Thank heavens it's not just us! Yeah, I totally know about all passion being gone. We only BD now... and only when the calendar tells us too! It is frustrating and we talk about it, but neither of us feels motivated, it's all become a chore.
I have even mentioned to DH that maybe we should stop trying for now and try to focus more on us. He is very into ttc, though, so doesn't want to quit at this point, and I'm fine with that. I chalk it up to "our love life sucks for now, but that is one of the stresses of ttc... once we are done trying we can refocus our energies."

As for the deal with you and coworker, I really think you need to avoid any further interactions with this guy (even normal conversation). It is just going to mess with your head, otherwise. I have kind of had a similar issue... the only guy I've ever loved (besides DH) and I recently found each other online. It really messed with me inside; even though all communication was completely innocent, just friendly hellos and catchup-type stuff, it still managed to really confuse me. I started getting really depressed and upset with DH all the time. I would dream about the guy (confusing "whom do I love" type stuff) and then wake up feeling guilty. He and I were supposed to go out to lunch to catch up. I was nervous, and realized the nervousness had to do with thinking I might have feelings for him again. So I made the decision to completely cut ties, and I know it was the best choice I could have made. He is a really nice guy and I am saddened that I cannot continue to be friends with him, but I know for the sake of my relationship, I will not put myself in a situation that could ever possibly lead to me doubting my relationship with my DH.

I know how hard it is having our love lives destroyed by ttc. I know you are stressed and this guy is something new and different and exciting. I just really don't think that you should even mentally risk your relationship with something that really doesn't mean anything. And if this guy knows that you are married, I say shame on him for engaging in such flirtatious converstations with you. You are under a lot of stress... what is his excuse? (I realize he could be dealing with issues himself, but really, do you want to even deal with someone who threatens your relationship in any way? Stay away!!)

Still, I'm glad you posted this. It's good to know that we are not alone in this struggle.

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