When we were in counseling over the Donor issue the book "Helping the Stork" was reccomended to us. I can send it to you if you'd like. Right now it's up in the attic but once we put away the Christmas stuff it'll be back in my book case and I can send it to you.

It was an awesome book even though it's coming from a donor sperm angle really it talks about Donor insemination as an overall topic. The medical, legal and emotional aspects.

Some of the emotional decisions are the same. Whether to tell the child, friends, family. Possible family medical issues. I did cord blood for Jonathan and I probably would again and definately would if it was a child from Third Party

It would be hard for me to keep such a secret from EVERYONE. And if I told one person then I would have to tell the child. Carlos disagrees he wouldn't want to tell anyone. But I wouldn't be able to carry that with me for the rest of my life. I think if we had used his brothers sperm I would have an easier time keeping the secret.

The same with the artificial reproduction, Carlos would never want his child to know. But if I conceived a child that way I would be proud of letting them know the lengths we went through to get that child here once they were old enough to understand.

edit to add after Steph's post: It really depends on the level of maturity of the child. Jonathan was 9 1/2 when we started the inseminations and he knew of them and he asked the questions, if he was made the same way. And his response was Did you want me just as bad? Which of course I answered yes. It's one of those things that I think you have no choice but to play it by ear.

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