I know you are right. I want to MAKE things happen sometimes and am sick of waiting for anything. See my new snail blinkie...I put it right in the middle. *whew* Going slow is exhausting. Sometimes it's one hour at a time...even one minute at a time...my poor brain. I have to believe better things are in store for me soon. I see things, improvements...I want to trust and believe...but I'm very guarded and skeptical. I'm scared too. His ears aren't the only ones who heard me say this is the last chance a few weeks ago...mine heard me say it too. It's only been a few days, but unless he's angry cause we're arguing, he's actually receptive to things I'm saying, and I'm hearing him say things that I said before (oh, it's hard not to say 'I told you so'), or reflect concepts back to me in whole new ways, so there is something going on in there. We both need professional help. Ooof. I WANT to believe...I'm just so very shell-shocked. Trying to get him to snap to the I don't need to hear it, I need to see it thing.

I need the health insurance too. I'm SO excited about that being on it's way soon. It's something very scarce in the jewelry industry -- benefits like that don't exist almost anywhere, and I've never been able to afford private insurance.

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Karyn ~ Welcome back! Last day of school is June 13 and I can't wait.

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Thanks girls!

In a corny kind of way, I feel like I'm free! (well almost free, Friday I will be) It's so werid to be not-TTC when it's not your choice. 3 months is really not that long but to someone TTC it seems like forever!

My 6 year old nephew said he had a surprise for me, went into the pantry & pulled out a bag of chocolate animal crackers! My sister said she was hoping she would go into labor before her & the kids polished off the bag!

Steph - Yeah for insurance soon!

Deanna - Ooh nice car! I was the same as you going between car & SUV. DH wants an SUV. Last year DH wanted me to get a new vehicle but I kept telling him 'when we have a car seat to deal with then I'll get a new car.' I almost felt like I didn't deserve one because it's just me driving around. I think I'm getting over that feeling!

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Karyn~I was going back and fourth between SUV and car for the longest time. We decided that if we have a baby with the new car, the car seat will have no problem in the back seat. They are pretty roomy cars....better than my Honda we drive to work! Yea to almost being free!!! 3 months would seem long to someone TTC, but its over with now!

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Good Morning everyone! We had a nice employee appreciation luncheon yesterday, fried flounder and shrimp, baked chicken, cole slaw, green beans, french fries, rolls and banana pudding. It was really good. 3 Chef's Cater's cooked it there, so that was really nice. That is pretty much all they will do for us for too, but better than nothing. The old agency where I worked got boxed lunches from Chick-Fi-La yesterday and tomorrow they are having a pig roast with all the trimmings too. Today they have TCBY coming by at lunch and everyone gets a fre frozer yogurt, yum!

I just want to thank you all for your kind words and support over being told I was too old to have a baby. Forrest and I have prayed hard on this and feel at peace going alone with the doctor and trying to do what we can to make it happen. We are going to follow through with Dr. Stands plan for us and see what happens. Love you all, you are all like dear Sisters to me. I am praying for us all to have that wonderful surprise of a bundle of joy on it's way before the end of this year! God Bless!

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Good morning all!
I am at work and about to BURN UP! I am so hot! I am sure the lupron has something to do with it, but it is getting warm outside and it doesnt even feel like the air is on in the building. Ugh.

I got a call yesterday and I have another interview set up on Friday. It is at a new elementary school that will be opening next year.

Lisa~ ((hugs)) We just want you to be happy and have what you have wanted for so long. It can be so discouraging... Whatever you decide is best for you, is what we want you to do.

Karyn~ AW, a sweet baby girl. Gosh I want one. Glad to see you back!

Steph~ ((hugs)) Keep your chin up.

Yes, maybe Hope for her name... That's a good idea...

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Well, some good news. My dad's test results came back in - the little tumor in his bladder was benign (the panic was b/c my grandfather just died of bladder cancer in February; he'd had it for several years). They did 20 additional biopsy samples on his prostate, in addition to the 12 they did the first time, and nothing new turned up, so the cancer was only found in one of the first 12, out of a total of 32 samples, and a low percentage at that. They don't even want to do anything but keep an eye on him for now. They'll check him out again in a handful of months.

So, that's good.

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Steph - Awesome news!

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http://rchiprean.abmp.com/index.html

Steph - thats great news!

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Steph, that is wonderful news!

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Thanks y'all. I'm so emotionally stopped up with everything that's happened...it's hard to process anything. But I do feel like I got to take a little breath after mother told me that.

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Great new, Stephanie!

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Steph-Great news! Hope things continue on the upturn for you. (((hugs)))

Lauren-I'm getting so excited for you!

Rebecca-And for you too!

Karyn-You three!

Lisa-I second what Lauren said. (((hugs)))

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Hi ladies-
I wanted to post this as you all know (at least hope) that I think of you often and hope you find some inspiration in what I have to share. I posted several months ago about a local tv station airing a program about diet and fertility. Which simply highlighted how changing your diet and you'll get pg. That didn't go over well with me.

However, last night another tv station aired a wonderful story about one of their crew members. She is due any day now and she actually talked about her struggles with infertility. She is 37 and like many of us waited until a little later to get married and have a family. She found out that her FSH was 24. She talked about the fertility meds she tried and they didn't work. The RE told her that her best shot was DE. So they decided to take the plunge. They flew out to NYC to get matched and were all set to go only to have their donor not pass the tests. She talked about how they were back to square one.

Apparently they decided to give it one last shot on their own. She upped the fertility meds and did an IUI (not even IVF) and she got pg. It was a very emotional story and a lot of touched me for obvious reasons.

It was wonderful to finally see them show the reality of infertility and the emotional struggle we go through. And that it actually touches millions of people. She also talked about how there is help out there, which I thought was so important.

I wish each and everyone one of you lots of baby dust and don't ever give up because you just never know what can happen.

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Heidi ~ That sounds like an awesome and very inspirational story. I wish I could have seen it (I could use a little hopeful story right about now). I wonder if it is on youtube?

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Heidi thanks for sharing and giving us all that bit of hope, sounds like a story I would have sat there and cried over.

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Heidi - Thanks for sharing that! I wish it was something they would air again.

Lauren - Yeah for another interview! Good luck tomorrow!

Steph - That is GREAT news about your dad!

Snowie - Hi & Thanks!

Lisa - That luncheon sounded great! Good for you to keep moving on with the plan!

Deanna - I have an Eclipse now, so anything would be roomier than that! I love my little, fast car though! It's going to be weird driving something else, something not so close to the ground. When I drive DH's truck I like sitting up higher. DH wants me to have something with 4wd, but his personal truck is at home while he's at work. So if I did ever need 4wd, I have it. I think of the price of gas too. For DH to completely fill his truck (diesel) it's close to $100! That is so ridiculous.

Rebecca - Have you found any good all natural day lotions that have SPF? I'm having a hard time finding one. I wish Burt's Bee's would make one. I have become obsessed with their products!

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