Oh Regina~ I am so sad to read your post! It caught me off guard, and I was not expecting to see you post that. I will miss you terribly, and even if ttc is not what you need right now, I hope you will come back to see US. *hugs*

Well, we got to Charlotte, and guess what? My cousin, whose son turns 1 year old this weekend (which is why we all came, for his 1st birthday) is PREGNANT. Surprise. I am happy for her, and feel kind of bad, because she was worried about telling me, knowing all that we're going through. Even though I am happy for her, it still reminds me of how much this sucks.

__________________

Regina - I want you to know that you have been a wonderful person through all of this and I truly wish you well in the future. I hope some day that you decide to come back, and until then, please keep in mind how many lives you touched here.

I'll miss you.

**hugs**

Regina-HUGS and I'm sorry for what you're going through. You will be missed.

Lauren-HUGS to you as well. It's so hard when those around you get pg. Everyone's afraid to say something. You're happy but it always stings a little knowing what you're going through. Hope you have a good time this weekend. And yours will be coming.

Renee-Congrats!

Well off to go shopping with DH. Tomorrow is my b-day. YAH. But he's also leaving tomorrow for work out of town So I'll be all by myself for my birthday. So I plan on treating myself to whatever I want!

__________________

Heidi - Go to the spa!!!

Lauren - what's funny is when you mentioned it was a 1 year birthday party i was going to say that I wouldn't have gone.

I'm dreading today. One of Jonathan's stepmom's cousins, her name is Jen. She has a son Jonathan's age and she has a 3 yr old, an 15 mo old, a 3 mo old and she's pregnant. She has had 3 pregnancies in the time we've been TTC. She bugs me each time she sees me. Pats my stomach, makes loud comments, asks me if my period is late. It's been a year since I've seen her. Oh & let's not forget the fact that she still looks hot, is a SAHM (I'm jealous) and her husband makes bank! So she is full of Coach, Tiffany and her Lexus. URG!!!!!!! Well today our son's play against each other in baseball. My only consolation is her husband is ugly and so are her kids.

Good thing I'm not bitter. I still need to buy a BBT today

__________________

Betsy, you make me laugh Enjoy your wonderful son and dh... her home life may secretly be hell.

Buffett~ Thanks for the hugs. *hugs* back

__________________

Regina- I am sorry to see you leave.

I hope all is well with you girls.

__________________
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]

Gina...

__________________

Regina, I will pray that you are able to find peace once again and that you can find it in yourself to come to terms with whatever the Lord has planned for you. I know it is great things for you are a great person. Please dont totally lose touch.

__________________

Renee -- Congratulations!!!

Regina -- I'm sorry to see you go. You will be missed...

Betsy -- How was the baseball game and how did you make out with Jonathan's friends mom?

Gem -- How are you doing?

Hi to everyone else. I'm sitting at work right now. I'm bored and I'm crampy. Only two more days to go. I was supposed to test this morning, but remembered after I peed! Oh well. Maybe tomorrow morning if I remember. It's kind of hard to remember at 5:30 in the morning. I'm not expecting a BFP though. I just don't feel it.

__________________

girly - I'm....ok. Danny has been in Florida with my grandma helping her unpack since Tuesday afternoon. He'll probably be back Tuesday or Wednesday. I'm missing him pretty severely, but we needed OUT of the pressure cooker. I think we're close to making some decisions and changes that will dramatically improve everything, but there's going to be a lot of work toward putting ourselves, our marriage, and our friendship and trust back together. I believe with all my heart. I believe enough for the both of us. I can forgive. I have faith.

This is my first cycle off clomid in 8 months. I'm wondering how it has contributed to my general mental health state, and how things are going to be different. I've started taking aspirin everyday, since I remembered that my blood clots REALLY fast just a few weeks ago. I'm going to be looking into progesterone supplements, cream, or perhaps pill form, I just haven't explored it yet.

I'm reading up on everyone, and sending love to y'all every day, but except for a small handful, I feel like no one really knows what to do with me. Hell, I don't really know what to do with me right now. It's ok, I do feel a bit out of place around here. I'm pulling for you, and everyone though, as much as ever, and trying to feel out the right course of action for me.

And my husband and I have recently decided/discovered that we think I have an anxiety disorder (GAD - generalized anxiety disorder). And perhaps a very, VERY mild form of autism. Some strange pieces just fell into place recently...weird, huh? Anyway, in either case, I'm extremely high-functioning, so there's no major rush to do anything with either of them (though the anxiety thing can cause problems), I'm learning to manage them with some work and a bit of valium.

Thanks for asking, a whole handful of you have asked how I am. O day is on Sunday/Monday, and DH will still be in Florida, so there's no pressure for me there. Another month of not having to think about it too much. Yay. Then, next month, because of how my cycle has fallen, I DON'T actually have to take off next month, because my due date wouldn't be until the first week of January -- after all the retail jewelry Hell is over.

I'm under water at work, too much jewelery appraisals and too much bookkeeping -- not enough time to do either. It's like trying to fit two 3/4 time jobs into one full time schedule. NOT helping my anxiety.

Tax return came in -- helping clear up a few bills. Yay. DH has obviously not gone back to work (since he's in Florida), but it's fortunate that he could go, since no one else could.

Probably a lot more info than any of you wanted, but...sometimes the walls come crashing down...

SO, uh...the answer is...I'm ok. Thanks.

__________________

Gem -- I'm glad things are working out for you. Why do you feel out of place here? I don't think you should. Is it because of the actual thread, or just in general?

__________________

No, just on the ttc board when my DH and I are having so much trouble, and barely having physical contact. We've not exactly been on the baby train for the past month, you know? I don't know, everyone got so angry at him for me at first, and I just couldn't handle it and said 'I can't talk about this anymore right now', and ever since then, I've felt a little weird.

My own stuff most probably -- not anything anyone is doing wrong. A lot has changed around here (the old timer's club) in the past two months. Feeling a bit left behind, I guess, on top of everything else. But that's kind of like I've felt my whole life anyway...like a spectator.

I'm really pulling for you, gg.

__________________

Hi everyone! I'm sorry I haven't been on much. This weekend I am getting my Doula training. It has been intense, but amazing. But guess what............"I GOT INTO MEDICAL SCHOOL!" wahoo!

Regina - I am thinking about you.

Betsy - I agree with lauren! You know what your home life is like, but not hers. Ugh, I hate the cutesy "is your period late?" you can reply with "NO! it's cycle day 6 and I don't O until 18, would you like a report next time af comes?"

Lauren - How are you?

Steph - HUGS

__________________

Kayla- I am so happy for you! I knew you would make it into med school.

__________________

Thank you leena! You are the sweetest thing! sending you *labor dust*

__________________

Kayla, I was just thinking about that today! Congratulations!!!!! You are going to be a great doctor someday

__________________

Kayla - omg that is wonderful news. so awesome.

Lauren - Nah, she has a pretty happy home life too. She's having another girl so I heard today that they will be going for another one right after.

Girlie- Thanks for asking. I succeeded in avoiding her. We stayed on opposite ends of the field, didn't even wave hello. Two of her little girls did come to our side of the field. Once the game was over I rushed Jr and we were outta there. So are you going to test in the morning? When is AF due?

Steph - Just like any relationship - it will be tough for "us" to "forgive" "him". That's true for offline friends too. And I'll give an example in a bit. It sucks for us to see you suffer through this. I can only speak for myself but I think I was most upset cause you were already working on getting yourself "together" and it was just bad timing. Having 2 unsuccessful marriages under my belt. I know that there are alot of ups and downs. And I hope your relationship will come out stronger because of it.

So for my example. Tomorrow we are going to a farewell dinner for my best friend. Every time I think about it I have to have a breakdown that is usually reserved for AF day. She's been talking about leaving CA for years but now she's doing it. And I am distraught.

When I moved to California she was preg with her 1st child, then I got preg, then she got preg, then I got divorced, then she got divorced, then she feel in love again, then I fell in love again, then she got pregnant, I told her she was crazy, I got married, she told me I was crazy, I started TTC, and then the man she's in love with gave her a beating that left her in the hospital. It wasn't pretty. Apparently this was a regular thing and she had kept it a secret from me. She used to be the most independant, financially secure woman I knew. Now she's moving to Atlanta with a man who doesn't work, who has not only cheated on her on a regular basis but given her an STD. She has obviously forgiven him, I have not. I am the only friend who he has "allowed" her to stay in touch with. So I have no choice but to suck it up and be nice. It will be very very difficult. Especially if I'm drinking and emotional.

And I bought my BBT today - tomorrow is going to suck.

__________________