Speaking of 'we all have those days', I feel like I'm going to have one. I'm fighting with myself. I had good breakfast, I did my push-ups this morning (thanks Kayla!), I have a good lunch waiting, and I feel like I'm on the verge of hysterical tears and I want to walk to the drugstore next door and get doritoes, candy, and soda. Sabotage. I would sabotage myself.

Maybe I'm just ready for lunch? And I feel sad. And tense about ttc again next week. And I was looking again at my grandma's on-line obituary from six weeks ago this morning. And read a facebook post by my sister about being in Florida in grandma's house (apparently, my sister is in Florida to 'help' or whatever -- my parents left today to go deal with the legal stuff for a week), and made some comment about how 'not to knock her siblings, but how we were fortunate we didn't have to deal with it, b/c we have a big sister who is single (so's my brother)and on school break to do it'. Excuse me, what are my parents going to be doing? She's so ********* self-centered. She has this belief that she's this 'big sister'. Oh please. Who has been HERE with the rest of the family forever? Who is going to be the one who will end up dealing with our parents legal and health issues? ME. AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT. My dad and I JUST Monday talked about getting a safe deposit box to share and put legal papers in, just in case something happened to one or the other of us -- he's realizing how complicated it is and he needs to put his affairs in order. My mother and I talked a few weeks ago about getting some sort of medical power of attorney set up so that if she gets to be a pain when she's old, I can just do what needs to be done. She doesn't want me to have to go through what she's been going through the past year with her mom. I'd have given my right arm to have been able to go down there a few months ago, and even now. Right before she died, I had my brother on the phone, and was trying to make plans to make the 17 hour drive because I felt like I needed to see her. But then she died.

I think I'm sad.

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