hopefully I will never have to do it again. I have to go do my bloodwork tomorrow and then set up an appointment for sometime late next week to go over the results of the bloodwork and the biopsy.

Whew, that was a lot.

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Oh Emily~ I am so sorry it was such a bad experience. Sounds very similar to my hsg experience. I guess the positive side is that it will give you some answers, and you will NEVER have to do it again! ***big squeezy hugs***

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Lauren-Sorry no hot water yet. Hope DH gets it fixed by the time you get home. It is amazing to find out how people have struggled with IF and their stories. You do assume people who have children didn't go through what we have but in fact many have been in our shoes.

Em-BIG HUGS. Sorry it was a terrible and painful experience. Thankfully you won't have to go through it again. And hopefully you'll continue to move forward getting some answers. hang in there.

Mari-Hoping your number has gone up!

Jen-Awesome news about your eggies. Hoping to hear good news on the 14th for you!

Jo-I also have that after BD. I've read it's common and actually nothing to be concerned with. I think I've read that usually the sperm are already traveling and that is just some of the liquid and generally doesn't contain the spermies.

Well I did get some shopping in even with the in-laws here. I'm going to wait and go again next weekend since DH is leaving on business. It'll give me something to do!

As for the in-laws.....not only did they not give us any warning but decided to stay until this morning. Which obviously puts me in a bad mood trying to get ready for work with house guests. I felt like all we were to them was a place to stay. They didn't show up until 10:30pm on Saturday, left Sunday around 9am and returned last night around 8pm. never ate a meal with us, nothing. Basically showed up to sleep there because they don't want to stay and the grandma's dirty house in the ghetto. I was so upset that I let DH have it yesterday and told him he has to tell them that it's unacceptable to show up unannounced to our house. This isn't the first time and they will continue to think it's ok if he doesn't say anything.

I explained to him that we will be starting very serious fertility treatments in a few months and this kind of stress can't happen. I told him to use that if he needs to in explaining why they can't do this anymore to us. Plus it's rude considering that we work all week and DH has been working weekends as it is, which leaves us no time to get things done and then have to worry about what time they will be at the house etc.

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Emily - Yep, sounds like my hsg experience too. My doctor said I'd feel a little pressure. Well, what do these male doctors know about pressure when they're talking about a cervix, for cryin' out loud. I'm glad it's over for you and that you're getting some answers, though.

Heidi - I don't blame you one bit for being upset. I would have felt like a doormat, too. Does your dh have a close relationship with his parents?

Lauren - Hopefully, you'll have hot water today. I remember when my hot water heater died. Dh was on his way home from Canada and I had to call my dad to put a new one in for me.

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I just had my blood drawn, I´ll get the results around 4 today.
I´m nervous. I´m not expecting good news.
Lets hope it turns out otherwise.


Emily- im glad youre feeling better.

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Oh Mari, I'll be praying for good results. I know how hard the waiting is. Hugs.

Heidi, I'm sorry you had to deal with the in laws! Hopefully your DH got the picture and will be more aggressive about letting his parents know they can't treat you guys like a hotel. I always worry that my DH gets annoyed that my parents come to visit us so often, but he never says anything.

Lauren, I'm sorry no hot water! How terrible!!

Jen - congrats on the transfer! I've got my crossables crossed for you!

Besty - where are you girl??

Rebecca, the "pressure" part hurt, but the part that hurt the worst was the scraping or suctioning or whatever it was they did to get the lining out. He had a big cup of blood there so I'm hoping AF will be a little lighter this month.

Snowie, Karyn, Jo, Steph - hope you girls all had great weekends!

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Okay, why are the receptionists at Dr's offices always so obnoxious?! I just called and told the lady that I had the e-biopsy on friday and the doctor told me to call when I started my period. So I said I started my period and want to set up an appointment with the doctor. She was like "um, okay, well, was it full flow?" I said yes. She said "Well, what did the doctor tell you to do?"

Did I not just say what the doctor told me to do?!

Then she put me on hold, then she said she'd have to call me back.

I so don't want to dislike this place. The doctor seems great and the nurses were really nice, but if the person you have to deal with on the phone all the time is a total idiot, it makes it really frustrating.

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Em - I'm sorry your appointment was so painful........they really should warn you about appts like that

Lauren - I hope you get hot water sometime today

Jen - Goodluck can't wait to see your results on the 14th.....have we had anyone w/ triplets on here before??

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Em-Don't get discouraged about the doctor's office. When I start AF and have to call as well they take a message and hand it off to a nurse. They review the file and call me back to set up everything. I found the first time I had to do that they screwed up the message to the nurse who at first got a little snippy with me. But once I explained that I did it correct the nurse was ok.

Rebecca-I wouldn't say DH is real close to his parents. He talks to them regularly and we see them about every 3 months. His parents just live in a very different world than I'm use to or grew up in. They don't have much of a social life or friends anymore. So I think that some of the things they do is just out of not having common sense about what's ok. His family is also the type that will make comments to me or about me without thinking first.

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Heidi - That has to be rough. It's so hard when two people come from completely different 'styles of living' so to speak. As long as you and your dh are on the same page about things, that is what matters. My dh and I always argue about birthdays. His family was never big about birthday parties, but mine was. Since I have 5 nieces and nephews, he gets really irritated that there's a birthday party just about every month.

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We both will agree that our families in general are irritating. And we don't hesitate to tell each other. Which definitely has helped us. Same thing about my family and birthdays. Everyone calls each other, sends card etc and DH's family doesn't really do anything. We're lucky if they acknowledge it. Weird.

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Em- OMG, my stomach was in knots reading your post. How awful!!

Well, I have a question...my doctor told me to abstain until CD10 and then BD CD12 and CD14. Well, DH couldn't wait one more day, so we BD yesterday, on CD9. Should I go ahead and BD today to get back on track or start the every other day thing from today? Keep in mind that I normally O on CD14.

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Jo-I would BD today and then start the every other day thing.

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Well Girls, bad news, my beta levels are now on ZERO. I talked to my RE, he said i probably just had a chemical PG. My numbers must have been up to get a positive HPT and the started coming down , and are now back to zero.
He said AF should be here in a few days.

I cried some, and im now feeling bettter. Everything is in God´s hands, i firmly believe that, i just dont want Him to test me like this anymore.

Thanks for all your support, and prayers.

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Mari ((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

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Mari-HUGS.

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Mari I am so sorry.

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