How does one begin to analyze oneself? Especially how one acts in a relationship
I have never been in a relationship that I havnt taken lightly. But I guess that is
my downfall. I have never seen life as anything much deeper than it appears.
So I met this one guy and he made me feel all those feelings I had always wanted
to feel.But with all the good comes all the bad. You know anger, jealousy, resentment.
But no matter what we went through I couldnt walk away. I always went back for more.
No matter what words were thrown at my ego, I always returned. Its just one of those things
I have no control over.
I write these words today very much in love with this same man. Someone I would do
anything for. He has asked me to write what I feel I have done wrong in this relationship.
I can find no answer for him because in my heart I know I have tried everything in my possible
ability to try and make him happy.I know in his eyes I am not obedient and I dont do
everything he asks of me.But true love should be about compromising ones feelings for the sake
of his or her lover.
I feel the biggest wrong I have put forth into this relationship has been taking him too
lightly. Not truly understanding him and what makes him truly happy. I always thought it was
just about sexual favors, and maybe it is. These little things he asks of me, does that make
him happy knowing that I will do what he wants no matter how small of a request it is?
So to make him happy and fix any wrong that I may have caused, unconsiosly or conciously
mostly unconsiosly, I need to do these little tasks. If either to earn his trust or prove
my love to him. Because knowing that he is happy is all that I need. Everything I do
be it working or planning my schooling is for him. Because if he needs my help I want to be there
for him ready and willing.