Lauren - I know right now you're in that place where it seems like nothing is going right for you, but it will. Like Betsy said, it's okay to be angry, sad and unable to 'deal'. This is all a part of the process. You've been though so much and a lot of it has just been devastating. Do not for one second allow yourself to feel guilty for not being able to 'enjoy' being around other people's kids right now. These feelings are all very normal and nothing to be ashamed of or guilty about. I've been there - and still have my days.

{{hugs}} for you.

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Lauren, honey, I'm sorry. I think Betsy gave you great advice. Big hugs. I hope you'll be able to enjoy your trip.

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Bec ~ Nice ink. I forgot to look on Sunday when I was visiting my dad. Purty.

Irene ~ I think it was you who mentioned about being surprised w/Daniel and wanting to go, etc.

The big answer is, there are some things that are VERY complicated about being in San Antonio, and if we have a snowball's chance in hell, we have to leave. There is A LOT that will stay behind in the city. Some things that won't. But even if I snuck off in the middle of the night and never told a soul, there are things I would carry with me anywhere I went. SO, I have to see. I'M GOING though. He literally said the words yesterday, 'Yes, I'm going'. We'll see...

But, I already have made contact with a jewelry professional in the St. Pete area! She emailed me back immediately, and actually was asking me salaray requirements, etc. How perfect would that be? She's a GG (GIA Graudate Gemologist) too, and she even used to live in Texas! She's the president of a newly developed central Florida GIA Alumni chapter (that's how I got my first real job out of school, I was in with and went to work for the Lone Star chapter Alumni president!). Wouldn't that be ironic?

Anyway, I feel a bit better about all this. I only started thinking it a week or so ago. And the stars seem to be starting to align to point me in that direction.

*whew*

Sorry I'm so self-centered right now; I can't remember what is going on with everyone. Lauren, I'm sorry you are going through a down phase and are frustrated; I think you are handling all of this like a goddess. I love you all. I always think of you. And you are all welcome to come visit me at the beach.

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Steph glad to see you looking to the future, praying it works out for you with a new start.

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And Bec...I hesitated to mention this but it's the first thing I thought of this morning when I awoke...I had a dream about you last night. I've never dreamt about you, or anyone on the site before. We were in a big hospital, Brad was there too, and you were going to get an u/s done and told the nurse you wanted me to come in with you and Brad. I was there for some other reason of my own too, I don't know why. I don't remember much more, other than I was carrying this pillow around with me everywhere, a regular bed-pillow, holding it by the short end under my arms folded across my chest just under my boobs so the pillow was dangling all the way down my front. Weird...hmmm? You had longer hair too.

And thanks Lisa, and everyone. Forgot that part.

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Hmmm, Steph - that is odd...

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Thanks for all the sweet words. We're home now, and it feels so nice to be with just me, dh, and the steps. Tomorrow is DH and my anniversary, and I am hoping for some quiet time with just us. The kids will be at their mom's house for dinner.

Bec~ Cool tattoo! ((hugs)) my friend. I wish we lived closer.

Steph~ Sounds like it may be a good opportunity for you! If doors are opening easily, maybe you should walk through them???

Em~ I am so happy to see you. How are you and Juan?

Lisa & Sarah~ If I had thought about it I would have said something sooner about being in Charlotte. DH had tickets to The Cure concert, so we went and stayed for a few days. I will let you know if I come back that way again!

Bets~ I want more details about your meeting!

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Good evening everyone. Good to be back on the boards except that I'm still stuck here on the infertility thread. I see some of the old timers made it through. Yayyy! Sorry to those of you who are still here. I too have my good days and bad days. I guess some days are easier to cope and others, it seems like I get mad at the world and don't want to be around anyone. I haven't continued TTC while I was gone. At some times I would avoid it. Now I leave it up to God if it ever happens. Either way it already kind of sucks. Well, it sucks if I can never have another baby, even if I do have a baby, I'm 38. Probably would be 39 by the time I would even have the baby. Not getting any younger.

Anyways, I have a question for anyone who has went through this. Apparently I have..."Again seen right ovarian cyst measuring 4.6 cm that contains 1 small mural nodule measuring 1 cm". These are the Dr's words. In 6 months the Dr wants to recheck me again to see how much it's grown and most like do surgery.
Have any of you had to have this done and what could I expect? Did you go under anesthesia? How long did the procedure take? How long was recovering time? Sorry to ask so many questions. I've always been deathly afraid of surgery. Thank you to anyone who can help.

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Gina - It's so good to see you posting again!! I wish I could give you some info about the cyst, but I don't have anything to share.

Lauren - Me too!

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Gina do you have something like call a nurse where you can call and ask a professional those questions.

Happy anniversary Lauren, hope you two have a wonderful day together.

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Gina-Wow it's good to see you again. I had a cyst back in October about the same size. But they think it was from clomid. I went back on BCP for a month and it went away. I do have a cyst on the outside of my ovary but the RE had told me it was called a "functional" cyst and nothing that was in the way so we never did anything about it. He said it's likely been there for a long time. I had a polyp removed in Jan through a Hysteroscopy. I was back to normal activities within about 48 hours. Minimal pain....felt like AF cramps with bleeding. A couple of the people between here and the other board did Laps recently and can give you some input. Good luck!

Hi girls!

Lauren - Hugs. I hope your vacation is nice and relaxing for you!

Melissa - Did AF show yet? Wow - that's a while to be spotting. I usually started off & ended my cycles with spotting. This cycle I had none in the beginning, I'm hoping it's the same towards the end.

Steph - The way it's looking right now, I will be in the St. Petersburg area in December!

Irene - Hi! I'm so glad to be TTC again!

Gina - Hi! I had a lap in January. Going under was fine and I was nervous because it was my first time! It took a bit longer than expected because my doctor found endo. Because your doctor would know ahead of time what he needs to do when he gets inside, he should be able to tell you a time frame. Recovery was ok. The first 2 days I was sore & I had shoulder pains from the gas they use. I was bloated for about 6 or 7 days. Way better than my HSG for sure! I was scared because I had never broke any bones, had stitches or had surgery. It went well!

Snowie - Thanks!

Rebecca - Wow - did I read it right that school will done in September? So close!

Lisa - Hi!

Deanna - HI!

My nephew is wearing me out! It's go-go-go from 7am until bedtime!

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Karyn ~ Too cool! Visiting for sure!

Lauren ~ Thanks, I'm practically RUNNING through them now. I told my dad last night that I was seriously serious. He said it would make his life a lot easier and laughed. So he knows I'm serious -- he said he wasn't sure if I was having a bad day when I mentioned it last week. I told him I already have promising job potentials popping up... So this is really happening. Dad's on board. He said he'd rather have me there than someone else anyway.

Gina, that sucks about the cyst -- I have a friend who's had several, I can ask her if no one else around here knows. I'm almost positive someone has had one...

And everyone else, hi and thanks for the support. I know there are fingers crossed for me that life improves, no matter what exactly that means.

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Karyn - Yes, September 18 is my last day of class. I will be celebrating that weekend for sure!!! It's good to have you back on the ttc wagon!!

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Kayrn good to see you back TTC with us, so you are getting your exercise too with your Nephew? How old is he? Good practice for you.

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Well...no turning back now.

My dad and I decided for sure last evening. I told the guy who owns my house last night. And...*drum roll*...I just told my boss.

August 1st.

Daniel is supposed to be checking tonight about transferring protocol (there are two Walmarts in St. Petersburg.

I feel relieved.

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Wooohooo Steph!