Lauren you are such a strong woman. I hope you get a call soon.

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Lauren-I am glad that you don't have to redo all the testing and that the meeting went well. I hope you find the right donor for you soon, whether it be known or anonymous.

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Lauren - you are so strong and you will make a wonderful mother. I am excited that you are headed on this new journey!

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Lauren-I'm glad your don't have to redo all that testing. The ball is rolling...I'm so excited for you!

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Lauren - I'm happy to hear that the meeting went well & that you don't have to repeat any testing. I'm excited for you & DH!

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Lauren - that is wonderful news for you!!! I hope they find a match for you soon! What a lucky eggie!!!

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Lauren - Wow, this all seems so 'real' now, doesn't it?? I know that perfect 'eggie' will come your way. You deserve it!

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http://rchiprean.abmp.com/index.html

Here's hoping for a perfect match. I agree with cassie.. what a lucky egg.

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Lauren, I am so glad the class went well and I have my fingers crossed that you find peace with your decision and the perfect donor comes to you and you know in your heart that she is the right one, hugs.

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Lauren~ I agree with everyone else - what a lucky eggie!!! (((hugs and prayers)))

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How incredibly sweet to say that it would be a lucky egg...
Thank you all SO much. You have no idea how much it means to have your support. I have not told ANYONE irl that we are really considering this, but even online (on ff) there seems to be a sort of stereotype associated with it, and people in general do not seem to accept it... which I guess is why we're leaning toward not telling anyone irl if we do go through with it.

Bec~ Yes, very real. I cannot believe it. I cannot believe this is my reality. Seems like something I would watch on tv... not something that would be my real life.

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I think that DE are a wonderful thing and that if you feel it's right for you then you should do.

The question of whether or not to tell the child kinda got the ball rolling in my head. In one respect I understand why you wouldn't tell. On the other, i realize i'm not a parent, but i am an honest person. My parents were very open with me on everything. My family situation was a confused one and I feel like had I not known some things and found out later it would have been for the worse. Even now I feel like there are certain things that would create a rift between my mother and I. It's extremely easy to alienate a child(or at least make them feel that way) but it's nearly impossible to turn that relationship back in the right direction.

Whatever you decide though I wish you and yours the best of luck.

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Lauren, I am so sad that there seems to be a negative stigma about DE. I think it is just another option for building a family. I dont really see anything that could be negative

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Lisa~ Thank you... I think it is an amazing thing too. I am so thankful there are women generous enough to donate, to help women like me to become a mom.

Amber~ I'm a very honest person... But I think this goes beyond that... trying to make a decision about what is best for your child for their entire life. My initial thought was "Of course I would tell," but after reading a lot of different things, I think I am in the "not tell" camp for now. Although, I do think it may vary based on if we used a known or anonymous donor.

If we used an anonymous donor, there would be NO WAY for a child to track who their donor is, so what is the point in telling? They would never be able to contact them, or know them, so isn't it more painful to know your mom is not your biological mom, and not know who is?

I definitely think if parents choose to tell it should be started when the children are young. Like introducing the idea to them early that "we wanted you so badly, and had to have some help to have you..." kind of thing.

Did anyone see that Oprah show with the donor sperm kids? Some of those children were really fortunate to have known donors that they could establish a relationship with, but the ones who knew they were from donor sperm, but could not ever know their donor (because it was anonymous) just had this emptiness, and ache to know who it was... It just broke my heart.

This is the hardest thing I have ever had to decide... The entire DE process is really hard.

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Lauren-it is such a difficult and personal decision about whether to tell the child. I think the decision is even more difficult/confusing than with sperm donation, because all fathers provide sperm and don't carry or give birth to their child, but with DE the child is grown, carried and birthed by their mother and not the donor, so it brings up the whole debate as to what determines motherhood-the person that provides the DNA? or the person that not only raises the child but carried them inside her and gave birth to them?

What is the stigma with DE? Maybe I am just naive, but I can't think of any reason why.

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Bina, I love the way you have described the emotions that must go into this choice. I fully believe that it has more to do with who raises the child than the DNA. And I must be naive also because I dont see how there could be a stigma. I just dont see how someone could judge this situation

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Lauren - Some thoughts came to mind as I was reading on your post. It's 6:30 here...and no coffee yet, so just bear with me. You know I love you.

Although I post on occasion on FF - I sometimes get the "judgement" vibe. You need to remember those people dont KNOW you. They don't know the ride you have been on or where you came from. You and I started TTC around the same time and joined CT a month apart from each other. We have come from the innocent days of TTC together when you get excited over every little thing and everything is normal and hopeful. Then comes that day when you get the diagnosis and things gradually change. The majority of us here at CT have ridden that ride right along with you. People on FF haven't seen our daily struggles and how we have to decide what is right for us and our families.

The other thing is with alot of things in infertility (even people who are dealing with it) there are alot of unknowns and people just aren't educated about it. And you know what? Good for them, that they don't have to be. Just think back a looong way..and think of your reaction to just even IUI or any testing. I know that mine were negative ones...now look at where we are.

When I've talked to people offline about donor sperm I literally get a look of disgust. (not sure if you get the same thing with donor egg) As if I'm actually going to have sex with the donor. It's something Carlos & I still talk about on occasion but he has a hard time with it too.

Just the other night I was talking to a friend in New York who has functioning ovaries but has no uterine lining. She has a child who is 6 and remarried this year, her husband has no children. I talked to her about a gestational surrogate. Her response "are you nuts, I would never trust anyone to do that". But who knows? Maybe I planted a seed.

But I understand the stigma side, you even get it for doing ART procedures. Had a friend the other day tell me it's probably a good thing I haven't gotten pregnant with IUI cause I won't rea