I know Em...I have to be different though. It's part of my charm.

No men. No 'happily ever after' for me like that. The white knight would have to work too hard on me, so he'd give up anyway and ride off alone into the sunset. I'm not gettin' any younger either, so I don't really have time to wait around. I'd rather just go somewhere with my somehow-procured child or two, tell people I'm widowed or something, and live in my bubble. Or a beach in Aruba...drunk...always a possibility.

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Steph- Well, there ya go. Sounds to me like you already have what you need and know what it takes. I think you are more than ready. You really ARE a Goddess in our eyes, girl.

Oh, and you aren't all that far away-If you want to play tourist in Santa Fe, Let me know, gotta spare room .

And I completely agree with Em for staying married for stubborness. It's time for a clean slate for you....I think you are wrong about your 'happily everafter' though. But I think drunk Aruba sounds like a perfect place to heal.

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forgive me for making light...but you can't be drunk with your procured children... (((((((((hugs))))))))))

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Exactly, you're not getting any younger, so time to move on. The heart has an amazing capacity to love again even when we think it's impossible. Besides, maybe you'll meet a nice native dutchboy in Aruba and fall in love and you won't be able to have him return to the states with you if you're still married. I however highly recommend the Dominican Republic for hot guys, drinking, and dancing your cares away, still married or not. Plus, it's closer and cheaper than Aruba.

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It's okay Cass, it made me laugh. I KNOW that.

Claire ~ I'm a very stubborn person. I've spent so long and have so much anger...maybe someday when it doesn't matter anymore. But not any time soon. No, Santa Fe, isn't too far (relatively speaking; I AM in the middle of Texas after all...) My ex-boyfriend lives in Santa Fe. But he's an a$$.

Hey, maybe that's what I'll do: go stay with my girlfriend and stuff money into savings for a while, tell them to shove it at this job, then run around the country visiting y'all.

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Hey, anywhere I can scuba, sit on the beach with a margarita, and get nice and tan by the water, I'm good with.

I have a friend in Columbia I always wanted to have a physical fling with, maybe I'll go visit him. And I have a girlfriend in the Philippines. Hell, I could turn this trip into an around the world thing.

I don't know. First thing's first, I guess. Gotta get out of the house.

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Now THAT'S a plan!!!! And yes, I know you're stubborn, you'd have to be to go through what you've been through. It's just my observation that you have babysat your husband and his kids for long enough and they somehow win if you stay connected, KWIM? I could be WAY off.

Uh, oh. An a$$ of an ex, here? Hope I don't know him!

What me to off him for ya? Or the current one, for that matter?

Cassie-LOL, drunk with procured kids.

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He works in production for the newspaper, that's all I'll say. I called him in hysterics a handful of months ago in mid-February, just looking for someone to be kind to me, and he ended up arguing me to the floor and telling me I was "being a bitch". Apparently he thought that was appropriate to say to me since HE was finally over ME (we've known each other for about 15 years). So, if he were to trip on a rock and fall into a cavern...well wouldn't that be a shame. People who will kick you when you are really down belong in the eighth level of hell, IMO.

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Steph I changed my mind. You should go to Playa Del Carmen. That's where I went when I ran away from my marriage to regroup my thoughts. It's the best place in the world to be female. Small town, so you get to know everyone so fast. SO.MANY.FREE.DRINKS. I even know the best hotel where you can stay for an entire month for like $400 that has a kitchen, air conditioning, private bathroom, a little balcony that overlooks their tiny pool. It's run by a bunch of Irish guys. Corona is a buck, drinks $2, people are so friendly.

I highly recommend running away. I know it can be hard to do, but Mexico is awfully close to Texas. It was the best thing I ever did for myself.

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OH! I know Playa del Carmen! I heard a few years ago that it was turning into the best kept Texas vacation secret around; cheap to get to! San Antonio DOES have an international airport... I may just be getting that hotel info from you before too long...

I'm a water baby. Someone asked me about doing something for myself the other day, and all I could get on the list was seeing Sex and the City, the new Indiana Jones movie, and something to do with water. None of which I've done. I'm a big time water baby. In our five years in Europe, I probably played in half the fountains there. Water has always fascinated and calmed me.

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Steph- The newspaper, huh? SF is small enough we only have one, som I'm on it, girl.......on my way to a cavern on a stalking mission. And yes, I agree for people who will kick you when you are down.

Emily- YES!!!! that's the spot, that's the spot right there. I went there on my honeymoon (not to detract from it being a place to run away to) It is most beautiful there. EXCELLENT place to be! And Steph-Mexico is CHEAP, too! Can you find a Thelma to your Louise? Like NOW?

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Claire - I was there for a month! I had gone earlier that same year with a girlfriend for a week's vacation, fell in love with it, and knew I'd be back. A few weeks later I had quit my job and run away and spent a month down there. That pic is actually Tulum, but it's close enough

I miss it sooooo much. I think I knew everyone in the entire town by the time I left. There are a lot of honeymooners, but there is also a language school there so single people there of all ages, and a lot of expats from all over the world who go to teach scubadiving, so it was super international. I had a fling with a Swiss guy while I was down there, but met dudes from Ireland, Britain, Holland, and of course, too many spicy latin guys to count. Awesome!

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Heck, it's a cruise ship port, I believe, I could get a job in one of the jewelry stores and LIVE there...

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You would so be my hero if you did that Steph!!! I don't remember cruise ships. I thought that was more Cozumel, but that's just a 15 minute ferry ride away anyway. I would love to live in Playa. Since my DH is Mexican, maybe someday we will!

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Well, I think they just stop into Playa del Carmen for supplies or whatever, I don't know. I just remember vaguely a quick stop there before Cozumel on the cruise I went on (with aforementioned a$$ ex-boyfriend who may fall into a cavern). So I could live in Playa del Carmen and work in Cozumel? 15 minute ferry ride? Hmmm....

I need to learn more Spanish.

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Okay, so after learning more Spanish, I'll spend half the year living in Playa and working in Cozumel and stock-piling cash, and everyone can come visit me, and the rest of the year traveling around visiting y'all.

There's pretty good money in the cruise ship business. Mostly cause it's hard to spend, and you don't have the same kind of living expenses as other people.

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Well, yeah our cruise ship stopped in both Playa and Cozumel. I don't remember there being much in Playa in the way of stores. Em- I thought that ws Tulum, there.

Now, yes Steph there's like 10 billion jewelry stores in Cozumel. The diamonds were all so cheap (I guess, I dont' buy diamonds) and I was so happy to talk to a woman in the jewelry store who spoke english more like a first language. Yep, you