Deanna - Don't count yourself out! The cycle we conceived Estrella we only BD two times, once on the 31st of January and once on the 1st of February and that was it. And I believe I ovulated roughly 5 or so days later.

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Cristina~Thanks for the positive vibes you sent my way!! If my test was really positive on Friday and Saturday....then I bet i'd being O'ing really soon. I plan to BD again tonight and I hope I can find something out tomorrow. My Dr is off tomorrow, so she can't read my results until Tuesday. But I want to know TOMORROW!!! Especially if I haven't and its really close. I don't have any signs of O'ing except for my test possibly being positive. Clomid can throw the results off too I thought. I've had weird cramps too and its way way to early for AF to show again. After I O i've noticed that I start spotting 4 DPO. So if I don't spot and I already did really O, then that would be a good sign. ahhh, all the signs you look at!!! I'm going to indulge myself in chocolate chips cookies and ice cream soon as DH gets back!!

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Hi ladies. Quiet around here today!

Hope everyone had a great weekend.

My dad is coming to stay with me for a week and I'm sort of stressed out about it. I love my dad, but he's really kind of gone whacko and I am so busy at work. One good thing is I will be getting a ride to work so I won't have to walk the 5 blocks from the parking garage in freezing weather!!

Just over two weeks until I go back to Mexico! Yay!!

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I'm so frustrated and fed up with doctor's appts. I had my check up with my endo for my thyroid. And my level is back up to 3.1. Over the last year it has continued to creep back up. Last January it was finally ideal at 1.5. Since then it has steadily increased.

I'm tired of appts, getting my blood drawn and now a surgery. For what?! I feel like I've spent the last year or so of my life doing this. Sorry to be such a downer but I'm just really fed up. I feel like I'm doing all of this for nothing. It's not going to change things and the outcome is going to be the same....still not pg. Sometimes I wonder how much longer should I keep doing this.

We talked about wanting to take a vacation some where, which is much needed. But all I can focus on is where I'd be at in a cycle and would be in the middle of another medicated cycle. This is ridiculous. I've got to stop planning my life around cycle days.

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Hi everyone!

Deanna - I wouldn't think you would have a hard time at all getting the tech to tell you if you O'd already. When I had my u/s, she said right away looks like your going to be O'ing today or tomorrow. At least once you find out, you won't be stressed about it! Get that BD in & good luck!
Tubing is so fun! I went with my sister & my nephew & he has a HUGE tube that is awesome. He kept getting mad at me for stealing it & going down the hill!

Emily - It's like a ghost town today! I hope your visit from your dad goes well & it's not stressful! Is it before or after your trip to Mexico?

Heidi - Everything I read in your post was exactly what has gone through my head the past week (except the thyroid thing). I don't have any words of wisdom & I know what it feels like to be frustrated over this surgery thing. The only thing that has put me at some ease, is that is if I don't go through with the Lap & it still doesn't happen for us, I will always wonder why & blame in on that I didn't do the Lap. I'm sure it will come back "normal". Which will make me wonder why I did even go through with it, but that's okay. Plus this is pretty much the last test they can probably do right? So I figure once this is out of the way, then we can just move on to treatments or whatever. It blows big time that we can't be a "I got sneezed on & got pregnant" girl but once it does happen for all of us, those babies are going to be so loved for what their mommies (all of us) went through just to bring them here!

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Thanks Tina & Karyn, it is much better already. I think I'll be ready to work tomorrow.

Heidi~ I know exactly what you mean! I feel the same way. Like maybe should I just say forget it and see what happens or will I regret that in about 3 yrs. when I have wasted valuable time. I don't know what to do either. I guess I'll go ahead and call and make my appt. I started crying in Wal-Mart because AF is coming and I see all these women with their children everywhere and I'm thinking to myself do they appreciate what they have? I just want to say pay attention to her and enjoy the time you have with her. Esp. when they act like the kids are the last thing they want to be taking care of. It's so hard.

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Is it normal to have PMS at like 3 or 4 dpo? How could that even be giving my body time to say nope not fertilizing this time! What day ater O would fertilization happen?

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Thanks Karyn and Kimberly-I know I will kick myself if I didn't go through with all of this. I already was kciking myself for not doing the lap back in July when we first met with the RE.

I think I'm also anticipating a crappy day at work tomorrow.....one of my staff members is returning after being off with his wife for their second baby. I hate hearing all the stories and then the whining on top of it about being tired. I would love nothing more than to be tired from being up all night with a baby! Thank god I only have to be there for 1 day this week!!!

And Karyn you're right that our babies are going to be so loved and probably spoiled!

Kimberly-I personally start haing PMS at about 7DPO. That's when I usually feel bloated and start the bitching for no reason.

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Heidi and Kimberly~ Sorry you guys are having such a rough time. I completely believe that everyone on this side will be (or are already) EXCELLENT mothers. I know most people take fertility for granted, and I'm sorry that the world has to be the way it is. I think of everyone on this side often, and pray that some day soon you'll all be holding your sweet babies in your arms. And I agree with you both - you'd regret it if you gave up now. You never know what or how many babies are waiting in heaven for you. ***hugs***

PS- I feel like I have PMS symptoms ALL the time now! Wish I could help with that one.

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Hi everyone! I just got home from shopping with DH and my sister. Frustrating day cause everywhere we needed to go, we got stopped by trains. DH was irrate a few times! So my dr appt went well. I was so happy when I left. So cool to see things on that screen! Now if only there was something living in there! I have lots of eggs in my right side with one really big one and then I have one really big one on my left side. So i'm assuming 2 good ones...one from each side. She said my lining is about a 9 right now which is good. I don't know whats good or whats bad with lining. Since we could see my eggs, that means I haven't o'd yet. Right? I'll keep at the Bd'ing!! Time to clean my drywall dust filled house!

Hope everyone had a good weekend

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Deanna~ Glad you got good news!!

I just got an email from a friend.......guess what?!?!?! She's pregnant!! I think I feel a meltdown coming soon....

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Hi girls. It's been a crazy weekend! Saturday, dh and I went to lunch with Deby (gratton - for those of you who remember her), her dh and Rhylee. We had a great time. We just hung out in the evening while I did some studying. I have two quizzes and a test this week and haven't spent nearly enough time looking at my notes. Yesterday, I went to the mall to meet Deby again, then my mom came over for a massage. Today, dh and I started the morning at Lowes. The plan was to get some type of cabinet for the bathroom and a new faucet. Well, right now, my bathroom is completely torn apart. We have an electrical mess and holes in the wall. See, we have a tendancy to start with something small and end up with a mess. We ended up buying a new vanity to replace my pedestal sink. Our house is small and storage space is limited, so this is a good change - just a messy one. Hopefully, dh will have everything put back together tomorrow so I can paint (and brush my teeth in the sink instead of the tub!).

Heidi - two days till your surgery. I've been thinking about you. Does your doctor have any idea why the increase with your thyroid? I hope you can get that back in check. That's the last thing you need right now. There are plenty of other things to keep your mind racing. I used to do the same thing, too (planning everything around my cycles). It sucks. Plan your vacation and take time for YOU and relax a little bit. Enjoy yourself and your dh. It's not fair to put your life completely on hold - live it.

Deanna - YAY to big follies! I hope one of them is going to burst soon with a healthy egg!

Kimberly - Have a glass of wine. They always help meltdowns. {{hugs}}.

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Let the IUI madness begin!

Went today to my RE, Carlos got his b/w done (he passed out again) anyway.....did my ultrasound. 4 mm lining, over 10 follicles on each ovary. My right ovary is about twice the size as my left. Got my clomid for 150 mg which is exactly what we wanted...so we are on our way.

Right now I have an appointment for the 30th to come in for an ultrasound, which I know will change cause that's CD 13 and I usually ovulate on cd12...but we'll see...
I also made the appt for my new PCP for the 18th of FEbruary, so that'll either be for an OB referral or a new RE specialist. Total damage today was $490. cough cough. We'll pay another $400 next week. I had to remind myself this is the last one I'll pay for....no matter what.

Rebecca - Will you be ready to do an attunement say around the 30th???

Steph - $250 a month is fabulous.

Jend - Great big hugs, and positive vibes your way. DH & I have been talking quite a bit about amnio. He's for, I'm against.

Deanna - Way back to your OPK/water post. The 4 hour window where I know I'm going to do my OPK I don't drink water at all and then make up for it later. Did the doctor say eggs or follicles?? Once the egg is released you can't see it. So she probably saw the follicles. She should have told you sizes on the follicles cause that gives you an indiciation of when they release. It sucks she didn't give you a trigger injection, they usually give those when follicles are about 20 mm. And yes 9 is a good size for your lining.

Kimberly - Stop putting it off - call your doctor. Don't let your fears or negative beliefs limit you. You are the only one that can be proactive with your fertility. My son was reading one of those inspirational books, and the back cover said "What would you do if you knew you wouldn't fail?" Think about that while you are dialing the number.

Heidi - I am so proud of you for stepping out of your comofrt zone and going to that meeting. Isn't it like a whole different world to see that pain in person? It's totally trippy. Remember it's always okay to take a fertility vacation. You need to take care of you and your marriage first. You are going through one of those crossroads right now. It's absolutely normal...just keep pushing forward.... Some days it's hard to believe that your dream will come true...but you don't have a choice but to believe. You need to force yourself to continue to move forward, step by step, even if you doubt the outcome.

Lauren - I just want you to know you speak volumes when you are silent and my heart hurts for you. And I want to pull you out of this sooooooo badly.

Karyn - Got your zip code - I have a conference call with other group leaders on Friday - so I'll find out then.

Oh! On Saturday Carlos made me a present. He made me a Kokopelli out of wood. For those of you who don't know what a Kokopelli is - read here... Kokopelli - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia And here are a few pics of him making it...

the start
http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j2...k/b5eba74b.jpg

half hour later
http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j2...k/2df59ab1.jpg

Before clean up
http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j2...k/1b7f207c.jpg

final product
http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j2...k/f1efb06a.jpg

t's now part of my alter...which is now complete - so I'm going to post pics in the Positive Intention Conception Thread. It's beautiful. =)

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Betsy ~ That is so sweet what Carlos did for you! Please tell him he did a wonderful job! (And if he ever feels like making another one, I got a space for it)

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Heidi - I almost forgot - fertility meds mess with your TSH. That's why it's so important to reevaluate your level every 6 to 8 weeks.

I've updated the calendar with dates I could remember.

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Betsy - Wow, Carlos is very talented! He did a nice job on that.

I won't have my distance healing attunement until some time in February, but I will certainly do my best for you that day.

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