AWE! Thank you everybody! I have been so busy with school and moving stuff and the excitement of med school that I don't even KNOW what CD I'm on! I have not temped in quite a while, and I have to say it is great. DH and I have had the best wild monkey sex in a long time too here lately! With traffic the med school is only 25 minutes from door to parking lot. (That is why we moved here, high hopes I would get in.) I will start in mid August. Graduate in 2011. Then specialize after that. Whew, the road is LONG! But I PROMISE to practice FOR women, not for money! I have learned SOOOO much from you ladies. You have been a great support for me. Oh yeah, I cancelled the lap/hsg. I was feeling too uneasy with how rough the doctor was. I need a gentle touch.

Lauren - You always look so cute in your pictures! I'm sorry about the meltdown. Your DH sounds like he reacts a lot like mine. Just holds you then later at a random time ask if your okay. Aren't they cute!?

Betsy - I love to hear you so positive! I think you are right about spring. I read an article once about sunlight being necessary for fertility, so maybe spring/summer will be just what the doctor didn't order! Oh yeah, you and steph have some insomnia problems right? In my biochem class today my professor said she takes (and gives her kids, haha) Melatonin in the evenings. It is all natural. You know how turkey has lots of Tryptophan (an amino acid) in it, well that is metabolized in the body to Melatonin which gives you the urge to sleep. So, my professor said it is great because it has no ill side effects, good ones actually (more than 60 times a better antioxidant than vitamins C and E, and a cancer supressor). What your body can't use, you will pee out. Anyways, I thought you might be interested.

Girly - I am SOOOO hopeful for you this month! My fingers are crossed for you.


Thanks to all you pregnant girls for keeping an eye on us over here, that is so sweet.

Hi to everyone else!

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Kayla, after taking melatonin for a long time I found out it is a natural birth control. So if you are thinking of taking it do it only on rare occasions.

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Lisa - That is good to know! I am not planning on taking it b/c I already have a buffet of pills to take, LOL! My prof. didn't mention any of that, yet I don't think she is TTC (sounds like she has her hands plenty full!)

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<chuckle> How funny. I was being positive more for you guys than for me! With 7 million count my case is hopeless without the IUI. But so far we are still on track for April.

Lauren - I'm glad your DH is supportive, sometimes after so many crying episodes they don't know what to do with us. I love your pics...btw what nationality are you?

Emily - Juan cutting on the drinking is a great step, hopefully he will be able to see the sunshine too and see what a difference it makes in your relationship.

Rebecca - I'm kinda glad you cancelled the biopsy - anything that involved cutting I'm just not keen on. woohoo for a good romp!!! It's funny how a good romp makes you see your relationship so much clearly....like a reverse drug.

Lisa - I O on St. Patrick's Day so if a lepruchan gives my hubby super spermies I'll name my child Patrick O'Neil Rodriguez.

Girly - OMG you are making me batty! I hope you have good news for us tomorrow. You have no idea how much I need you to be pregnant.

Heidi - Yes before the IUI I felt the same roller coaster ride. Would be really angry when AF arrived, then hopeful during O then back down again.

Kayla - Yes I used to take Melatonin in my early 20's when I was bicoastal. Worked wonderfully. But I don't take anything now. I just work through it. You really do get used to it. I'm not tired or anything. I can't believe you cancelled your appt too. It's funny how we were all on this path with Dr. appt and now we are pulling back a bit.

I do my HSG tomorrow. Yuck. My appt is at 2 p.m, I have all these dreams of doing stuff afterwards since I'll be out of work early but not sure if that's going to work in my favor or not. I hate the thought of being touched by anyone. But gotta do it. I'm hating temping again. But I do kinda wish I temped last month cause it looks like based on my luteal phase I O'd on day 11. Oing that early on a regular basis, makes me nervous.

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Betsy-Good luck with your HSG tomorrow! I hope you have clear tubes & it is painless. I will be thinking of you.

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Betsy~Good luck today.

Betsy - good luck with your HSG today!

Lauren - RAC and I talk about our dogs all the time. DH and I lost our black lab about 2 months into TTC (before we knew about our fertility issues). We swore no more dogs until we have kids...yeah right! Needless to say, Winston- our yellow lab - has no idea he is a dog. I seriously think I care for him like he is my baby!!!! Poor DH - he wanted a hunting dog!!!

Edit...Like RAC said - they benefit from all the love we have to give. And, they give it back! My pooch knows just what to do when I am feeling down...sit next to me and let me pet him! There are mornings I probably would not have gotten out of bed during this whole ordeal if I didn't have to walk him!

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Jen

BFN.....

So, the crying fit has not hit me yet. I was just mad and angry this morning after taking the test. I took two, one Publix brand and one Clearblue easy. Stomach feels all rumbly, like she will make her appearance today. Not looking forward to next cycle with injections.

Betsy -- Good luck with your HSG today.

Lauren -- Love the pics.

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Girly, I'm so sorry It's okay to have a crying fit. And a bunch of margaritas too.

Besty, good luck today. I'm sure it will go perfectly and it will be something you can check off your list. I felt so much better knowing that my tubes were okay.

Lauren, you are so pretty. I said it before but you just have the most beautiful skin.

Rebecca - yay to good sex! I know exactly what you mean!

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Girlygirl, so sorry, hopefully it is too early and you will still get that BFP, praying for you.

Lauren you look so natural feeding him, you will make a wonderful Mother one day soon.

Jend and RAC I agree our animals are good outlets of our love.

Betsy, hope all goes well.

Heidi we all have the ups and downs, just hang on and we will get through this together.

Kayla I understand why you cancelled, sometimes we need to do what we think is best. Good luck to you!

Regina missing you here, we need your support and your friendship!

Hello to all I may not have addresssed!

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Girly - I know what you are feeling. I am so sorry. But I held on to any bit of hope until AF showed. And even then I had some psycho moments when i thought well maybe this heavy flow is implantation bleeding? I was very angry too and bitter for quite a few weeks after. Remember a few of the girls here didn't get their BFP until 16 dpo and i think there was one that was 18 dpo.

Thank you girls for the well wishes. I'm more stressed cause I have a client flying in from San Rafael at 10:30 and I have to leave work at 1 p.m so hopefully that client visit will be quick and painless too!

I'm a little nervous about the HSG - yes cause of the procedure but also if something is wrong...that means I made the wrong gamble by doing the IUI first. And then I'm going to be really pissed that I made that decision.

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Betsy it will be fine, praying all is well! Good luck with the HSG!

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Good morning all~
Nothing exciting for me to report here. I wish af would come on, so I can start a new cycle.

Betsy~ I will be thinking about you today! It will make you feel better to know something more, from the hsg. I am thinking positive thoughts that it will be easy and painless for you!!! BTW, I am white. Very white. I have no exciting cultural diversity in my family. I think since I colored my hair so dark, it gives me sort of an ethnic look???

Girly~ I am so sorry! I know how it feels. You can help but be a little more hopeful when you do an IUI. Even when you try not to get your hopes up too much. AF is not here yet, so hold on to your crying for her arrival. **hugs**

Lisa~ You are very sweet. I loved being able to hold him and play with him.

Em~ Thank you! My skin is very DRY!

Jen~ I love animals! I just can't decide if it will be too many...

Leena~ Yes, he is a doll! WHITE hair and really blue eyes!

Cristina~ Thank you!

Kayla~ I want to see more pictures of your new house!

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Betsy - Hang in there and if - IF - there is some blockage, don't be mad at yourself. You've been doing what you and dh feel has been best for the two of you. Loads of luck today!!

Girlygirl..... hugs for you!

Lauren - I know what you mean about 'how many' pets. If I had a bigger house, I would definitely have a second dog. For now, though, one cat and one dog are plenty. It's bad enough that Tehva takes up most of a king size bed.

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Betsy – thinking of you today. Thanks for your thoughts. I always hear you speaking from a point of honesty completely without judgment – so refreshing.

Kayla – thanks for the hugs, always needed. Congrats to you!

Kelly – It’s just a fledgling thought, but there are all these little traits that I have…almost silly and cliché, like rocking during times of stress for comfort, trouble with what I perceive to be inappropriately loud noise levels, OCD habits (like tracing my own fingers with another finger, or in my head), an uncanny ability to ‘know’ the number of things (like picking up the exact number of envelopes I need for a stack of papers). I don’t know, I’ve actually forgotten some of what we talked about. Always having the high IQ, parts of my brain working so fast. It’s a really interesting line of thought.

Lauren – {{{hugs}}}

Em – I’m feeling so positive for you, yay for good changes.

Rac – oh, I’m glad for you – it sounds like a new little layer peeled away – another shift toward peace in your soul. I’ve more to say to you, but it’s coming later when I have some time today.

Lisa – Thank you for thinking of me honey, and for your prayers. I wish I could stand in front of you and hug your neck.

Girly - *holding out hope* and sending you great big squeezes, either way.

Cristina – Hi! Have I mentioned how happy I am for you? Thanks for thinking of me.

Well, I just passed my first CD13-14-15 of my first cycle off clomid in 8 months. I had EWCM CD13 in the evening, all the way through afternoon on CD15. Clomid DEFINITELY caused a CM problem for me. I’m on an aspirin regimen, and I’m going to be watching for any change when AF comes in two weeks, to check for consistency or amount changes.

Danny is still in Florida, but he should be on his way in another day or two, so hopefully, tomorrow night or Thursday, he’ll be home. I’m missing him. And anxious – positively and negatively – to do some more work on the marriage. I’ve done a lot of work on the new house in the past few days, and started getting ‘homey’ stuff (a pretty ceramic pot with rosey colored eucalyptis [no clue how to spell that] to match the blues in the living room, couch pillows, a rug for the kitchen, a new bookshelf). I think it’s really going to do a lot for him when he gets back. I bought amber a new dresser for her birthday, she was so excited. She wanted a digital camera, but I thought the dresser would help her make ‘home’ feel like ‘home’ again, to get her room set up (don’t forget, she got dragged around a month ago – her room is still in shambles). She had a built in wardrobe in the last house, so she didn’t have a dresser. Anyway, she’s feeling positive, and things just FEEL better. I’m feeling more positive than I have in a while.

Anyone know who Joel Osteen is? He’s a pastor who does televised sermons – which usually I shy away from, because it’s so ‘bible-babble’, but he talks about CONCEPTS, and relates things to life. I like him. Anyway, I stumbled across a sermon I hadn’t seen before the other night, about relationships, and not expecting to get all your needs filled from one person (your spouse), and that you can’t expect your spouse to keep you ‘fixed’. And if you focus on the things that irritate you, they become magnified (which hit home for me, since I examine gemstones and diamonds all day and use magnification tools). Anyway, it was one of those ‘messages in due time’. I think it contributed a lot to this new mood I’m in.

Big {{{squeezes}}} for everyone.

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Steph - Sounds like you have a new layer peeled away, too. I can tell by what I read that you are in better spirits!

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