Yay Cristina-finally someone to confirm that it happens after the HSG. And I know you were struggling so may be this will be it for us!

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ladies,

Is this site acting really slow for any of you? It took me forever to get here

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*waits to hear from Rebecca*

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Regina- They are extra strength bengay pain relieving patches. The only ingredient is Menthal 5% as a topical analgestic. Is this one that can interfere with O? TIA.

girly- I guess the thing with these is youo can just stick a patch to your skin and go about your day, and it lasts 8 hours. I'm not sure yet if they really help with AF cramps because she is late! She always shows in the morning and I've been wearing this patch all day, it just feels like when you rub icyhot on your skin or something. I'm sure it would help somewhat with cramps though. (((waiting and sighing)))

Lisa- I'm so sorry about the m/c. I hope next time you can have a sticky bean.

Em- That peom made me cry, thanks for sharing. Haven't you posted that one before?

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Lisa- sorry about the MC but knowing you can get pregnant is GREAT news.

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[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]

I'm back. After driving 25 minutes, waiting 25 minutes I only saw him for about 3!! Dh was jacked - he went with me. Anyway, basically he just wanted to tell me that the hsg was good (duh, I knew that!) and asked if we wanted to try for a few months or continue with testing. Next on the schedule is an endometrial biopsy. I have it scheduled for 3/26. I need to call my insurance to see if it's covered. I've received a bill from the hospital and a notice from my insurance telling me that some of the things aren't covered. Plus the receptionist at the doctor's office told me that I have a balance of like $78 because insurance didn't pay all of the fee for the ultrasounds. I guess fertility coverage is limited. If they do cover the biopsy, I will have it done. If that comes back good, he wants to do a lap. Dh cringed when my dr. told him what that was!

What exactly is a lap, anyway?? I know they go in through the belly button to look around, but what are they looking for?? Didn't they see everything on the u/s?

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Well...hmmm...good? I'm having trouble reading your reaction...LOL! Insurance can be such a pain in the a$$. *fingers crossed* that it's covered.

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Steph - I'm kinda indifferent about it these days. I guess I've been in that "I just can't do it anymore" slump, ya know?

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Rebecca - Are you serious?? how are you? I kind of was expecting more. I'm not crazy about the biopsy or the lap. I'm not sure what a lap is but I've heard the word "cut" in relation to lap. And I had read on FF someone losing a tube after a lap. dont' like it. at all. so if someone can give a clear description of what that is without using the word cut I'm all ears/eyes.

Lauren - how were the pics??? We want to see copies!!!!

Emily - Great poem, i shared with a few friends.

heidi - Thanks for the heads up on the HSG. i actually keep forgetting to call to get clarification on mine or to even get what my TSH level is, i don't want to deal with Drs anymore.

Reg - The site was super slow for me this morning, it's fine here from work.

Christina - Thanks he really is. He says that's what he wants to do when he grows up. Not be a movie star but broadway live performances.

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I totally gotcha kid. Like the safe, simple thing is to not say much so you don't have to worry about what other people's expectations of your reactions are...like your friends don't know what to do with you.

Of course, that could just be my stuff. LOL! *pat pat* You're doing alright.

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Steph - honey are you talking to yourself again??? Kiss. BTW saw your post in the other thread...that's all of our blinkies, we earned it!

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And Betsy, good for your little man! My sister just got accepted into grad school...she'll have a masters in theater or acting or something like that. It's a pretty exclusive program and she's really excited. Scholarship and all! She'll get to travel to Moscow to study for a month too. Never know where these things can take you...she was 'Alice' in an elementary school production of 'Alice in Wonderland' when she was about 9...

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ROFLMAO! Moi? Talking to myself? $hit, I don't even know anymore. Maybe what I need permission for most of all is to NOT have to come up with the answers for a while... *MY MIND IS BLOWN*

I'm feeling kinda isolated. And crazy. Or perhaps more sane than in a really long time. I'm really looking into this Generalized Anxiety Disorder thing...it makes spectacular amounts of sense, but at the same time, it throws everything you *thought* you knew before into chaos. It's like having read a book, except at the end you find out all the characters names had been rearranged, and now you have to clear out your mind, go back and read the thing all over again to see what the story really was. Does that make any sort of ridiculous sense?

I'm also wondering if my proceeding through the final grief stages over the past few months has had something to do with this anxiety disorder really surfacing in full force. My grief was always such an easy, reliable, safe-yet-pain-filled place to put anything that resembled anger or sadness or confusion, etc. And then when I started to deal with it all *for real* where did all this anxiety have to go?

Yesterday was a big realization for me. When I started to have an anxiety reaction during putting away the jewelry, I realized, like a bolt of lightening, that THAT feeling (nervous stomach, BP elevated, cold hands, nauseated, etc) is what I've been calling 'angry' for the past handful of years. I would have the feeling, and then identify it as anger, and attach it to the most recent thing that wasn't exactly how I'd like it to be, and let that be the thing that I figured I was angry about. Anyway, I don't think I'm explaining it veyr well, but I'm trying.

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Hi All~
I am back from the photo shoot. We did them at East Carolina, the university here. It was kind of fun, but I am anxious to see the pictures. I asked the photographer, and he said to email the editor, and she should be able to send me some of them. I will post them if I get them.

Rebecca~ From what my RE said about a lap... they do go in through your belly button, and make another incision (or two) in your bikini line. They can see tissues that may be in the way, or causing problems, such as endometriosis, which does not show up on an ultrasound or hsg. When people have tubes remived (like Betsy was saying) it is when there is too much damage to a tube (scar tissue, endo, etc) or possibly a hydrosalpinx (sp?) which is what people refer to as "water tubes," and that is very dangerous, so they sometimes just remove the tube. The RE said that basically going in, they dont know what they will find, so they kind of make a decision about what to do when they get in. If it is simple enough, they can laser off endo, or scar tissue. A lap is my next step after this IUI...

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Betsy - Yes ma'am, that was it! How am I - I'm not sure. I honestly think I am at the end of my ttc rope. It's just been too damn long and I don't know how much more I can do. The good thing is that I'm not angry anymore, but I am still sad. I can't help but wonder why my baby wasn't allowed to have a good life that dh and I would have been able to give. I couldn't even read the poem that Emily posted.

I'll continue with the testing, providing that it is covered by my insurance. I would try clomid and even iui if it came to that, but I wouldn't keep on for months and months........maybe till the end of the summer - that's 6 more months.

Steph - It's not so much about other people's expectations. I think it's more about my expectations and how things just aren't working out as I had hoped and dreamed. My expectations just aren't what they used to be.

Lauren - Thanks for the info. I'm not sure I want to do a lap now..... yikes!

Ya know, he didn't even offer a script for clomid! Although, I didn't ask, either.

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Rebecca~ Would you ever consider clomid? I didn't read the poem either.

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I just wanted to let you girls know that my lap procedure wasn't bad at all. I went home & cleaned my house afterwards (light cleaning of course). They removed alot of endo & adhesions that were causing severe pain. I understand that it is nothing anyone wants to go through but my experience wasn't bad at all. Good luck & I hope you all don't have to go through it.

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