Hey Girlies... Yeah So I know that I really have alot of catching up to do. This past week has just been such an emotional roller coaster for me. DH was home on Monday for the first time since we've been married, so it was great to go out to dinner and just spend that needed extra time together. Then on Tues, I went to the hosp bc Crystal had her baby, and that was such an amazing experience. Needless to say, and contrary to popular belief... it made me want a baby even more that I ever had. I was so overwhelmed with joy and happiness for her and the baby and just everything. I thought for sure that things would be diff for me this cycle. Well that they are... I guess you can say! DH came home from work on Thurs and we went out to dinner, I was telling him all about my experience w/ Crystal... blah blah blah... then we went shopping. While out and about, he started thinking of things we need to get to take to the beach this summer. So we were looking at thei oversized mug things and he's like oh we should get two of these... I was like yeah maybe only 1 bc I'm really hoping to be pg b4 then. His comment was umm yeah... I don't think that'll happen. I'm not sure i'm ready! I just flipped. Cried for like 3 hrs... How can he go from tkaing me shopping for opks and meds and bring home gifts and mat clothes and everything else to... i'm not ready! I'm so confused and I just hate life right now. It def doesn't help that AF is here bc I know thats just making my emotions worse, not to mention that its the start of a new cycle and all I want is for everything to be perfect so that this wouldn't be a waste...
UGH! Sry for rambling, I'm just so upset and confused. I fell very lost. I just don't understand how the man I loved so much would hurt me in such ways that I cannot control. I told him that I wished I would have known of this b4 I married him bc that would have prob made me change my mind. I don't want to be much older when I have my 1st (and only according to him also, we're only having 1 bc thats all he wants all of a sudden-forgot to mention that) and I'm already afraid of him being older and with his hx..... I'm just so scared!

Ashley- Honey calm down. I know how hard that is bc DH and I had the same talk but right before the wedding. I told him I had to have at least 1 child with him or the deal was off. I wanted him to experience from birth on and to have a child that has his blood running through it's veins. I am guessing that bc of your experience with watching a child come into this world has made you have the stronger desire to have a child. As for men, they are wired differently. I think he has just realized that you are really serious in getting pg and it may happen quicker than he anticipated. He is probably jus scared. Men shy away so quickly. You may need to just not let him think you are focused so much on getting pg. I know that one reason a marriage won't survive can be bc of children. You are just going to have to let him think it was his idea of having children and he will be ok with that. I will pray for you. Life is not over you will survive! I wish I could be there for you. It seems all of my friends that live in another state could use a shoulder right now. So, my shoulder is here. If you need a ear, send me a message and I will lend my ear to you!

Oh, we got our PreSeed so we are BD tonight! Oh, and tomorrow night me, my mom, and my cousin are going to Billy Bob's to see Tanya Tucker and my cousins husband play in his band! I will refrain from drinking bc I don't know if I already O'd or if CD11 (which is Monday) is when I will O! I want to be extra careful, KWIM? Ok, my next movie review will be on Bella! Oh, and if I can swing it I am going to see Sex in the City when it comes out. TTYL!

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Lindy
"Let's kick some fat butt!"

Claire ~ Yeah, I was single, had no real debt, I got laser treatment in my bikini area and my underarms. My bikini area still probably needs a couple more treatments but I'm pretty satisfied with my underarms. There is so little hair there and it is so thin, I shave it about once a month! I'm ready to be a contestant on Survivor now!

Becky ~ I want to see SATC so bad this weekend but my parents are visiting this weekend so it will have to wait. I'm not so much a Mr. Big fan as I was an Aidan fan. I just loved him. Carrie really screwed it up with him.

Ashley ~ I'm so sorry you are going through a tough time with DH. Believe me when I say I can relate to that on some level. *hugs* When were you guys married? How old are you?

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Mel - you and I could be twins! I know Mr. Big was "cool" but he did so many hateful things. Aidan was the biggest teddy bear and so damn sexy especially when he cut his hair and they got back together the second time. I had my lower legs done and have been thinking of doing my bikini area because waxing is such a pain (literally). I guess I should go price it out... maybe if I do my underarms too I'll get a good deal.

Ashley - I'm sorry that your DH is being a butt. I think Lindy has a good point that he's probably scared. Sometimes they agree to something and then the "oh sh!t" feeling comes on as it gets closer and closer. Try to remember that he's not doing it to hurt you (even though I know it hurts). It sounds like you really need to have a long conversation to make sure that you're on the same page. You have to let him know that there's never a "perfect" time to have a child and there's always going to be a fear aspect to it... I'm sure there's a little piece of you thats scared too even though you want it so bad. I have those fears too and its only normal... we just want it so much that it overrides the fear whereas for men they're not usually the ones that want it the most so the fear is more prominent.

I had a good night with my gfs except for a few little things that hit me where it hurts. One of my gfs moved to India with her DH and she was back in town to visit and get this... she was dropping off her 3 year old to stay with her ILs for 3 months!!! She recently got a new job there and its really demanding and her DH is starting his own business so they don't have time to watch her. Then she was saying how her DH really wants a second now - WTF is he thinking?!?! She doesn't want another right now but her first was unplanned so hopefully she's more careful this time. She also told us that her older sister who just turned 40 is pg with her 3rd and really unhappy about it since it was a surprise... how do people accidentally get pg when there are so many of us that have to try so damn hard?!?!?! It made me so angry!!!! These people aren't dumb teenagers either - they are mature educated women - how hard is it to use a condom?!

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Irene-That is crazy about your friends, esp leaving a child for 3 months!! I just read yesterday in a Pregnancy magazine that after teens, women over 40 have the highest unplanned pregnancy rate!! I guess it is because many think they are "safe"

As for a bikin wax.. I think I would rather give birth than get one, lol.

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Thanks Lindy, Mel and Irene... I have done exactly what you sugg about sitting down and talking and thats my issue. We have talked, we were on the same page, like I said, he was bringing home mat clothes as gifts for me everyweek. I have an entire hope chest full of baby/maternity things just waiting for that + line.... Then all of a sudden this???
He called me at work last night to c if he could go out w/ his friends and I couldpickhim up. I didn't want to let him, but I thought that it might be good,so I did... well needless to say he was hammered when I finally got there and now all of a sudden he's achanged man this am??? I'm really not buying it. He's said that he talked to him MOM... (Hello rnt we the ones tt have the baby??) And they deciede that the end of June would be a good time to start trying again??? WTF!!! How am I suppose to respond to that?? Then he tells me that his 40 yo friend and her hubby also want to get married and try, but really soon.... so maybe we can help them??? Help w/ what??? I'm just so beside myself today that again all I wanna do is cry....
Mel... I'm 25 DH 32 and we've been married for 3 yrs this August!

Claire ~ Thanks! You are very sweet. Karyn says I'm "McHottie" now. It cracks me up. And my stop smoking date was simply thirty days from the day I decided I was ready to quit. I thought about the end of June for a nice 'round number' But it just seemed like stalling. So I said to myself "self", I said, "if your ready, than no stalling, time to cowboy up". And that is all. Did great yesterday (you know dealing with my new eating habits and learning how to handle cravings has helped with thinking my way through the cigarette cravings??? *jaw drop*), til late last night when major drama involving DH ensued, and it got late, and I was psycho anyway b/c he had to be at work at 6am (and we're on one vehicle currently, so I have to take him)...uuuugh. Then I smoked so much that my throat hurt. I would have made it with my ten a day yesterday except fot that. Not a huge amount, but maybe another five or so.

Ashley ~ We all have our moments. We've ALL had those times when it's 'WTF am I doing?', and the DHs just don't know what they're even processing completely. I wouldn't put too much stock in it, it is likely that it was his way of saying that he is simply overloaded thinking/stressing about it right now.

Bec ~ That's a sad story. But new flowers, yay.

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Ashley- I am confused as to why his family is setting the date for you guys? Why is the end of June so much better than trying now? I hope that his changed man attitude will benefit both of your needs. I am so sorry you are having a hard time right now. I hope that you guys can work through his changed man stuff!

I am going to be out most of this weekend. Tonight Tanya Tucker at Billy Bob's. And my cousin's husband's band. Tomorrow Parkapalooza with free food drinks, activities, bouncing thing for DD, and concerts! Oh, and we are going swimming later. Oh, and I temped this AMand it was 97.7 so I might get CH today. So if that is the case I O'd really early this time! Does that mean anything if I O that early. As soon as FF is back up I will check it out! TTYL! Have a great and safe holiday weekend!

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Lindy
"Let's kick some fat butt!"

Hey, that was some post-crossing! LOL! Heck, that's baffling me even. I dunno... I'd surely tell him gently that it makes you quite uncomfortable for him to be talking about it with his mother. I'm not sure a/b the rest...

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Lindy - Your average temp seems to be around 97.5 - 97.7, so I don't think you O'd already. If you did, yes, that would be far too early.

Ashley - I hope you and dh find some common ground again. I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable with my dh and mil telling me what to do with my life, but that's me.

Irene - You're so right. People who are 'old enough' should know better. My bff, who is 35, recently divorced, previously struggled with IF with her ex, got pg with her bf - who isn't even around anymore. It was so hard for me to hear her say things like 'I don't even want this thing'. It was heartbreaking. Needless to say, I haven't talked to her about it in a while. When we do talk, I don't even ask how she's feeling or anything. I just can't bear to hear someone say things like that.

Steph - One day at a time.... you've quit before, you'll do it again.

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http://rchiprean.abmp.com/index.html

Bec

And boy to I have a drama to tell you...I'm going to tell it in the IF thread...

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Oh and there were three more baby birds. Dh and I think the mother pushed them out of the nest because they certainly weren't big enough to move around so much that they'd fall.

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http://rchiprean.abmp.com/index.html

Irene... I know how you feel. What drives DH and I crazy is seeing bad parents everywhere, how they don't deserve children but have them, but other people desperately want children but are having trouble having them. I was walking in the grocery store the other day, and I saw a family with 2 children (both probably well under 10). Get this... the father hands the kids a handful of quarters and points to the horse machine-ride, saying, "okay kids, we'll be right back." I was so angry. I live in a smaller town, but I don't think any town is THAT safe.

Ashley... I'm so sorry that happened to you. I think your DH just got a little scared, and hopefully it will pass soon. When I started going to the RE, buying OPKs, using preseed, and taking Clomid, my husband sort of got the same way. It broke my heart, but I knew he wanted children just as much as me. My solution? I just stopped talking about it. I don't hide things from him... I just don't talk about them. I think that keeping everything out of conversation has actually made things better. Around BD time, I feel it is more romantic and not so much a job. That week, he just feels like the sexiest, most wanted man in the world. lol. He did question me when I started taking temps, and I simply said it was something the doctor wanted me to do. He hasn't asked about it since. It was hard not having anyone to talk about it with... until I found this board.

Sorry... before posting this I saw you had posted an update... As far as setting a date to ttc... you have every right to be upset. What is the difference of a month?

With regards to Sex and the City... I have to admit I'm and Aidan fan too. I got so mad when she screwed things up with him.

Hope everyone is having a wonderful day!

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Ok...ok...you SATC girls. I know y'all loved Aiden, and I liked him too, but you gotta admit...Mr. Big is the love of Carrie's life! Even though it's been a rough road, you can't help but think they're just meant for each other. Ok...off my Mr. Big soapbox now.

Are there any other Mr. Big fans out there??

Is FF down right now? I tried to look at Rebecca's chart to see what her temp was today, but I can't view it.

Ashley- sorry you and DH are having issues. I hope y'all can talk and come to some kind of decision that you're both comfortable with.

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*Steph raises her hand as always having been on the 'Big' train*

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