Early warning it's very sad and graphic and long so I'm just warning you!

Wasn't sure if I should do this here or not, I've got a lot of things that are going on (or going wrong) right now and needed to get some of it out. I'm not the kind of person who goes whining around to everyone and I'm just trying to keep my head up about things but I'm starting to get stressed and I know that's not good right now. ok here goes....

Well, July is when I got preggo with my 1st baby, everyone was so excited and my DH was the happiest I had seen him in forever, August 11th we got married, it was a beautiful ceremony and even though our cake fell over We didn't even care, we were so focused on eachother that I don't even remember who was there! Well, August 12th we left for Branson for our honeymoon, this was the first trip me and DH took by our selves, we had the greatest time ever! After that weekend it was back to college for me and back to work for DH. As you can prolly tell we were on cloud 9 for those couple of months..at the end of August I went in for my 12 week checkup and was going to hear the heartbeat! So exciting! Dh went with me for this appointment. I had been spotting some brownish d/c for a couple of days before that so the Dr. went ahead and checked me out. She let us listen to the heartbeat but after that everything went wrong......... When I got home I started bleeding, I started having severe cramps and so DH took me to the hospital. After waiting for the Dr. for 5 hours! He finally came to check me out again.....He had trouble finding my stuff because he said I had a high cervix....which means my OB prolly hadn't actually checked me as she was in and out like that well, then the bad news came that my hcg levels didn't match up so they did an ultrasound which showed a fetus around 8w 3d gest. which also meant that we didn't hear the baby's heartbeat but we heard mine!!!!! If that Ob couldn't tell the difference between my heartbeat and a bay's then she needs to lose her job. So, they sent me home telling me that i wouldn't even know when it happened...... wrong again!! I felt severe cramping where I couldn't even move, I was screaming like I was having a full sized baby! DH drove my back to the hospital screaming and lying in the floorboard of the car the whole way just so they could say they were full and offered to get me a wheelchair to set in the front lobby!!!! After that we were on our way back home and I felt a gush of water come out and about 20 min after that I passed everything. I had to see the fetus in the toilet, i tried to reachin there to get it but it floated to the bottom sorry so graphic but that's what happened, It took me around 3 weeks to stop bleeding and 6 weeks for my hcg levels to go down. So now our whole lives had gone from cloud 9 to way down there......Ok so we are up to October, I had missed almost 3 weeks of class and my teachers were nice enough to let me make up the work, only a test in like 2 of my classes, well Dh and I both get sick for about a week, my period didn't come when it was supposed to (1week late) So the whole last week of october i was poas and gettin negatives, frustrating!! we find out that we overdrew our bank account because we were 3 days late putting DH's check in there! we lost $250!!!! The tire on my car went bad so had to replace that, my battery stopped working so had to get another one of those, and DH's car tag was overdue so had to buy that! So Oct 31 comes around and DH comes home after being at work for 2 hours.......he got fired!!!! he had been working there for 2 years and had gotten enough raises to be making good $$$, Forgot to log a gun out when he was busy and by himself with a line of customers waiting, and managers didn't check the book so when they had a gun audit he got canned! that's pure bs!! ok, so beginning of this month, DH filed for unemployment, started lookin for another job, No one is hiring right now until the beginning of next year, after 4 weeks of waiting we just found out he got denied unemployment, which we plan to appeal, they said misconduct was found!!! WTH!! now all the bills are due and we have only enough $ left over to cover rent and utilities for december and then that's it! My job dosen't really pay good at all plus I'm only part time.
Ok, so now I'm supposed to be finally getting my associates degree this december, i applied for graduation and they screwed up on my last degree check and i have to take 1 more class!!!! B!S! They were taught how to do them wrong and now that someone else is in charge they are "correcting the problem" meanwhile i had to take 2 blow off classes this semester to be full time and now they want me to take 1 more! If they would have done it right I would have taken all i needed this semester! I've been going to this school since 2003! I'm so sick of everything not going good, everytime DH thinks he might have a job, he gets screwed over!

OK, SO SORRY about this lengthy post but I had to get all that out, now you won't here another complain out of me for awhile.Thankyou SO much for listening!

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Oh, mandamoo, I'm sorry the past several months have been so bad for you. I hope your DH finds a job soon. What kind of job will you get once you get your degree? Is it something you can say you have 1 more class to finish, but start working in the meantime?

I hope you get your BFP in a few days and it will be the beginning of a major change in luck for you.

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Jill

[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]

Thankyou sp and kay for your replies, i just know things are gonna turn around for us really soon cause we have been praying and everyone else is praying for us, i really don't know how much more we can handle, my mom says we are being tested....i don't know but i am just hoping for this BFP in a few days! I think that might be the start of some good luck maybe??? fingers are crossed!!

sp- I'm going to start on my bachelors soon in medical laboratory technology, i was hopeing to get a job in a dr. office with this though, it's an associates in science: biology: allied health. but i'm just frustrated that they told me in the spring "ok, you need these 2 classes and then your done" and now it's "ok, you need one more class and then your done" and I've worked so hard for it and it just seems that i will never get it!

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Sorry you're going through a tough time right now. As someone who is very experienced with the world coming to an end, I can honestly tell you that things will get better. I know how you are feeling, and that one class seems like it will never get done, but it will. Just keep at it. You are so fortunate that you have a Dh that you love and that loves you, so you can make it though anything. I know it might not be ideal, but your Dh may have to take a lower paying job that is not necessarily what he is looking for to help you guys get by until the right job comes along. Whatever you do, don't stop your classes, though. Everything will all work out.

mandamoo-I bet you could still start applying to Drs offices and explain that you have one more class. Just see what they say. Are you getting your BS at the same school or a new school? And are you starting in the spring or fall? I guess it depends, too, on when you are due once you are pregnant.

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Jill

[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]

Sorry you are so blue.

I certainly had my world falling apart after losing 2 babies and then divorcing and not having enough money to eat or buy toilet paper. I thought stealing tp from work was my lowest point.....but then I met the man of my dreams and will have a baby soon. It will get better, so much more than you could imagine and getting through times like these makes you that much stronger. I will pray for you.

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So sorry about your situation. I hope that things turn around for you and I will keep you in my prayers.

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Hi! I am new here and dont usually post much but I thought that I would reply.

I too have felt like life could go now further down. You are probably being tested but God will never give you more than he KNOWS you can handle. Just keep praying and try your best to stay positive. Though it doesnt seem like it now, things will get better and eventually life will right itself. Just take a deep breath and look forward. Better things will come.
Lisa

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Lisa
Eastern Shore, MD
TTC #1, cycle #2

thanks again for all your replies, and thanks for your prayers

sp- yeah I'll probably go ahead and start applying at the beginning of the year, I probably need to get through finals and the holidays, then I will start thinking about my options. I'm going to be going to a 4 year university in the spring plus take the one class i need at this 2 year college i've been going to. i think too that school is really getting to me right now cause it's the last 2 weeks and i've been trying to study for finals and i've been so distracted with everything else, and it seems like i just have SOOOO much that needs to get done and nuthing is happening. I've been working on this speech i have to give tonight for class all week and i have like 4 hours until i have to leave, i still need to practice, go to the library to do a power point presentation for it, and writre out my note cards, i'm hungry so i have to eat something, i need to figure up how much $ we have so i can pay all the bills for this month( absolutely dreading that ) and DH is wanting me to go with him to do stuff but I'm not superwoman! I just feel like pullin out all my hair right now! I think after i give this speech tonight that the stress level will go way down, hopefully. And i need to decorate our bare christmas tree we put up a few days ago! lol

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{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}

I have a sticky note posted on my computer that I look at EVERY day that says, "If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it." I believe that. Hope things look brighter for you soon!

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hi,
am sorry for ur loss and also all that u have been going through...hope things get better for u pretty soon starting with ur BFP...u will b in my prayers...hang in there!!! don't lose hope {{{HUGS}}}
best wishes n baby dust

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