Karen, you're nuts. Absolutely nuts.

Pictures will be taken tomorrow. And downloaded this time. I have it set up to go to Gail's tomorrow and either she or her sister will play photographer. I actually think I might wear what I have on today, cause I look fabulous. I was posing in the bathroom mirror this morning, imagining picture poses for y'all.

I think I'll stick with the 8 pushups for a little while. I actually feel just the tiniest bit of soreness, mostly in my pectoral area, so I need to stay put until that isn't happening, then I'll go up another. Probably a week. Hopefully, toning my pec's up will pick my boobs up a little too!

Time to get back on the horse for me. I've been 'bad' by my standards for the past two weeks, for myriad reasons, blah blah blah. BUT, I'm going to go do a nice grocery shopping trip tomorrow, and I can get myself all set up to get back on track, building Daniel into the plan. I have to plan some meals in my head a bit. Mostly where I slip up is if I am unprepared to make myself lunch the night before to take to work. Also, if I'm really down or tired, I might have fast food at night. We talked last night about the getting me more sleep thing. We've been talking about it for several years (he has a little insomnia, a little waking-up problem from back pain, a little nightmare problem, and a BIG bad habit problem), and he ends up keeping me up late at night. Not that he is jumping up and down on the bed; he'd be perfectly happy for me to go off to sleepy-land and stay up to watch tv. BUT, I can't do it that way. #1, it's important to me for us to go to bed together most of the time. #2, he can't be trusted to be responsible to get to bed...before he knows it, suddenly, four hours will have gone by. #3, if he's in a bad way meds-wise, lack of sleep is a HUGE part of the problem; I think a bigger problem than the meds, actually. #4 Most of the time, I can't go to sleep if he's awake in another part of the house. Either I can hear the tv (my stupid bat ears) or I can't settle cause he's not there, or I'm worried that he's not going to come to bed, or I'll never sleep soundly, and wake up to go try and drag him to bed every 45 minutes, or whatever. ANYWAY, so he's been BETTER in the past handful of nights, we've been getting to bed by 1am (we get up at 8am to get us both to work). BUT, when he wakes in the middle of the night, and then if I do and start 'babysitting' him to get him back to bed...ugh. BUT, 1am is better then 3am, which is how it could be before. And last night, we actually BOTH got in bed, going to sleep at midnight (maybe a few minutes after). Major progress. Thank the Lord, I may have finally gotten through that thick skull... I have a problem sleeping, and whether he likes it or not, he helps me sleep. I told him this morning to look at the difference in me, how I don't go psycho if I get annoyed or if we're running late, and isn't Stephanie-not-going-psycho worth more than looking at David Letterman's pretty face? OMG, I so hope that this is the beginning of working toward getting me what I need at night. It's been SUCH a strain for the past few years. And I want him to know what it feels like to be more rested. I think it will absolutely help his level of chronic pain and basic psychological outlook, even though he's cranky cause he feels like something is being taken away from him (alone time with late night talk shows, and the tv in general). So...we'll see. Oh, I'm hoping. I want to believe so much that we're going to move in an upward motion; I want to be able to trust him...

__________________