Lauren- UGH So sorry darlin..... good things are coming! I just know it!!

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Lauren- Ugg! Crud! That really sucks, I'm sorry. I agree with Kristy, are there any other options?

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Oh Lauren! Gosh dang it! How frustrating. *Hugs*

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OK girls, I have a delimma, and I would love your opinions...

They had to order some meds for my donor to make her ovulate, since she has a cyst. The pharmacy always calls me and asks for payment, and then they send me a receipt for the meds. WELL, today I got a receipt and it has her first name & last initial, AND her address on it. It has freaked me out. This is all supposed to be anonymous. I KNOW it was the pharmacy's fault, and they must have left the info on there by mistake. SO, part of me wants to say something to the drs office, or to the pharmacy to ensure that it doesnt happen again, and make sure she isnt getting anything with my name and address on it... BUT, I am worried that if I say something they will pull her as my donor, since it is supposed to be anonymous... I DONT want to have to go through selecting a donor again, and WAITING even more...

OH, I am just torn about what to do! I was so SHOCKED to open it and see a name and address...

What would YOU do???

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Lauren, wow, I really don't know what to say. It isn't your fault and you might tell the pharmacy, I doubt they would tell the doctor, but that is always a chance. I understand it being anonymous, is that what you wanted, the donor wanted or both? I am such a curious person that if I had the information I would have to investigate and find out more about her but that is just me. Does she live near you?

I cant help but look at it! I am drawn to it, now that it is there! DH told me just to shred it, and not worry about it.

She lives about 3 hours away from me. There is a satelite office for my RE in her town, so I assume she goes there for all of her monitoring, and not to the office I go to. I guess what worries me most is that she could possibly have my information too... I am so obsessive about things, I also worry I will always have her name in my mind or something... I dont know... I am so torn.

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Lauren, you have to do what is best for you. If you feel that you will always remember her name and you don't want to know anything about her, then call the office, tell them what happened and find another donor. Another way to look at this, if your baby ever found out and wanted to meet his/her biological mother, you now hold that information in your hand. It could be seen as a gift.

Perhaps you could discuss it with the office w/o being completely forthcoming. Find out if it were to happen that somehow either of you were to learn of each other's identities through no fault of your/her own, what is the policy regarding continuing with plan?
If they press for details, just say it is something that recently became a concern for you, but that you are just wanting to know the policy at this point in time.
Then, depending on the answer, you could decide whether to let the clinic know or not.

I absolutely 100% think that the pharmacy needs to know of their error. This is anonymous, private, protected information. She is participating under the assumption that you will never have her information available. The fact that you now have it (through absolutely no fault of your own) really muddies the waters, in my opinion. Should this donor be the one that works (I KNOW in my heart that you are going to get your child in one way or another), you will have it on your heart what to do with the information. If your child knows you used a donor, will (s)he want to know about that person? Anonyminity keeps you from even having a chance to share more than basic information. By now having a name to go along with the data, it suddenly opens a whole new can of worms for everyone.

I'm sorry if I sound like a downer or super negative. I think that you have now been put in a horrible dilemma. In my mind, the pharmacy should know of their mistake; the RE should know of the mistake; the donor should be aware of the mistake. She should get the right to choose whether she would like to move forward. You should be compensated by the pharmacy for any decisions that are made because of their mistake. This is not just, "whoops, we gave the wrong prescription to the wrong person (which would violate HIPPA)." This is regarding a potential life being created, and the future of all parties involved being deeply affected by their error.

Really, my heart goes out to you for even having to worry about this! If it were me, I'd be hopping all over the internet right now, trying to find anything I can about this person. (Which would violate her rights, so clearly you are a better person than I! )

Lauren, all I know is that deep in my heart, I am COMPLETELY confident that your baby is going to come one of these days. It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when and how. Hugs, girlie!

I agree with everything Sarah said!

Lauren - Gees, I'm not sure. I'd think that the fact the pharmacy put the donor's name/address on the invoice would be a HIPPA violation. I do agree with Sarah, too. I know you will do what you feel is best. I only hope it doesn't compromise your cycle. You've had too many delays already.

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http://rchiprean.abmp.com/index.html

Lauren I would be torn too, but I think I would have to contact the Pharmacy talking to who is in charge and then my doctor's office and let them know what has happened too. For many reasons, but one she could have your info too and this should be cleared up now before there are any permanent connections made, IYKWIM? Call them both.

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Lauren, just wanted you to know you have been in my thoughts and prayers (((hugs)))

Thanks girls for all of the thoughts... It has given me a lot to think about... BUT, I have some good news...

I let my curiosity get the best of me, and looked up the address on the receipt, and to my GREAT RELIEF it was a doctor's office! I'm assuming it is where she goes for her monitoring. SO, I do know her first name & last initial, and where she goes to the dr, but NOT her address or any real identifying information! ALSO, I pulled the last receipts I have gotten when they order her meds, and they usually only send me the printed receipt of my credit card (without my credit card # on it)... SO, that means that none of the paperwork has my name on it, so I feel confident she didnt get any of my information. I felt so much better, because I feel like I can move forward and not worry or stress that I would ever know who she was, or that she could know who I was...

It is odd for me to know her name, but I can live with that. I have not told DH or my mom the name, and never will (they're the only ones who know we're using DE, other than you girls).

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Lauren- Sounds like a great solution. I think you are making the right choice. I am sorry that it has been so up in the air the last few weeks. I hope they are able to get things moving soon. Keep us posted.

Laure-whew! That is good news. I know this was a potentially tough decision to make, especially when you have already been waiting for so long.

Lauren, I am so happy that it is a doctor's office and not her address. Now you know and will not worry about it and you can move forward in your journey!

Lauren - Oh you don't need that added stress.. UG.

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I'm glad to hear that you didn't get too much information on her and vice versa. Now hopefully that medicine will work and that cyst will go away and you can move on with things!!!

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