I have said from the beginning that I did not want to do IVF. Now, it looks like that is going to be our best option. I am so conflicted about it. On the one hand, I hate the whole "petri dish" "science" idea of it all. On the other hand, it is our best shot at becoming pregnant (we are trying IUI for a couple of cycles first, but the odds are low b/c it is not a male fertility issue).

Does anyone know problems that can occur with IVF? I really worry about increased risk of health problems with it. I don't know of any, although I have heard of conflicting issues on whether or not increased risks exist. The only person I know of who has done IVF has a son with a severe leg deformity (but the mom has CP, so it doesn't mean that it had anything to do with IVF). I am a special education teacher, so of all the people who should feel "accepting" of the risk, I feel like it should be me. But I can't help worrying about if IVF has big risks involved.

On top of that, emotionally I feel weird about the idea. I'm Christian and feel like it should be in God's hands, and not in the hands of science. IUI seems okay to me because it kind of just "helps things along", but IVF and other ART procedures really make me feel uncomfortable.

If anyone knows anything about risks involved (or lack thereof) with IVF or ART procedures, please share. I really need to go into this with as much information as possible. Thanks.

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Sarah -

I really don't know anything about the risks of IVF. But I feel we are in the same place. Yesterday was my second IUI, but afterwards the doctor did not sound very optimistic. I have PCOS (which clomid and metformin are really helping with), my DH has low count, and yesterday while doing the IUI, the doctor did not think he was getting the cathedar in all the way. So he took everything out - we changed rooms and did it with an ultrasound with the iui. I apparently have a 90 degree turn from my cervix to my uterus?????????????????????

anyway to my point, I am also very Christian. and I have been questioning why??? for many months. It was supposed to be easy for me - like all my friends and family members - that it "accidently" happened to - that just blows my mind - how can it be an accident.
Anyway, this little saying has really been helping me get through the days when i just feel like sitting down and crying for hours on end.

"If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. Happy days, praise God. Painful days, seek God. Everyday, Thank God."

We are going to do 2 more iui's. then try one ivf - i have this feeling that I need to at least try everything within my power. In September, we will be married for two years, that is when we will start the adoption process.

I too have always felt, as far back as 16 years old, that I would have difficulty getting pregnant, but i really didn't think it would be this difficult and painful.

sorry - this turned into a vent for me

kristen

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Kristen- a 90' turn!?!?!? Wow, that sounds really rough! I really like the phrase you say to yourself. I'm going to write that down and keep it on my calendar (so that as I watch the days and months go by, I can remind myself!)
I was out with a friend yesterday and venting to her about ttc. She is actually the only friend that is actually good to talk to about this stuff! (Most others try to be supportive but instead say the annoying things.) I told her about how I always knew, and I've always been interested in adoption. She flat out said exactly what I've thought: that maybe God was telling me early for a reason.
Still, as conflicted as I am over it, we are going to try the IVF if IUI is not successful. I just couldn't stand always wondering; I'd feel like I gave up without trying everything.

Hopefully this IUI will have worked for you. Then you won't have to worry about going any further! Best wishes!

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Sarah, Kristy -

I am in the same boat as you ladies! I too am a Christian and have not felt comfortable with the whole IVF procedure as it seems to be taking control into our own hands.

I have read an excellent book that a Christian friend who also struggled with infertility (she has 3 children now!) gave me, it is called "WHEN THE CRADLE IS EMPTY" I forget at the moment who wrote it, but it discusses all infertility treatments in depth from a Christian prospective. It really answered so many of my own questions about the different procedures and how our faith connects to our choices for intervention.

I believe that if we have a desire in our hearts to be mothers, then we will be mothers! It says to seek God and he will give you the desires of your heart. I believe that means that God will place certain desires in your heart ( not give you whatever you want) and will make them come to pass. Maybe it will be a pregnancy, maybe through adoption, but we will be Mothers!!! I think if we walk with God, he will show us the way and make the path straight for us.

I can't recommend the book enough! Just know there are so many Christian women walking this rough journey, right along-side of you!

God Bless!

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Sorry for peeking in on your conversation...I feel like I have no right to even look in this forum. But I wanted to let you girls know that there are many people here praying specifically for you in this situation too. You're not alone.

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RebeccaQ~ That was some really good advise! Sounds like an interesting book.

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thanks - Rebecca Q - I want to go get that book today!!!

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I just wanted to post some further info about the book I mentioned - I was at my sister's house in PA when I first posted and didn't have the book with me.

"When the Cradle is Empty" - Answering Tough Questions About Infertility
By John and Sylvia VanRegenmorter

Back Cover:
Comfort for Couples Longing for Parenthood
You've waited, you've cried, you've prayed... and still your parenting dreams haven't turned out the way you hoped.

When the Cradle is Empty is a compassionate book with answers for couples dealing with this deeply personal heartache. Authors John and Sylvia VanRegenmorter share their experience and those of others to help you explore your options, get the medical help you need, deal with pressures from family and friends and protect your marriage.

Whether you are dealing with primary or secondary infertility, miscarriage, adoption options, or living positively as a family of 2, you'll find comfort, wisdom - and above all, sound biblical advice in this essential resource.

This is an excellent book! Hope you find some answers and encouragement as I have.

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Sarah -

Your posting sounded just like my story. I also teach special education. I just started IUI this month, and have been trying to decide if we should do IVF or not. We are both strong Christians and have struggled even with what we are currently doing.

I have researched quite a bit about the risks of IUI and IVF, and I have not found any increased risks compared with a regular pregnancy (other than multiples, which for us is okay). My husband told me I should pray about it. That I should see if I can gain any insight as to what is "right" for us to do, but everytime I try to pray about what God wants, I know that my own wants and needs are what I hear.

At this point we have decided to do 4 rounds of IUI (that is all our infertility doctor recommends) and then begin the adoption process. I understand those of you that want to further go on with IVF and wanting to try everything within your reach. We may need to go that route when the time comes too, but for now I think this is what we should do.

Good luck to each of you though!

Melissa