Lindy ~ I'm glad I made you laugh. So sorry you are struggling, no matter what the reason. No matter what the issue, what is 'right' or 'wrong', if either of you is uncomfortable, there's something to work on.

Re: the porn issue (ROFLMAO@ 'beating it to death', whoever said that a couple pages ago), the last time DH and I watched it, he had a guy at work give him a BAD DVD, and we sat on the floor in front of the tv eating cereal and laughing out a$$es off. It personally doesn't offend me, but I've also never been in a situation where I felt I was in competition with it; DH really isn't into it. And I'm personally much more turned on watch us in a mirror than strangers on tv. I'm always like 'oh, she's doing that wrong', or 'we can do better than that'.

And Re: the masturb. issue, I know DH has always done it from time-to-time. One of his old jokes is 'Nobody loves me like I love me'. Anyway, it doesn't bother me b/c (past year notwithstanding) I never felt deprived. I never felt the need to 'be with myself' as someone put it (again, cracked me up!), but it didn't bother me that he did from time to time. It's a different head-space for them than being with us. If I was feeling ignored and knew he was doing that, I might have had a whole different spin. To me because I've always had plenty of attention (again, before the past year), it's always been a separate thing from our sexlife. But we had a HUGELY active sex life. Sometimes 4, 5, 6 times in a day, at least 2 was normal (the record was something ridiculous like 9 times in 12 hours or something) -- of course, this was back when we were young...LOL...actually it was back when we didn't have teenagers around and could do all the weird and mildly kinky and silly stuff that kept the flame burning round the clock. And before ttc made us insane after the 2nd m/c, and before clomid and that entire year. It was a tough handful of months that year...

Oh, for the good old days. Maybe again someday, but there's a lot of work to do before we have that kind of trust and freedom again.

And YAY again a/b Bec's big ol' follies!

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