**breathing**
I just about fell out of the car on the way home last night, seeing that regular unleaded was up to $3.79/gallon...and remembering the good old days where you could fill up your tank for twelve or thirteen bucks. I have a distinct snapshot memory during my freshman year (gulf war) when per gallon first broke ONE dollar. Everyone was fainting. Now we'd donate a kidney for it to be down to twice that!
This is going to be weird (whispering about the ttc thing). Daniel and I have been arguing -- well, more like he mentally hibernates, and I end up blowing my top. I had this urge to put one fist into the palm of my other hand to reinforce it, and elbow him through the wall last night as he walked past me. I restrained myself. He just infuriates me, and I get to the inconsolable point, and then he doesn't even try...blah, blah, blah. He b!tches when I say something 'strongly', yet the subtle approach doesn't work. He got all pissed last night b/c I said something like I was tired of leading him around by the nose, and why can't he take some initiative to do things that need to be done? This was precluded by us seeing a red sticker on the truck as we pulled into the driveway -- it's been parked on the street, not running, but it was fine until a couple weeks ago when the tire spontaneously went flat. THEN it qualified as a 'junk vehicle' and became a violation of the city ordinance, so the police red-tagged it yesterday. How do you air up a tire of a vehicle you can't drive? Driveway it very slanted, so I've never wanted to push it back into the driveway for fear of getting run over or putting it through the garage door; I couldn't do it alone. A week and a half ago, I told him that I didn't want to deal with the tire thing, for him to figure it out, after an officer stopped by and told me of the violation. Nothing. Then a few days ago, I said we should just push it into the driveway (forget ruining the tire and all that). Nothing. So he didn't understand why on top of the tough day I had yesterday, on top of the high level of stress that BREATHING in this life and on 'simmer' all the time, why seeing that damn sticker put me over the edge. And then he gets mad, which makes me madder (like, I'm already mad, who the hell are you to start trying to take over the being mad -- I don't know), and then it becomes a pissing contest. So it ended up with me making him go away inside and pushing the truck myself and refusing to let him take over. Which I couldn't do (have you ever tried to push a vehicle with a flat rear tire? Up over the lip of a driveway which slants up then down? I'm sore from trying). But a nice man stopped and helped me. Daniel said I emasculated him, letting someone else help. I said 'well, the man who stopped was nice to me and explained his suggestions so I understand what he wanted me to do'. We need so much therapy...
What was I talking about?
Oh boy, I can ramble. Oh yeah, the ttc/O time thing...he says he's on board for the next week starting tonight (he's Captain Extreme, always has been; it's only CD8...). But hell, I'm not going to discourage him. Take what I can get at this point. But I'm not holding my breath for the next week to see if he keeps his word...