Emily ~ I completely see where you are coming from. I understand your comment about the trying part and that 1) not giving you a baby and 2) not being able to be a nurturing person. I've thought about this issue as well. What if I cannot have children, I'm destined to be cool Aunt (or Tia) Mel. I think I will be able to live with that...after years of psychotherapy, but eventually. Going back to what you said re: #2, I consider this TTC journey about me (and a little bit about Cap'n too, I guess) and unfortunately, I can't spread myself out to others like I normally have under different circumstances. Right now, it is about me and my dreams, goals, aspirations - I deserve a little me time. idk, I guess that is the way I see it. I had mentioned in the TTC thread an argument that Cap'n and I had gotten into when he said to me, "There are people out there worse off than we are." and I screamed back to the effect of, "I don't give a flying f*** about other people, I care about me and having my baby!" I hope I'm making some sense and not just babbling here. If and this is a strong if, you don't get your baby, or even when you do, you can then be a nurturing person to others then. Right now it is about you. I just made myself tear up, now.

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I know what you are saying Mel. I really do. But it's been 2 years of it being about me, and me crying, feeling bad for five days every month, hating myself, hating life, not understanding why this is happening, feeling like less of a woman, etc. I guess the question is figuring out when it becomes too much. I'm pretty sure I will try what my doctor recommends for another 3-6 months. After that, and who knows how I will feel then, I'm not sure I can justify putting my DH through this anymore.

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God, I have had almost those exact thoughts and conversations. I know all of this has stolen away parts of me...the nurturing, compassionate parts that have been such a huge part of me. It just hurts too much to let those emotions come through and not have the place to pour them into (my own babies).

Em ~ Good luck with your decision. I'll be thinking of you.

Hi Snow. And everyone.

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Em - It really hit me when you mentioned your 2 consequences of "trying and trying" in this world. When do you really know what to let give? Will that "nurturing" desire ever go away? I'm sorry for the struggles in your heart right now....I'll be thinking about you.

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TGIF! Does anyone else feel like a big, fat alcoholic drink

Betsy - I'm glad Dr.#8 was able to get you in next week, I hope that it's a great appt.

Emily - I know you will decide what's best for you. It sucks that we even have to make those types of decisions.

Melissa - Did you ending up having the HSG today?

Lauren & Rebecca - Have fun this weekend getting together!!!

Deanna - Doesn't it stink getting in the groove after vacation!

EMZ - WELCOME!!!!

My 3rd & final shot is 2 weeks from today! Isn't that crazy, I can't believe it went by so fast!

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Betsy-Yay for finally getting your referral through! I have my fingers crossed for you.

Karyn-Yay for being done with those shots in two weeks!

Steph-Hope you're well. (hugs)

Melissa-How was yout HSG? And big ((hugs)).

Em-I'm glad I can be a source of hope for you. I see you as my "twin" as well and hope your outcome will be the same and SOON. (((Hugs)))

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I heard from Mel....she had a rough HSG. Very painful. She survived and hopefully will get the results today. =(

Snowie - They are sending me to Redondo Beach!!! You know how far Redondo is!!! I'll update you later.

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Hiya ladies! Thanks for the thoughts. Like Betsy said it was very uncomfortable and painful for me. I didn't think it would be that way and was completely thrown for a loop. I lay on the table after the procedure for a good 20-30 minutes in pain and shaking. I felt violated and although the nurse was very nice to me, talked alot, the doctor didn't have the best bedside manner. I got the impression he wasn't thrilled to be doing what he had to do. He reminded me of a cross between Eugene Levy and that guy who played the teacher in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. eh. It's over now and I have drowned most of my pain in some McDonald's. Thanks again.

Em ~*hugs*

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Melissa - I totally feel for you, I felt the same exact way after my HSG and also felt violated myself. Mine was also very painful and the doctor who did it wasn't the nicest guy either. *Hugs* The worst part is over though and thats the best feeling.

Good morning girls~
I am getting ready to go catch up with Rebecca! YAY! I will try to take a pic to post.

Mel~ My HSG was a complete nightmare. I am sorry to hear yours went so badly. I shook for about an hour after mine and was kept in a recovery room for a while. It was a lot worse than I had ever anticipated too. Atleast it is over! Did they give you any results?

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Good morning, girls! No results yet so if nothing by Monday, I'll give them a call on Tuesday.

Cristina and Lauren ~ Thank you for sharing your experience, I'm glad I'm not alone. I was telling Betsy that I feel like a strong person and can take alot of crap but that procedure just beat me to the floor. I still have a dull pain in my abdomen and the spotting has stopped.

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I just got back from lunch with Rebecca! Goodness I just love her. I wish we all live closer. Here is a picture.
http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g1...S_01/br003.jpg

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Im glad you had such a good time Lauren!

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Hi girls. Just wanted to check in real quick. Dh and I are going home today. I miss my dogs terribly. The weather's been good and we're having a great time. Lunch with Lauren was fantastic, but short. I wish we had more time to chat.

Melissa - I wish your hsg wouldn't have been such a rotten experience. Mine was just about the same way. I thought was I coming right off of that table. Luckily, my doctor did have a good bedside manner, so that helped me some.

Snowie - Good to see you around! Thanks for checking on me. My 2ww has been uneventful, so I'm not very 'hopeful', but I really didn't expect anything anyway. I'll probably get AF Tuesday or Wednesday then go for cd3 b/w and maybe IUI. We'll have to see what happens.

I'll check in with everyone when I get home.

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http://rchiprean.abmp.com/index.html

Lauren and Rebecca ~ Your girls look wonderful! So glad you had a great time.

Thanks, Rebecca.

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Melissa - Sorry about the painful experience. I, along with all the others, had a painful HSG too. My doctor said take 2 Advil Liquid Gelcaps before & I tell you they didn't do a dang thing! I hope Cap'n is taking good care of you this weekend!

Rebecca & Lauren - You guys look great! How fun!

Steph - I missed ROL this morning, I'll have to try & catch it tonight! I always read the weight loss thread, you are doing awesome!! Everyone is so supportive over there!

My weekend has been boring. DH & I were on the couch by 5pm on Friday. Yesterday I helped my younger sister move (I am sore today!) It's 3 here & I have showered already & have my pj's on! I think I need a date night next weekend or something to liven it up!

Hope everyone is having a good weekend! (Or at least a more exciting one than me)

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