Well I needed to know if I had done somthing wrong to make him act this way so I rang him and when I heard his voice I ached with pain I asked him why he was ignoring me ad he said that he was not ignoring me so I asked why didhe not answer my text messages or phone calls and he went quiet.

I decided to take the bull by the horns and ask out right "do you want me in your life or not do you want me to be a part of your life if ot then I will walke away" at this point his voice changed as if he was scared at this point. I said to him "wel I guess you have answered my questions by not asnwerig me you cannot even answer me when I am asking you a question" he paused and said "that is because I dont know where you got all this from I do not understand why you are saying these things. I repeated the question to him " do you want me in your life" and he said to me " what do you want?" my blood started to boil at this point and I told him I neded to get off the phone as I was emtionally drained and could not talk anymore and that I would call him later in the week he was saying something to me but I hung the phone up - by Wednesday I had calmed down a bit well enough to talk to him again I said to him "I sent you text messgaes and calls and he that he never replied" - he said "I know I got all your texts and missed calls" so I asked him why did you not reply to me then I said one of th messages and I remembered it word for word I asked you to call me because I needed to talk to you but you never replied and out of all the messages I sent you this was the one time I really needed you" agai I was left with silence inside I was rejoycing in the fact that I had exposed his ays but at the same time I was hurting as I would never had wished things to go this way.
He said thathe had time to think beng away but his feelings for me and how he feels about me has not changed only what he wants to do with his career and I felt still that I was not a part of it.

It has been 3 weeks now now and he has not called me after tellingme he would and I have not called him I know everyone says your better off out but it hurts it really hurts here has not been a day that I do not cry my emotions are so weak now as silly as it sounds I wear my mascara to work soley so I do not cry in the office at work I feel like I am in mourning as the pain just will not go away and it creeps up on you. I know time is a healer but I feel we could have been good together maybe if he did not have a breavement in his life.

Here I go again sorry the water works have started again I never thought this type of break up could hurt so much.

My head is trying to tell my heart its over but my heart just keeps hurting ;-(