I picked up a Reader’s Digest at the store last month with a story on insomnia. I had gotten it for DH, because he’s a terrible sleeper, and it causes horrific problems for him. We’ve been fighting about it for a long time, because he won’t address the things that he can control to help himself, and it takes away from his quality of life, and from my ability to manage my own sleep issues. I am an insomniac, have been since my toddler years. It occurred to me that it might be a helpful thing to talk about, since there is so much stress related to TTC, as well as the sleep troubles that come along with being pg, and the lack of opportunity for good sleep that comes along with having an infant. I don’t even know what the current percentages are, but a large percent of people are sleep deprived in this country, I believe it is the single most widespread cause of health problems in general. There are many people who will have one or more bouts of insomnia in their lives, lasting anywhere from a few days to a few weeks, and then there are those who suffer from the condition chronically.

There are multiple possible medical causes for it, and multiple medical treatments, but I’m not really going to say anything about that part b/c that’s stuff that should come from your doctor. What I am going to say is that recognizing that it’s not healthy or good for you to not sleep, can be very destructive, and could have the single most impact on general mood, health, immune system, and mental and emotionl functions, and if you have a problem with it, seeing your doctor is absolutely an option.

I’ve spent years researching sleep disorders, psychological aspects, brain chemistry, anatomy of a sleep cycle, causes, solutions, etc. I’ve had multiple doctors, including a psychiatrist trying to treat it. I’ve been on medication therapy at times. The insomnia itself has presented and gone into remission many times and in different ways over the years. I was a junior in high school before I even knew the word ‘insomnia’, or realized that I had a problem. I didn’t know that kids didn’t sit awake playing or reading for several hours before going to sleep. I have memories of being awake at many times throughout my youth. There are stories that get told of me getting up in the night and climbing from my crib and falling asleep somewhere else in the house (once where I was a toddler and crawled into the netting under the couch and fell asleep sometime in the night and they almost called the police because they REALLY couldn’t find me).

Anyway, I’ve done a lot of trial and error, experimenting, and studying on sleep, and if I can help anyone with my experiences, or learn anything new from anyone, that would be cool.

Danny said he saw an episode of Dr. Phil a few months ago where he said something like: ‘if you want to see a person capable of psychotic behavior, look at someone who is suffering from severe sleep-deprivation’.

I’m not sure where to start. I guess with the basics – there are a few ‘gold standard’ rules for treatment and prevention of insomnia and even temporary sleep troubles.

1. Go to sleep and get up at approximately the same time every day.

2. No reading, watching tv, or talking on the phone in bed. You mind should equate your bed with two things only: sleep and sex.

3. Establish a bedtime routine: watch the same show, do the same hygiene routine, things like that. Again, this helps flip the switch for your mind to tell you that it’s time to sleep.

4. Do not have a clock where you can easily see it in from your bed. Looking at the clock when you are anxious about sleeping and tired feeds the problem.

5. If you are in bed awake more than 20 minutes (about long enough to get annoyed and notice that you are awake), get up for 15-20 minutes, leave the room, do something else, and try it again. This takes self-control, because it’s easy to get sucked into that midnight movie on tv…

6. Cut out caffeine in the afternoon and evening. Even if it never affected you before, at some point in your adult life, you will become more sensitive to it.

7. Daily exercise, even a 10 minute walk, but not too close to bedtime. I’d say not within two hours before bed. I find this particularly helpful (a 20-60 minute walk), partly because of the post-exercise shower, which helps to drop my body temperature and relax me. I have a difficult time falling asleep when I’m hot.

8. Sleeping pills are not meant to be a solution in and of themselves, but can be a good tool to train your body to sleep properly. Use them in ADDITION to other solutions to avoid chances of physical and psychological dependence.

9. Pay attention to how you feel if you are having trouble sleeping and try to adjust your environment before going to bed. Room temperature, physical discomfort (pillows, wrinkles in the sheets, body aches), pillow and/or mattress firmness/softness, sound levels, and clothing can really affect a troubled sleeper.

10. Last line of defense for me: change locations. Drag a pillow and blanket to the couch, bring your cell phone as an alarm or whatever, and try again. Sometimes, that is enough, and if I wake up later, I can usually go right to bed and sleep.

11. Sex. Sex helps me sleep. Uh, before, not during. LOL!

There are so many things to try as part of your routine that are touted as ‘solutions’, but it is very personal. Everything to drinking a glass of warm milk to visualization. When I was first on prescription sleeping pills when I was about 21 or 22, I tried so many things. The combination I finally created was this: About 1 hour before bedtime, I would do all of my hygiene stuff. I prepared a cup of sleepytime tea with a little milk and sugar, sat down to read a fantasy type book (I think it was The Princess Bride, actually). I took my Ambien (I learned with trial and error that it worked better for me if I took it longer than is recommended before bed, normally, it’s no more than fifteen minutes before lying down). I’d turn off the lights after reading a little, light a candle and relax. Then, I would gently blow out the candle and go straight to bed, slowly, with as little activity as possible. I’d even have the sheets turned down already. If I used visualization, it would be a particular type of gemstone, and I’d visualize it spinning. A round brilliant cut red one (no idea where that came from). Other visualization techniques gave me too much to think about. There are many techniques, from tensing up and releasing all muscles individually from the toes up, to picturing yourself on a big leaf, falling through the air, to imagining a blue wall. Lavender aromatherapy (there are multiple ways for this from soaps to lotions to sprays to oils – Rebecca is going to send me a new essential oil to try and I’ll give a report). In the past I have used lavender lotion and/or body mist on the sheets, pillows, self, etc. Journaling earlier in the evening to get worries out of your head. Changing your meal habits to be lighter or heavier (no, this does not cause nightmares!). Drinking more water during the day and concentrating on general overall health. This is trial and error as to what works for you. Ritualizing what you do before bed is HUGE. You brain will start to recognize the triggers.

Some facts about sleep/lack thereof:

-Chronic insomniacs generally have a higher resting body temperature, are often overweight, and are more prone to elevated blood pressure and heart disease. A solid amount of sleep gives your body the chance to drop your temperature and B/P, as well as shut down metabolically – if you are awake more, you are actually hungry more (and tend to crave carbs and sweets). Sleep is like miniature hibernation. There are chemical happenings during sleep that are essential to optimum health.

-Alcohol might seem to help you get to sleep, but you actually get a far less restful sleep with it in your system.

-If you are prone to nightmares or night terrors (like my DH is), the MORE you sleep, the better off you will be. Sleeping in little chunks, and avoiding sleep forces your body into confusion and your sleep cycles are disturbed when you are sleeping. You are much more likely to startle awake or remember a nightmare if you stay awake until exhaustion hoping to avoid a nightmare or sleep in pieces.

-Sleep/lack of is not like a bank account. If you are deprived of two hours one night, throwing in a two hour nap the next day does not ‘make up for it’. Scientifically, it takes up to four nights of proper sleep (not extra) to recover the body from ONE night of inadequate sleep. I once added up an estimate and did a little figuring…and decided I’d have to sleep for 18 straight months to be healthy…LOL!


I hope this can help someone. I liken being an insomniac to being an alcoholic: I will be one forever. Sometimes I’m in recovery. Sometimes, I’m managed. Sometimes I fall off the wagon. Sometimes it comes out of nowhere, sometimes, I pushed myself a too far and kicked it off.

I’m sure others have tricks or problems they’ve experienced. Fell free to share questions or comments or suggestions. I’d planned to work on this longer and I might think of some more stuff, but I’m too tired now…LOL!

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