Oh Steph, can you just run away? Because right now it sounds to me like you need a break. Oh how I wish I could help you hun. If I had the money I would send it all right now.. There is a point that your own sanity matters more than everything else.. more than H's health, more than keeping the house, more than good credit. I know I haven't been around for everything, but maybe it is time to cut ties and walk away for a little while.. gain some prespective. If I am way off base, just ignore me, but I am hurting for you. HUGS