Oh Jen. That 'caged animal' thing is hideous to feel.

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Bina - the only bad thing about setting a timeframe is that I have this panicky feeling that its not enough time. I assume her shower would be somewhere between 7-8 mos so that gives me 4-5 cycles

Jen - your anger is completely understandable and that really sucks that you can't take the day off... keep venting here if it makes you feel any better.

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Irene-yeah it isn't good to set ourselves up for potential disappointment All we can do is take it one step at a time.

Jen-that stinks you are stuck at work on top of everything. Like steph said, keep on venting if you need to.

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I really feel like I'm treading within an inch of my sanity. I don't know how they can possibly expect me to freakin be here right now............................ I'm being short with customers, I am on the verge of tears, and the thing that really sucks is if I leave, I'll get written up for it.

So do I sacrifice my record here at work and go home, or do I put my big girl panties on and just deal with it? I don't know what to do. I don't want to be here. I really don't.

I emailed the call center manager, who's been in meetings all afternoon, and I'm hoping that she pulls me into her office soon so that I can talk to her.......

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I know about that being tied to your office through this stuff thing. The umbrella answer is do whatever you need to do to cope.

I was so desperate to survive the afternoon with not being able to leave that I started taking sleeping pills at work, took four in two hours and ended up being taken to the emergency room by EMS because I was going night-night. And I was only trying to medicate myself into a level of calmness to survive the afternoon. But hey, I got out of work. Kidding...kind of. NOT suggesting that you do that. Showing you that you're not alone; I was that desperate so I know you're not being melodramatic at all.

You'll "survive", but it can cost you. Sometimes you NEED to be somewhere else. It's astounding what can leave a scar. If you need out, go. In the big scheme of things, who gives a flip about a write-up.

Just be safe, 'kay?

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Jen- Of course you are still angry. I hate that you have to work today, I'm sorry. I don't know the specifics about where you work or what you do, but surely there's gotta be a way to get the "stomach flu" in the middle of the day?

Irene- I know you would feel better having that BFP before the shower. But I really hate for you to think of a deadline-as if you dont' have enough pressure already, KWIM?

Bina- Thanks. Oh and I wasn't knocking british chicks, sorry. I probably should have mentioned that my friend that they were stalking was also from the UK. The healthcare system over there is a little wonky and I guess when she voiced her opinion about that these girls got mad at her at followed her to our forum to yell at her about how wonderful the heathcare is. Weirdos man, they're everywhere! I'm glad you are getting a little break at work. The spotting still gone? sure hope so

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Claire - Yeah thats what I meant when I posted back to Bina... I would like to be pg before the shower but I'm not considering it a deadline by any means because I don't want that panicky feeling. Although by the shower it should be 6 clomid cycles so that would be a deadline of its own right there

Jen - I hope you can speak to your boss soon and they let you leave.

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Claire-I was joking about the british chicks thing, no worries. And the healthcare system there does suck. I know our current system needs SOMETHING done, but when people talk about national healthcare they don't realize it means waiting months for surgeries, and other treatments, etc.


Jen-I can't imagine ANY boss making you stay at work after what you've been through, especially if you have to deal with customers. Hopefully you will get a chance to talk to them soon.

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Jen, I had the same problem with my boss about miscarriages. She didn't see it as a big deal, evidently. I would not think you would have to schedule this as a vacation day. Do they not give sick days? Or personal days? Having a miscarriage is a physical health issue and one that needs to be monitored by a doctor. Do what you have to do. There are always others jobs out there. Any boss who doesn't understand that you just need to not be there is not worth working for anyway.

And if they give you a hard time, ask them if they would let you leave if you had a child at home that was dying. Some people just don't see it that way, but that's what it feels like when you're miscarrying.

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I had sick time (they call it flex time)...and plenty of it at the beginning of the year. But when Joe's mom died in February, because we aren't legally married, they used my flex time for the time I was off for the funeral instead of giving me bereavement. Which I think is a f-ing crock of CRAP. So, because of that, I have NO flex time left since I went home early yesterday, I have to make up my time that wasn't covered by flex time yesterday tomorrow on my regular day off, and I'm just fit to be tied over it all.

I seriously want to just get up, shut my computer off and walk out. But then I'd get fired, and I can't afford to get fired right now.

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Jen- Really sucks. I have no good advice. Hang in there, girl. I can't believe that about the bereavment- yes that is a crock. {{hugs}}


Bina- Oh, I know I didn't offend you. the NHS over there is mildly terrifying. One of my friends had her lap and didn't get the results for 4 months! 4 months she didnt' even know if she HAD endo, let alone if she would be able to concieve. Hardly seems humane to me. Someone should tell Mike Moore .

Irene- OIC, sorry. I misunderstood. Is there a limit on how many cycles you can be on Clomid?

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Claire - it varies by doctor I think but the consensus I've seen is 6... my doctor hasn't said anything about how many cycles she will do. From what I've read if it hasn't happened in 6 the probability goes down alot. I reread my own post and it does sound like I was agreeing with Bina that it was a hard and fast deadline in my head... and I'm sure it will be one of those back of my mind things no matter whether I say its not a real deadline, kwim? don't we all have those... ugh!!!

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I know, I know. I think we all have some type of "deadline". I'm just glad that DH gave me a little reprive from his....October was approaching way quicker than I could handle. I just have to keep telling myself that he dropped the deadline. No pressure. Why does that not make me feel much better. I know I'll flip come August, but oh well.
Wow, so only 6 cycles on clomid. Talk about deadlines that we don't need.

Mare- Hun I've seen you lurking..........you gonna say hi or what?

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OMG! So I asked FF WTH about my little warning. The first thing I got was "We looked into it and have decided no further action is required" So I asked again bc I wanted to know what I had done. This is what I got:

Reports are ways for other community members to bring threads/situations to our attention. In this case someone saw you mention preseed and thought that violated our charter. It doesn't, though posting the website is something we ask not happen on the circles, so there was no reason for action on our part.

I hope this clears it up =),

But I didn't mention PRESEED!!! So basically, some little B tattled on me for nothing! Ooooh......

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Claire - I'm here...I was browsing in between work. I like to keep it minimized, and then when I have a minute, pull it up and refresh. Hi... my name is Mare, and I'm addicted to CT. hehe. BTW - I don't think you are allowed to mention that...

hehe. Couldn't help myself. That sounds so dumb of ff. You would think they would investigate (i.e. read your post) before sending out a warning.

AF is being weird this month. Yesterday it was medium and really crampy...today it seems pretty light - almost just spotting. Usually it is medium/heavy for a few days and then done. I hope everything is okay in there.

I hope everyone is doing well... It's almost Friday...

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Rhea ~ I missed your original post about the warning with the details, but from what you just now said, to give you a piece of insight, I moderated a very large board for several years, and a lot of that stuff is automated. I’ve never been on that board, but what you said it sounds familiar. Every post has a button you can click to report it, yes? Probably with a little block to type what the reporter thinks is wrong with the post. That kicks off automated messages, to the moderators and possibly to you. The ‘not posting hot links’ thing is very common. You would be amazed what goes down with shills (people who go undercover and pretend not to be affiliated and promote a company’s goods) anyplace online where someone thinks they can make a buck. Who knows. But you said you didn’t post anything, so perhaps a glitch in the universe. Or someone screwing with you, but that’s pretty dumb. Don’t worry about it. Moderators on boards like that aren’t real sensitive (jeezus you learn) and see things from a WAY different perspective; it takes a lot to have to actually come down on someone or think about bouncing somebody. No big.

Let's see, hilights... I had a board member send me naked pictures of herself, telling me that she'd had an affair with another board member (both professionals in the same industry) and that he'd taken them and was harrassing her with them. And another poster who was mad used my professional information to track my company's address down and actually mailed me a little bag made from a kangaroo scrotum. So...yeah. It's an intereting job. Those are just some off-the-wall exampes. Say nothing of the daily babysitting. It's one of the things that's SO cool about CT. Things are usually pretty quiet and safe. I think. Of course, our kick a$$ moderators could be flying around scooping up bad guys and saving us every hour and we'd never know. But I suspect it's pretty good around here mostly.

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