Agreed, there is a way, regardless of the birthing experience, or any problems.

I think the biggest trouble a lot of mothers inexperienceD with nursing have is lack of support (like your nurse who didn't have hands-on experience). It used to be your own mother, grandmother, sisters, cousins, all who had nursed, all around to teach you about your new baby. I used to get really frusterated when people told me they stopped nursing because they got engorged, or because the milk dried up, or things like that. Usually such simple solutions. But I gave up the breastfeeding cruisade a long time ago...

I feel kinda soap-box-ie, but I don’t mean to be. Old habit, I guess. I guess it was my way of showing the world that I wasn't less just because I hadn't given birth yet, you know? It's a hard thing to battle sometimes. There's a part of me looking forward to my first child simply so that I can dump all that old stuff out of my head – all that old yearning and jealousy, and ‘knowledge-and-experience-morphing-into-self-righteousness’ stuff. It’s such a heavy weight on my soul.

The last time AF came, when I was upset, I asked DH if he knew what he wanted to be when he grew up when he was three. He said no. I said I did. I wanted to be a mommy. I’ve spent my whole life waiting for my turn. There’s a lot of anger and stuff, jealousy, longing, disappointment, excitement. God, there’s just so much stuff. I don’t know how this turned into venting. Never know when it’s gonna come out, I guess.

MIT - the nursing after delivery thing has do do with bonding, of course, and mostly that 'quiet alert' stage within that short period after birth. But don't worry, it doesn't mean you have to grab her while she/he's still slimy or you've missed it. My brain is remembering something about twenty minutes to an hour being 'normal' for that alert stage? Anyone remember for sure what the norm is?

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